Is Beating of wife in Quran and in Islam allowed???

Question

Before answering this question, please check this link http://gimmetruth.wordpress.com/2006/04/27/to-beat-or-not-to-beat-is-it-really-a-question/. The Arabic word dharaba, which most translators take to mean something akin to ‘to hit,’ ‘strike,’ or ‘beat (mildly).’ Of course, none of these terms exhausts the possible meanings of dharaba. For example, in the Hans Wehr Arabic-English dictionary (A Dictionary of Modern Written Arabic), we also find that dharaba can mean ‘to turn away from,’ ‘leave,’ ‘forsake,’ ‘abandon,’ or ‘avoid.’

If it was allowed, why would Mohammad(s.a.w) tell people not to hit their wife..... And wouldn't people argue with Mohammad(s.a.w) that when Quran is telling me to hit my wife, why are you preaching not to hit.....

If it was allowed, wouldn't Mohammad(s.a.w) set an example by hitting either Khatija or Aisha to show us how to hit our wife.... Mohammad(s.a.w) didn't hit any women or children, not even slave. So this shows that he didn't respect this verse

Answer 1

Live With Women Honorably

God said,

[وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ]

(And live with them honorably), by saying kind words to them, treating them kindly and making your appearance appealing for them, as much as you can, just as you like the same from them. God said in another Ayah,

[وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ]

(And they have rights similar over them to what is reasonable) [2:228]. The Messenger of God said,

«خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي»

(The best among you is he who is the best with his family. Verily, I am the best one among you with my family.) It was the practice of the Messenger of God to be kind, cheerful, playful with his wives, compassionate, spending on them and laughing with them. The Messenger used to race with `A'ishah, the Mother of the Faithful, as a means of kindness to her. `A'ishah said, "The Messenger of God raced with me and I won the race. This occurred before I gained weight, and afterwards I raced with him again, and he won that race. He said,

«هذِهِ بِتِلْك»

(This [victory ] is for that [victory].)'' When the Prophet was at the home of one of his wives, sometimes all of his wives would meet there and eat together, and they would then go back to their homes. He and his wife would sleep in the same bed, he would remove his upper garment, sleeping in only his lower garment. The Prophet used to talk to the wife whose night it was, after praying `Isha' and before he went to sleep. God said,

[لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ]

(Indeed in the Messenger of God you have a good example to follow) [33:21]. God said,

[فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئاً وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْراً كَثِيراً]

(If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and God brings through it a great deal of good.) God says that your patience, which is demonstrated by keeping wives whom you dislike, carries good rewards for you in this life and the Hereafter. Ibn `Abbas commented on this Ayah, "That the husband may feel compassion towards his wife and God gives him a child with her, and this child carries tremendous goodness.'' An authentic Hadith states,

«لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً، إِنْ سَخِطَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا، رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَر»

(No believing man should hate his believing wife. If he dislikes a part of her conduct, he would surely like another.)

Dealing with the Wife's Ill-Conduct

God said,

[وَاللَّـتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ]

(As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct,) meaning, the woman from whom you see ill conduct with her husband, such as when she acts as if she is above her husband, disobeys him, ignores him, dislikes him, and so forth. When these signs appear in a woman, her husband should advise her and remind her of God's torment if she disobeys him. Indeed, God ordered the wife to obey her husband and prohibited her from disobeying him, because of the enormity of his rights and all that he does for her. The Messenger of God said,

«لَوْ كُنْتُ آمِرًا أَحَدًا أَنْ يَسْجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ، لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَةَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِهَا، مِنْ عِظَمِ حَقِّهِ عَلَيْهَا»

(If I were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband, because of the enormity of his right upon her.) Al-Bukhari recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of God said,

«إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ عَلَيْهِ، لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِح»

(If the man asks his wife to come to his bed and she declines, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.) Muslim recorded it with the wording,

«إِذَا بَاتَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ هَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا، لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِح»

(If the wife goes to sleep while ignoring her husband's bed, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning.) This is why God said,

[وَاللَّـتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ]

(As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first)). God's statement,

[وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى الْمَضَاجِعِ]

(abandon them in their beds,) `Ali bin Abi Talhah reported that Ibn `Abbas said "The abandonment refers to not having intercourse with her, to lie on her bed with his back to her.'' Several others said similarly. As-Suddi, Ad-Dahhak, `Ikrimah, and Ibn `Abbas, in another narration, added, "Not to speak with her or talk to her.'' The Sunan and Musnad compilers recorded that Mu`awiyah bin Haydah Al-Qushayri said, "O God's Messenger! What is the right that the wife of one of us has on him'' The Prophet said,

«أَنْ تُطْعِمَهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ، وَتَكْسُوَهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ، وَلَا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْهَ، وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ، وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْت»

(To feed her when you eat, cloth her when you buy clothes for yourself, refrain from striking her face or cursing her, and to not abandon her, except in the house.) God's statement,

[وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ]

(beat them) means, if advice and ignoring her in the bed do not produce the desired results, you are allowed to discipline the wife, without severe beating. Muslim recorded that Jabir said that during the Farewell Hajj, the Prophet said;

«وَاتَّقُوا اللهَ فِي النِّسَاءِ، فَإِنَّهُنَّ عِنْدَكُمْ عَوَانٍ، وَلَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ أَنْ لَا يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ أَحَدًا تَكْرَهُونَهُ،فَإِنْ فَعَلْنَ ذَلِكَ فَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَيْرَ مُبَرِحٍ، وَلَهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوف»

(Fear God regarding women, for they are your assistants. You have the right on them that they do not allow any person whom you dislike to step on your mat. However, if they do that, you are allowed to discipline them lightly. They have a right on you that you provide them with their provision and clothes, in a reasonable manner.) Ibn `Abbas and several others said that the Ayah refers to a beating that is not violent. Al-Hasan Al-Basri said that it means, a beating that is not severe.

So this is clearly explained, but I know that all the haters will still be ignorant, but here Islam encourages good relations between husband and wife!

Answer 2

a note to eguth23. grow up and learn of what you clearly know nothing about. you said: "The reason why Mohammad (s.a.w.) didn't NEED to set an example by hitting his wives, or children, is because they were good, they respected him, and therefor he respected them back. "

Does that means those women who get beaten up by some of those Muslims deserve to beaten!? ouch!! shame on you, blaming the victims. open your eyes, you little one.
You don't know anything about Muhammad or his life or his wives. If you did you would know the story about how Aisha had a fight one time with him about him spending to much time with Maria the Coptic. read the Quran and open your eyes.

Do you know that it is not allowed in Islam to date. Are you having sex with him as well! that is a double wrong in Islam as well. So before you come here talk about what is Islam all about, and how is your good Boy friend the Muslim. Know how he is breaking the rules in Islam with you.

by the way read this, this is what Muhammad did to his favorite wife.
Muslim (4:2127) - Muhammad struck his favorite wife, Aisha, in the chest one evening when she left the house without his permission. Aisha narrates, "He struck me on the chest which caused me pain."

Yes, but only if she doesn't do as he asks. The beating must cease if the woman complies with her husband's demands. Beating is intended to be the last resort, behind verbal abuse and abandonment.

Muhammad, himself, is recorded as physically striking his favorite wife (from her own testimony). It is not known how he treated his less-favored wives.

The Qur'an:
Sura (4:34) - "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great."

Answer 3

i read that it was only when the wife engaged in sexual acts with other men or flirted with them. if a man beats his wife because he doesn't like the way she cooks or something that is not allowed! even if you ask an imam he will say the same thing. and they are not allowed to hit on the face or hard enough to leave a mark! i know a lot of people are going to give me thumbs down for defending it but its not allowing the men to abuse the women. and its a last resort for extreme acts only. it is frowned upon that is why the Prophet (pbuh) did not do it.
this is off topic but there is a law in the bible that says women has to marry a man if he rapes her and he has to pay the father. and that is brushed away by saying it was a different time. thats really not fair. i would think that law was worse. I dont mean that is some kind of competition but how can you point fingers at others while ignoring your own beliefs. i'm not trying to offend or disrespect i'm only trying to make a point. sorry if i offended someone.

Answer 4

What do you mean by this statement: "So this shows that he didn't respect this verse!" !?

Are you saying that Muhammad did not respect his own teaching which was supposedly handed done from God!? How does he want his people to respect his teaching if he does not respect it himself!?

Beating in Islam is allowed, because it is considered as a therapy by the man. He is suppose to teach her how to behave by beating the heck out of her. how pathetic and sad. read the Quran it is all there. don't take my word.

Muhammad owned slaves that is bad enough. Whether he beat them and his wives that is not good enough to praise a person who owned another human being and used them to free his own men, and gave them away as gifts. His his whom he adopted. By the way adoption is illegal in Islam, but when it comes to Muhammad he can break any rules he wish, he is above what he teach his own people. Zaid was a gift from his first wife, a slave, whom Muhammad adopted later on because the boys that were born to him died, and he had to have a son.

Four conditions under which a husband may beat his wife:

Discipline. The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she
disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey.

The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her. These are:
1) not adorning herself when he wants her to;
2) not responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating);
3) not praying;
4)and going out of the house without his permission.

add:
for those who gave me thumb down. You can't handle the truth! then do the reseach for yourself and you will find out that all I post is the truth and nothing but the truth. The truth hurt sometimes, doesn't it!

I am against beating anyone, no matter what their religion, color, creed or whatever. No one is better than anyone else. period.

Answer 5

Beating your wife is allowed in Islam only as a last resort to punish a disobeiedent wife. The first way to punish your wife is to talk to her about her bad deed and if that doesn't work then the next step is to not share the man's bed with the wife. Last is to beat the wife but it can not leave any marks on the wife and it can only be a light tap on the feet or anywhere where the body is covered.

Answer 6

I am not answeing this question, but i will make a comment.

I am a girlfriend/fiance of a man who is muslim. He doesnt practice Islam, but he does believe in it because thats how he was raised. I have to say that he is the most patient, respectable man I have ever met. We have fought (alot!!!!) and he has never raised his hand at me, yelled at me, or "punished" me in any way.
But let me say this too, my mom always brings up the fact that he is middle eastern, and that I am going to be his "doll" to play with when we get married. That he is going to control everything I do blah blah blah. Well first of all, isnt that sort of what a marriage is supposed to be like? The man wears the pants, and takes care of the woman, who in return takes care of their children, and the house that they have both worked for? I think people forgot that about 60 years ago women were JUST LIKE MUSLIM WOMEN. They stayed at home and took care of the children, the had dinner on the table when the husband came home from work... all of this is expected from a muslim wife, and for the most part, it happens.
There are MANY american, european men who have hit their wives, beaten their wives, and even killed their wives. It happens all over the world, no matter what country your in. Its just that Islam says it in the Quran. It says if its the last thing you can do to get her back to her senses, then give her a little tap, thats all. I mean if my husband were to be going crazy and saying stupid **** people would think it was funny if i smacked him..
Anyhow, i could go on forever...
The reason why Mohammad (s.a.w.) didnt NEED to set an example by hitting his wives, or children, is because they were good, they repected him, and therefor he repected them back.
I dunno... i mean like i said, i've never been put in that place where i had to get hit or whatever, and my fiance has never once laid a single hand on me in a bad way, so i dont know what i would do if he would, probably hit him back =P

Answer 7

Since the size of the stick to be used is prescribed in the Qur'an, the implication of dharaba must be taken as beating.

Answer 8

Thanks For Your Question

Well Beating here is just a symbolic beating when prophet Mohamed was asked about this he said beat with a "sewak"
a "sewak" is a small stick not longer than the finger and used to clean the teeth so as you see it is just a symbol

Answer 9

O yes. Beat her all you want. Allah does'nt care. Especially if she does not use her head covering. . . you can also make her sleep out of the bedroom if you want. And if she doesn't let you have another wife, you can go ahead and beat her up too, no problem.

Good Luck ;-)

Answer 10

As long as you hit her with the quran itself, it is ok. Also, as long as she can slam you back with a rock in her veil, its ok.

Answer 11

NO NO NO.... dont use an unclarity in Scripture to justify abusing your spouse

DONT YOU DARE