Just sharing/venting. Am I a fool for keeping in touch with my first love who is now married? He's been married for about 5 years now and has a child. He hasn't told me this, but I know he only married her because he got her pregnant. I had my chance to get back with him years ago, but I wasn't ready. He cheated on me about 7 years ago and I just didn't know if I could trust him after that. When I was ready to tell him that I wanted him back, a week later I found out that his soon-to-be wife was pregnant and they were to be married within weeks. I ran into him recently (weeks ago) and we've both admitted that we still hold strong feelings for one another. But HE'S MARRIED!!! I love him, but I know that I wouldn't want to be the reason for a failed marriage. I have to end communication with him, but I don't want to. I don't see him often. Only telephone communication. How should I end this?
2006-12-30 05:27:41 · 24 answers · asked by Camden 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I really appreciate everyone's responses, but I do feel like I have to defend the situation partially. I am not "seeing a married man". My ex and I have only had a few (3-4) conversations. I am only asking how do I end communication with him. There is no sexual relationship. Nor is there a plan to ruin his marriage. I'm no man-stealer or home wrecker. I do respect us both. This is why I don't want to continue communicating with him.
2006-12-30 06:36:49 · update #1
Don't be a fool. Let it go. If you two were meant to be together, it wouldn't take you trying to break up his current home to do so.
Get this through your head: He's not going to leave his wife.
He has a family and other obligations. And obviously, if he was even worth all the trouble, he wouldn't be having an emotional affair with you.
He is a cheater, you kow this. And now you are encouraging him to cheat on his current wife.
Let it go. It's not worth ruining a child's family life.
2006-12-30 05:33:15 · answer #1 · answered by Chica Creole 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The next time you speak to him, tell him that you realize how continuing this is hurting both his marriage and your life. It is keeping both of you from being honest in your relationships with others, and you should not have to live with lies. Your partners should have all of your heart, not just the left-overs.
Thank him for the memories, and let them become just that. No more "igniting the sparks." Remember, he cheated on you and he's emotionally cheating on his wife by bearing a torch for you. Two time cheater (maybe more)...you don't want him in your life anymore.
Wish him the best, then tell him that you won't take anymore of his calls. He should be focusing on being a father & husband, not a selfish man who wants what he shouldn't have.
2006-12-30 13:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by kaylora 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you should remember and respect that he is married.
Secondly, even if he left his wife and child for you, I don't believe your relationship will work (too much guilt, probably on both sides).
I think you should cease any communication with him, via phone, or any other way. Just make a clean break from this guy and you may want to consider seeing a professional help (shrink) to help you to gain a better prospective on the personal relationships.
Good luck!
2006-12-30 13:35:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lips of an Angel? Quit phoning him and go find a guy of your own. You know how it felt to be cheated on so don't be the other woman now. If they have been together for 5 years now it must be working for them. Leave your history in the past and look into the future. It sounds like you know the right thing to do so JUST DO IT!!!
2006-12-30 13:40:01 · answer #4 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to let him go. If he took the time to do what was right for his child then you should do what is right for you. If he had such strong feelings for you he wouldn't have cheated. What is forbidden always seem finer than what we have. If he does not give his wife the same heart ache he gave you, then they were meant for each other. There are good single men out there, move from the past and find one for yourself- you deserve it. Wishing you the best in the future--trash the past.
2006-12-30 13:36:12 · answer #5 · answered by tenderheart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's still cheating, only now he's cheating on her with you. Something you should ask yourself is - do you love him still, or do you love what you use to have? You may find that if you get back together things are not what they were then.
2006-12-30 13:32:07 · answer #6 · answered by moonshadow 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be a very smart girl...so you know if you keep talking and seeing him will make you fall for him again...so I applaud you for stopping on time..as you seem to be very smart...keep on being and acting like one...stay away as far as you can of this guy...if he someday gets divorced ..don't be you the cause of that... keep walking your own way...sooner or later you'll find your true love... Good Luck!!
2006-12-30 13:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by fun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change your number and end it. Dont be a home wrecker and ruin a childs life.
2006-12-30 13:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by ehrlich 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
listen gurl, u shouldn't waste ur time with a married man. there r so many other better men out there and they're single. just try to think of all the happy things in life and cross out and try to forget about him and u'll be fine.
2006-12-30 13:35:16 · answer #9 · answered by kammmpp 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself: He's MARRIED!!!
Stop obsessing about him; it's keeping you from moving on and finding someone who's right for you. Tell him that you're going to stop phoning him because it's not good for either of you to dwell on the past--and then DO IT.
2006-12-30 13:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by hoptoad 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋