Is the phrase "you obviously don't have children so you don't understand" meant to be a scathing insult?

Answer 1

Hey, we have the same haircut

Answer 2

I think it can be used as an insult. One of my friend thinks because she reads lots of parenting books that she understands the issues of my 2 yr old having problems going to bed, and how I'm a bad person for not being able to snap my fingers to get them to be perfect. If I said it to her, it would be an insult.
However, I have friends that have asked why I dont wear my high heels very often, even though I love them and own many pairs. When I explain that I get a 2yr old and 4 yr old dressed and ready by myself and go up and down stairs carrying one or both of them at times...she goes "so??". It wouldnt be an insult to her, just a simple fact that people's lives are different depending on their different situations.

Answer 3

Not scathing, but there are some things that non-parents don't understand. Until you have a small child depending on you for everything, some things are difficult to comprehend.

Just like I wouldn't completely understand what someone who takes care of an elderly parent goes through as I am not in that position.

Answer 4

Often times it is. I guess part has to do with tonal inflection. I have a friend of mine who has no children, but is very experienced in raising them. Her older stepsister (who is an experienced mother) has a 1 1/2 year old boy who is turning into a spoiled, whiny brat. And any time she tries to give suggestions, she either gets that look, or is told you don't have kids, etc. On the other hand this same friend does not understand some of my view points or why I agree with her parents on some things at certain times. For instance her younger stepsister got a used car for Christmas. And her dad said, Now don't be driving your friends everywhere. My friend didn't like that suggestion, but as a parent I totally understood it. People who use any type of saying to snub me or put me down I just ignore. They aren't worth getting mad over. Some parents think being a parent makes them a know it all. And they are the ones that usually need the help. You just have to remember old hens with chicks cackle a lot but say little.

Answer 5

No it's not! My mother says it to me all the time! "You won't understand what it feels like because you're not a parent yet". And it's true... there are a lot of things you fail to understand just for the fact that you haven't been there at all, someone that hasn't been through a thing cannot and will not understand what that thing feels like. But it can be meant to be an insult if the person you're saying it to can never make babies...

Answer 6

I don't think it's an insult, I think some people that have not had the life experience may not actually understand another person's problems or situation. This is especially true if the non-parent is giving the parent advice.

Think about it this way: if you had 5 years experience at a trade and a layperson made a comment about your trade that was completely usless and stupid- wouldn't you tell them without experience they don't understand?

Answer 7

It's not meant to be a scathing insult. It's just something parents say when they can't think of a better way to express themselves other than to cite the obvious.

Next time someone tells you that just tell them that you were a child once and you do understand. You don't necessarily have to be a parent in order to understand certain things about dealing with a child. Having younger siblings or cousins can give you a perpective on small children.

It's a tough job to be a parent. Many parents are not properly equipped because they expected it to be different or they weren't quite ready to have children. Some people are just not fit to be good parents. They are not patient or don't know how to handle more than one thing at a time.

This is NOT an attack on parents. It's definitely a tough job and a major responsibility but don't just assume that someone without children of their own is incapable of understanding or dealing with child issues.

Answer 8

It's not ment to be an insult, but it is another way of being told "mind your business" Some non-parents have great ideas when it comes to child-rearing, however, some think they have all the answers, and though what has been said is great in theory, reality may be different. Some parents may look at your comment as being judgemental, even if it is w/good intentions. And yes, some parent use it as an excuse.

Answer 9

I have only used that phrase one time and what I meant by it was "you don't have children so stop trying to advise me on something you have no clue about". I do not appreciate it when people who don't have children think they know better what to do with a child than people who do have children. Granted there are exceptions and I know plenty of people who are childless and are wonderful with kids, but they aren't the ones talking out of their @sses telling parents what they should or should not do.

Answer 10

No I think it just points out that one cannot understand what they have not experienced for themselves.
You seem to have a lot of issues with babies, since all of your previous questions relate to this. You know, you don't have to have children, so just get over it and leave the parent types alone.

Answer 11

I've only said it a few time in my life to someone. I never ment it as an insult. It is true though. If you dont have kids you probably dont understand that current issue or situation we are having at the moment