What do you do when a Teenager was told NOT to get a Tattoo but does anyway?

Question

My daughter (18 yr.) mentioned to me; a month ago, that she wanted to get a Tattoo and was told NOT to. Today, she mentioned to me that she got a Tattoo and was highly shocked! and highly mad. What should be the proper punishment?

Thanking you all in advance

Answer 1

Don't worry, just remind her of this when she has kids and goes through something similar. She's 18, and is now a legal adult. She wasn't defying you out of spite, she was just stubborn about this one issue and she will have to live with it the rest of her life. At some point she may regret it or maybe not, but I know it is hard to accept that she thinks she is all grown up.

Answer 2

Punishment? What's the point? No matter what you might do to her as punishment, she cannot have the tattoo removed. What would you be wanting her to atone for? If it's just so that you can "win" this argument with her, then let it go.

She is an adult, and her choice to get a tattoo does not greatly impact your life. If she was doing drugs or getting pregnant, or being lazy and not helping out in the home, then I'd say she needed a swift kick out of the house... but a tattoo? Get over it. It's not like it used to be, where only "bad" people got tat's..

Answer 3

Like most, nothing you can do since she is 18, in our state you can not get a tattoo legally unless your 18. As for punishment, if she is still under your roof and your supporting her 24/7 then I would ground her. Since this is a permanent mark and a daily reminder to you as to how little she respects your authority I would make the punishment to fit the crime. If she drives your vehicles, remove the driving privileges from her. Let her know that by her disregard of your wishes you no longer grant her ANY privileges. Teenagers today think they were put on the earth to worship and use their parents as they wish, parents need to take back control over their own offspring. Maybe if more parents would stand up to their teenagers and regain authority then things like this would not have to be asked as to what punishment is proper.

Answer 4

It sounds like your daughter still lives in your house so she should have respected your wishes and now that she's shown you that she will do whatever she wants then maybe you should consider that the next time she hits you up for some money or a favor. I think my response would be something to the effect of this... "I work hard for my money and my time is precious so, I need some time to think about whether or not I will share it with someone who doesn't respect me or my opinion. My feelings are very hurt by your actions"
Then I'm not sure if in the end I would give in or not but I would just be very matter of fact (non-emotional) in my response and tone then leave the room or change the topic so that they will have to think about it. Maybe you can use this a way to explain why you were so against the tattoo and use it as a tool to get her to listen to and maybe even seek your opinion in the future.

Answer 5

Your daughter is both a legal adult and an irresponsible child. She has the legal right to do whatever she wants with her body, and because she's your dependent, you have to pay for the results if she becomes sick or pregnant. (not that a tattoo would make her pregnant, mind).

You cannot sue the tattoo parlor because she is above the age of consent for personal things like piercings and tattoos.
As for punishing her... unless you're able to enforce restrictions like curfews, her money supply, college, and vehicle privileges, there's not much you can do. Physical discipline is not an option... she can move out at any time if she feels abused.

You could investigate the tattoo parlor (pretending to be a customer?) to make sure all the needles and equipment were autoclaved sterile before use and the ink supplies were fresh. A lot of tattoo parlors don't use individual capsules of ink and inadvertently spread hepatitis, HIV/AIDS and other bodily fluid-borne diseases. There are city/township/county/state regulations for tattoo parlors. Check for violations and report them. You may be saving other people's lives.

I believe the best you can do at this point is make sure she keeps the tattoo area cleaned properly so it heals. Laser surgery is the only permanent tattoo removal, but it is expensive.

Answer 6

Sadly, you're in the middle of two facts, she is 18 and she still lives in your house. Your rules are in force and should apply as long as she lives in your house. Im 21 and still living with my parents and I obey all of their rules even if I disagree. I have a 10:30 curfew. I think if she wants to act like an adult- disobeying your rules- then you should treat her like an adult. Try the following approach: Sit her down with two pens and two pieces of paper. Tell her that you realize she is an adult and obviously makes her own decisions so you are going to treat her like an adult. Go through every bill that you pay that benefits her (mortgage/rent, car notes, food, electricity, cable, and everything else). Divide the total of the bills by the number of adults in the house and tell her she is expected to contribute her portion since she is an adult. If she does not contribute or is late on her monthly donations, she will be evicted. At anytime after the first months bill is paid if she wishes to be a teenager and not an adult she can let you know. Allowance must end AND just because she aids you in the bills does not mean she can disobey your rules. She must come to you as an adult and ask for permission, after all, you are renter your space out to her. This may be a shock to her, but dont yell or scream, welcome her to adulthood with a smile and she if she likes it!

Answer 7

The unfortunate thing about this is that she is now 18, my daughter went against my wishes and behind my back and also got a tattoo when she was 18, but you know what, while I did stress a while about it, God took care of it, a huge growth developed and she had to have it surgically removed. Mom wins again. :-). Don't worry, it will be alright while I don't want her to go through what my daughter went through but as a parent, you know, there are a lot more horrible things she could have done, a tattoo really isn't that serious.

Answer 8

I don't care for tattoos. However, she is now 18 years old. I think at this point there is nothing for you to do, except tell her that you are disappointed in her, especially that she went against your wishes.

I wouldn't punish her. I think the real punishment will be her having to look at the same tattoo for the rest of her life and she may later regret it. I would nicely remind her of that and tell her you feel sorry that she may have to go through a lot of pain to have it removed if she decides she doesn't like it later on.

Answer 9

As she is 18, there is not anything you can do. She has obviously made-up her mind and decided that she wanted one. Punishing her will serve no purpose. Your only option is to ensure she is cognizant of your disappointment and why.

For all those parents with kids who are younger, certain states and provinces have rules about tattoos and age. For instance, the child must be 16 to get one in this province under Canadian law. If a shop gives one without parental consent, you can sue them, not to mention they can be charged.

Answer 10

Is this a joke? Although I disagree that an 18yo should be considered an adult,legally they are. theres nothing you an do,you cant punish her. She made a decision about her body,its done and you have no authority over her. If she's in your home,you could kick her out but why over a tattoo? Its not going to be removed and hopefully it wasnt anything silly she'll later regret,but it might be,her problem,not yours. She went against your wishes but she didnt do anythingwrong. She didnt kill or rape or have an abortion,she got a picture on her body.