my dad says he quit smoking and yet right now hes taking a shower but i can smell ciggeret smoke and i have found ashes and ciggs in the bathroom. should i tell him i know? i dont want him to start again.
2006-12-30 03:48:22 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yes but ask him first don't accuse and tell him you love him and just don't want him to get cancer or emphysema or any of the other lung diseases and then encourage him when he is not smoking even as an adult we need that someone to tell us we are doing a good job good luck
2006-12-30 03:52:19 · answer #1 · answered by katlady927 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know you know, but I recommend not using a direct, bold confrontation. Rather, how about approaching dad later (not when he just finished a puff), give him a special look (whatever that is for you two)(maybe raise one eyebrow a little), and say something like, "Dad, about the cigarettes,keep on trying I know you'll get there if you don't give up". The special look will indicate you know his battle isn't over, his guilt is already in place (or he wouldn't be hiding at home) and he'll hear you loud and clear. Using tact allows dad to save some face, perhaps come a little cleaner with you (admitting something about his addiction or his efforts to quit), and, mainly, feel some respect (which he might feel deficient in because of this skulking around to smoke).
Your indication or suggestion that you know what he's up to will be a slap to him, but tact promotes the respect which will allow dad to more easily 'step up to the plate' and perhaps be candid and straightforward with you.
It's not a happy thing, trying to control an addiction, hiding from family and covering up while trying to cope with the problem; it's a tough space to be in. He must have a lot of self-defeating thoughts troubling his peace of mind. Be gentle (while carrying that big stick).
Best wishes (get dad to take a multi vitimin with a lot of Bs)
2006-12-30 04:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a little how you feel. When I found out my mom use to smoke it was hard on me to. The one thing that Ithink is diffrent in or storys is my mom had my Dad who would not marrier till she stoped he helped her the whole way. I think that is kinda what you need to do. Yes you should ask him if he is continuing but dont bring up the smell ashes or any of that unless he denies it. Bringing that up will only put him on the defence. After confrunting him you should start to help him. Now that you know that is har for him you might have to become the biger person and grow up faster then you would like. I would suggest keeping him under servalence. EX. tell him in the morning that you will be geting home at this time and that he should be home at this time. Now the less time you give him to himself would be better but dont make it like a punishment sit and talk.you could also ask his coworkers to help out and watch him while he is at work and while he is just hanging out with them. I you could trust them with that then you would not have to watch over him 24 / 7.
I know i have said a lot and I hope it helps. It might be a hard thing to help him over come but he will feel more obligated to quite if you are there the whole time.
2006-12-30 04:06:08 · answer #3 · answered by servevolleygal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats your problem with him smoking you should tell him and acept whether he smokes or not, if you tell him you want him to stop smokeing than it will make both of you feel terible when he smokes again, and he will because no one can give up smoking
2006-12-30 03:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when ever near him talk about the bad impressions of smoking like one cigarate has 3000 cancer causing chemicals and that it takes 10 years to fix one year of smoking
2006-12-30 07:14:06 · answer #5 · answered by Ahmad B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are concerned about his health and you don't want him to get cancer, and that you need him in your life, and you want him to be healthy to see you grow up and suceed in life and you want him to share those moments with you. I smoked, and when my first kid was born, out went the smokes and my life has been committed to them, i need to be around for them..
2006-12-30 03:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you know. try to force him to get some nicoderm patches and break all of his ciggs. get some sunflower seeds. those really help smokers. also get some gum. hope this helps and good luck :)
2006-12-30 03:52:36 · answer #7 · answered by believeinwishes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah,,tell him you smelled the smoke.
2006-12-30 03:50:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to stop smoking...Im 34 and been smoking since I was 13.......worst drug Ive ever been addicted to.
2006-12-30 03:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by J.B.1972 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you know and stay on him if you really want him to quit.
2006-12-30 03:51:30 · answer #10 · answered by sariabeauty 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋