how do i get closure....?

Question

my cat died very sadly last year on newyears eve from a intestinal bacteria. most people miss there animals very much but i cant even look at a picture of him without crying or talk about him he was like my child i beuried him in a wonderful place and have done everything he would have wanted but i cant seem to accept the fact hes not here newyears is around the corner im dredding the evening because its actually a year since his gone and i dont know how i will go another year without him this one was not easy.. ive tried counselling but im ok when im not hom but the small things he did the memories are always around me that is when i constantly think about him and get soooo upset he came into my life at such a lonely time for me and brought me all the happiness in the world(bless him) what can i do to make it easier...

Answer 1

I confess, I cried like a baby when one of my cats died from what was probably intestinal cancer- and I have yet to forgive that quack calling himself a vet that kept insisting that, "Aww- He's just addled."

It's normal to grieve. Especially around the holidays. And you will probably continue to for a while longer.

I'm not going to suggest getting another kitten: Right now, you would probably feel like you are somehow betraying your kitty. But have you considerred volunteering at a local animal shelter so you could perhaps help some other kitty? And yes, think about the happiness your friend brought you. He would want that. And continue with the counselling: Right now, you seem to need that a lot.

Feel better.

Answer 2

I lost both my cats this year within a few months of each other. Every time I come home to my empty apartment I want to cry. I used to burst into tears, but its getting better. These two rescued me from a very lonely time as well. Every night I wake up wondering why they are not on my bed, and then I remember they are gone. Let your heart continue to grieve, everyone heals at a different pace. Then go to a local shelter and get to know the cats there. You will never replace the one you lost, but one of them may find a new place in your heart. Bless you and I hope you feel better.

Answer 3

i absolutly feel your pain. most would say get another, but they do not relize the depth of grief. i lost three cats last year. i had five cats and me. no husband no close family and no children. these cats were my life. it has been 10 months for 2 and about eight months for the other. do not want to rehash details, coz i too still cry every night and cannot get over the loss. i go to the animal shelter and volunteer and i do one at a time foster in my apartment. it is hard to give up the fosters, but nothing compares to the pain i go through daily from losing my babies. God told me though, it is not in vain. he will use me to help many unwanted, sick or stray animals til a forever mommy comes along. this has helped me so much and helped the poor cats as well. loosing my cats has taught me how to say goodbye to the foster cats. Another life lesson i learned from my beloved cats. They taught me about unconditional love, friendship, compainionship and responsibility. now, they have toaght me how to say goodbye. I do not have an answer for you, wish I did. I just cry and pray. I also try to make good out of it. Maybe God wanted to open your heart and home for room for another one. My beloved Gentry was a stray that was partially blind and very ill when i got him. i promised i would care for him always and when he went away, i felt like a failure. i will never get over it. well, and who says you have to? if you need to grieve for awhile it's ok. i know now though, that when i take on the task of another pet, the day will come to say goodbye. it will come, no matter how much we pretend it won't. i wish you well and i will pray for you. i am living with your pain.

Answer 4

Get another cat. He won't replace all that you had with the first one but in time it will lessen your pain and you will come to love and adore this animal as well. Plus there are alot of homeless kitties that could use a good home, and it sounds like you provided that for your cat. So go and make yourself feel better by adopting one from a local shelter. You'll be saving his/her life and that always feels good.

Answer 5

Have you considered getting another pet?

When my cat passed away, I went through the same thing you are going through. It was SO rough dealing with the fact that he was gone. I did get a new kitten after a few months of mourning, and the joy she brought to my life helped me to stop feeling pain for my old cat who had passed away.

I never will forget my other cat, and my new cat was in no way a replacement for the old cat, but she helped me to see that I could move on and realize that my other cat was no longer in pain, and in a better place.

Answer 6

Some of us bond more with our pets than others can imagine. To cry for your cat off and on for a year or more is not unhealthy.
It means that you had something very, very wonderful and now it's gone forever. How can you just get closure? There will never be another time that someone like your cat will come into your life at it's low point and rescue you from your deep loneliness.
So now it's time that you help some other creature like your cat helped you. You can do it as a testiment to his love and your love and how great it was for you and for him. Save some poor lonely creature from their loneliness and suffering. It will repay you with unimaginable riches. And helping to heal the suffering of another, whether it is a cat or a kid, will help you heal yourself.
I am suffering from the loss of a pet too right now and I totally am in the grips of deep pain over it. I cry and cry and ache and ache, but the truth is I had something terrific and now it's gone. I must try to help someone who has never had such a great love as mine was. I too will rescue some poor creature to try to do my best to heal their emptyness and in so doing heal myself.
God Bless you for feeling and loving so deeply. Now just do it again but for them, not just for you.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry you lost your little friend. I understand how you feel. I lost my little dog many years ago. I cried over her for a long time and every Christmas when I hung her special ornament. You might consider getting another cat. A new one won't replace your baby, but it will open up a new place in your heart. As the new place grows, it might help heal the hole your cat left.

Answer 8

You will NEVER get over it; just used to it. Get another cat from the shelter. Its obvious you are a caring cat person. My brothers cat Stimpy is 13 and this is what he says to people. He MUST know what he's doing because his vet says that cat is the healthiest one he's seen.

Answer 9

look you will never forget him, so don't even try. just sit down and talk to him, i know it sounds weird but try it. do your crying, and try to fill the void. get a new cat, dog,bird,reptile. anything.

look feeling the way you do is natural, but just think, would he want you to be afraid to go home. you say he saved you, would you want someone you saved to just give up.

there are a lot of animals that need your love too.

Answer 10

I am so sorry for your loss. I know this will be hard but, your cat "rescued" you. Why don't you rescue another cat?