My boyfriend had recently quit cocaine.
I love him more than anything, we were talking about getting married, I might be pregnant. I love him and want to help him thru this. But when he is putting me off to get a high, i get so mad,and disappointed in him. He is a wonderful person and I know that he is better than this. I feel that if I stay by his side he will see that I do love him. I have never done so much as an unsubscribed pain pill. I've been drunk once in my life and I have never been high on weed. Nothing of the sorts. I told him last night when he got off the phone he said I Love you and i didn't say it back, all i said was prove it, and he sighed and said i'm sorry, i will. This is the last time. Thing is two days ago he swore and promised he wouldn't do it. I was always taught by my family to stand by your man. And that's like my anthem. I just need advice. Am i wrong for wanting to stand by him and help him with his addiction, because some people change.?
2006-12-30 02:23:14 · 19 answers · asked by Fresca Jesca 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well when people quit they go through withdrawl and are likely to start using again. You need to stay by his side because you can help to make him stronger. Let him know daily that you love him and he can get through it. He if wants a future with you hopefully he could quit but sometimes an addiction can rule their lives. If you notice that he is having a hard time quiting or claims that he needs coke or that he can't stop, you need to step in and stop it for him. Get him checked into rehab immediately. Stand by his side because you love him you only want the best for him. If you leave he will continue to use and may never stop or worse hurt himself. I hope everything goes well.
2006-12-30 02:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by Mandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might not be the answer you wanted, but break up with him. Six billion fish in the sea. You caught one. Fishy had a problem, you tried to help him. If he hasn't changed now, he never will no matter how much you want him to, so if it is as big of a deal to you as you say it is, and it definitely should be, I think it's time to throw him back into the sea and catch a new fish. You're sure to find someone right for you eventually, and, I hate to say it, this guy doesn't sound like the one. Time to end it. You're sixteen, you don't need this ****. He had his chance, he blew it. Since he picked the drugs over you, you might as well give him what he wants.
2016-03-29 00:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are wrong this time. He is not going to kick this habit easily. Cocaine is one of the hardest habits to break. You will hear every time how he loves you and he is sorry and he will never do it again and how badly he feels about hurting you by going and doing it again. The saddest thing I have ever been through is when one of my ex's had a cocaine habit and I truly believe he wanted off the stuff, I stood by him for a year and he even went 2 1/2 months off the stuff, I was there through his detox and everything, then he got right back on it. I had to end that relationship because it was very unhealthy. I had known this man for 13 years we had dated 13 years ago then I got back with him 12 years later, well, I thought I could help him off of it and you really cant. He went through treatment and everything. The best thing you can do is tell him one more time and your done. And then stick to that. It will not be easy but, do you want your baby growing up to a dad who is more interested in cocaine than them? get rid of him and stay rid of him. He is not going to change anytime soon all he is going to do is cause you much unneeded stress..
2006-12-30 02:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people do change, but others don't.
Ask yourself this: Does he really want to quit? Or is he just doing it for you?
If he really wants to quit, then by all means, help him get the assistance that he needs. The thing that you need to remember, though, is that you can't do it on your own. Drug addictions can be very hard to beat, and he probably needs professional help.
However, you also need to recognize that no amount of professional help is really going to work for him if he himself does not want to quit. If he is quitting just for you, it will be half-hearted and short-lived. It will become a source of resentment for him, and a source of suspicion and frustration for you. If this is the case, then you need to get out, especially if you are pregnant. That is NOT the sort of person that you want your baby growing up with.
Good luck
2006-12-30 02:29:20 · answer #4 · answered by wnk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I daited a guy with a drug addiction and I loved him more than anything too. But then I tried to make him stop the drugs and and it didn't work so instead I decided that I had to let him go or else he would get him and I into alot of trouble and I couldn't let that happen so I packed all my stuff and left. If I were u I would take him to a rehab centre. Good luck to u both.
2006-12-30 02:29:02 · answer #5 · answered by Steph1490 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can stand by and try to help him but only stick around if he looks like he's making progress. He has to be able to recognize he has a problem and want to fix it as bad as you do and just because he says it doesn't mean he means it. Read his actions, not his words. Once there's a child involved you have to get serious and say is this worth hurting your child over? If the child comes and he's still doing drugs I would have to say you give him an ultimatum: his child or drugs.
2006-12-30 02:29:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not wrong to stand by him and support him. Help might be what he needs. I can tell you that if he quits because of you he will not stay off drugs. It will be inevitable that one day you will say or do something to upset him and he might then go out and get stoned just to get back at you. You need to help him realize that he has to quit for himself and stay clean for himself and then he will have a much greater chance of staying clean.
Support your man but know when to let go.
2006-12-30 02:28:06 · answer #7 · answered by waitingnervously 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cocaine is a powerful drug. It consumes a person on it to where nothing else matters. You should get away from him. If he truely wants a life with you he will clean up if he doesnt have you. If you stay by his side he will continue to do coke because he knows he can. Think!
2006-12-30 02:30:59 · answer #8 · answered by L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will need support to get through this. don't leave him.
i don't care what anyone else here says. my first boyfriend was addicted to weed and alcohol, granted not as bad as cocaine but just hear me out. it started out with both of us just playing around, but for both of us it turned into something much more serious. i started with pills, it didn't matter what it was or how much, i didn't even know half the time what they were, it got to the point that i was carrying a pdr with me all the time to see what the effects of multiple drugs would do. then i tried to kill myself and got over it. the whole time he was like these are hard drugs you NEED to stop and i didn't listen until i got locked up.
he just continued with the weed and the alcohol because he didn't think they were that big of a deal. he started ignoring me to get high. it got to the point where we were breaking up every time he got drunk. once he got drunk and told me he had sex with someone else, and i found out later it wasn't true, but either way he lied. the last time we broke up it was because he was going to a party and he wanted to screw around and party and he knew i wouldn't put up with it.
so we broke up and i didn't handle it well, i was doing everything i could get my hands on just to forget the pain. i must have lost 2 thousand dollars that summer. he was still partying, but then we ended up back together (not officially but we were doing the exculsive dating thing) after i turned 18. (my parents wouldn't let me talk to him because of the drugs, it wrecked my relationship with him and them). i told him to quit the drugs, once in a while fine cuz i was doing it too but he never did. so i left him. i quit the drugs (it's been over a year now) but he never did. he got worse and worse and would call me drunk in the middle of the night either cussing me out or crying about how sorry he was. he got worse and worse and worse until his brother got arrested for heroin and that straightened him up somewhat.
i think that if i stayed with him i would still be doing the drugs, so that is good on my end, but if i was there to talk to him when he was upset he wouldn't have went off the deep end. when i left him, i seriously walked away and never looked back. we talk now because we both grew up, but i think he is still on the weed and alcohol especially when he hangs out with the people we used to do it with. i just heard he tried to kill himself. i don't know if it's true, i can't get ahold of him.
my point is, you should be there for him, even if you don't want to be with him. tell him that you can't be in a relationship with him because of the drugs but you can be there to support him while he gets over it so you can have a relationship in the future. if you just walk away he will get a million times worse. not that it's your fault but it's how he handles it.
2006-12-30 02:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being an ex drug user myself, I can tell you if he doesn't want to change then you won't change him and if he doesn't change then you need to go on without him in your life or you will be brought down with him and its a long road back up! put your foot down, do what is going to be right for you in your future.
2006-12-30 02:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by fman440 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋