Last night i asked to meet my boyfriend for a drink after only seeing him about 3 days in two weeks. He was trying to change it then and wanted to see me Sat instead. So i said it was important and we had to talk. He's let me down in the past about marriage, a house etc. It hurt. I felt he had to gain my trust again, but he doesn't see why i should be hurt. I feel as if he doesnt want those things with me. Lately, he's hardly text or called me and i felt very unloved, i couldnt eat or sleep. So speaking to friends they said 'Maybe ending it will give him the kick up the bum he needs, and if he loves you he will come back'. So i thought its what i had to do to save us, it was the hardest thing in my life. He is a good man, and i love him with all my heart, and he tells me the same. It broke my heart seeing him cry when i told him the news, he said he just doesn't know how to prove that he does love me and want everything with me. We cried together, and we went our ways. Im lost! Help!
2006-12-30 01:54:40 · 21 answers · asked by Kay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you really love him call him right away, and talk with him, tell him you made a real mistake about breaking off with him, tell him your sorry but you are insecure sometimes and that is what happen, if he really loves you he will be back, and nexr time don't listen to your friend unless you talk to him first. good luck and have faith.
2006-12-30 01:59:06 · answer #1 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ending a dream is not easy.. there are always the what-ifs that come after.
If he was truly slacking in helping your dream become a reality, then this will give him a chance to sink or swim.
It is good for you to give him some room. He must ask himself is life better with or without you.
You want the truth and when you are so close in a relationship, sometimes you do not see everything.... Being outside the box for a bit will make things clearer. You can evaluate and look at the truth of the relationship and where it is headed... Do not talk yourself into anything and do not fool yourself. Be truthful and look clearly.
You do not want to end up with a slacker .. You are looking for the security and knowledge in a partner who seeks the same dream as you....
This is a time for doing some me work, a little pampering. time with best gf's and some self improvements... You have a break here and some breathing room. Make the best of the time, do not sit around and mope.
If he is truly the one and you are truly his love, there will be no problem. If it goes the other way, then you will know that you were barking up the wrong tree......and that he was not sincere....
Go get busy... no phoning, texting, nothing... let it ride....
He needs to come to you..... and be ready to take the next step.....
2006-12-30 10:06:29 · answer #2 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey i did a very similar thing not long ago. It does hurt to know you've broken someone elses heart. But your friends are right, he needs a kick up the bum and has to realise that every now and again we girls need reminding that they love us.
It's obvious he loves you, but maybe just having a break will help cool off the friction you both seem to be having at the moment. If he loves you, he will try and get you back, but realise that if he doesn't attempt to, it might not be because he doesn't have any feelings for you, it might simply be because he doesn't know if you want him back, so maybe, if you talk to him, you might be able to sort some kind of difference out between you two.
2006-12-30 10:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to him!
Only, please stop fighting about getting married.
There's no point marrying a guy who's not ready for it. Take my word for it.
Marriage is not everything, and when it ends, you wish you never had got into it.
Maybe you've never been married before and it's why it's such a big deal to you, but honestly, it's not.
What's more important, that you carry his name, make sure he's your's till death does you apart and so on..? Surely it's not a death sentence.
So, wait till the time is right; Your chances of having a happy and solid marriage will be bigger.
Don't make the mistake into pressurizing a guy into marriage or leaving him because he's not ready.
It's such a big commitment, and it is scary.
Go find him if you really love him and enjoy everyday;
Surely he'll see for himself that he actually doesn't want to run the risk of losing you, or wants you for ever or whatever gives him the desire to commit.
Good luck.
2006-12-30 11:19:02 · answer #4 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the main point here is that you can't change someone. You have to be happy loving them for who they are or you have to end it (yes even if you love them cause you may never be happy). People show their love in different ways. Sometimes men find it hard to express themselves or don't understand why you would be upset if he doesn't text you enough. Only consider getting back together if you want to continue in the same kind of relationship as before. Good luck.
2006-12-30 10:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't say how long you were with him but from what you have written it seems like a teenagers romance! By that I mean that you seem to be doing this because you were not the centre of attention!
You either talk to him and resolve this now or you risk delaying it and making things worse. Have you seen the film the Breakup with Jennifer Anniston? She does exactly what you are doing and breaks up with her boyfriend just to teach him a lesson but it backfires! Beware!!
You should not listen to your friends and do what is right for you.
2006-12-30 10:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by REBECCA S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't understanding. Are you crying because your happy? You said "he's let you down about marriage, a house, etc" so you should feel good about giving yourself a chance to find someone that just might fulfill your dreams. It's almost a new year so move on with your life and get everything you deserve.
2006-12-30 10:03:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always two sides of the stories when it comes to friendship and relationship.how you sure you are out-rightly doing the correct thing in bluffing him off?Your friends will always support you.If you do love him and see a light at the other side of the tunnel, then waste no time in rectifying the situation before it gets out of hand
2006-12-30 10:30:12 · answer #8 · answered by wise5557 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds that you are very much in love but not making eachother happy. Write a list of the for's and agains't and work out where the problems are. You need to be really honest with yourself and eachother.
I hope that you work it out... best of luck
2006-12-30 10:02:36 · answer #9 · answered by treacle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finally, some guy who shows emotion.
if you feel it's the right thing, get back with him. Once you two are together again, I suggest you form a list of "promises," which you can use to back up your break-up next time, if it ever comes.
2006-12-30 10:00:34 · answer #10 · answered by millegas08 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋