ive been with my boyfriend 13 months and i really wanted to spend new yrs eve with him when we talked about it a few weeks back he said he wanted to go clubbing with his mates and now his mate has tickets for the club i asked him why cant i come and he said he just wants a boys night, also his mates are not what i'd call loyal friends,so anyway i think he cant love me if he would rather spend new yrs with his mates than me. i finished with him last night i made up my mind that he obviously dont care that much for me.i really love him but dont think he feels the same,am i being too hard on him or making the right choice?
2006-12-30 01:43:25 · 36 answers · asked by nikki 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
to all of you who answered saying give him space,well i only see him 2 times a week as we live far but he goes out every weekend with his mates so its not like i stop him
2006-12-30 02:14:53 · update #1
maybe this man really does love you and you just don't know it
2006-12-30 07:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you're making the right choice, he doesn't even care how u spend your new years eve it would be the same thing if it was your birthday!! or some special event, He doesn't acknowledge your feelings like he should, he is very selfish. He think more of his boys and their feeling than yours. You're his mate, can they give him the love, and affection that u give him? Does he prefer their company over yours? that sounds like a big yes. he rather go to the club and chase skirts and act the fool with them. Sorry, to say he doesn't particularly want to hang out with u, he feel that he'd have more fun with them be in a boy, if u get my drift.
I know a guy that's really into his girl would care how his girl feel and if she'd be having a good time on this holiday. U definitely did the right thing, be strong. If he doesn't come back on his own accord (not u calling or chasing him) he didn't deserve u any way move on its a new year. don't get stuck in, I'm comfortable with this person and I've invested so much time in this. Better get out now and waste no more of your valuable time. There is a man that will appreciate u, and be rational and sense-able about these things. ---So, Keep your head up--
2006-12-30 01:57:21 · answer #2 · answered by Nedda 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Strangely enough I think you did the right thing.
Sometime a guy does need space to realize what he's missing out on.
It might take him some time, but this will certainly help him make his mind about his feelings about you.
I agree with you totally. I think that there is only just one day of new year each year, and it happens to be very special.
Ok, you may well want to be with your mates, but surely, when the clock does strike twelve, you want to kiss YOUR GF.
He's either terribly selfish, or he has something up his sleeve.
So, you definitely made the right decision.
Only, be aware that with that type of guys, they don't respect weak females. So if you say yes, and go back first and say yes, you'll whatever small respect he had or has for you.
Do let him come back.
Good luck, and happy new year!x
2006-12-30 03:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Woah woah woah, firstly, everyone is entitled to a night out with their friends, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go but friends stay forever, although you did mention that they're not loyal, maybe hes trying to fix the friendship with his mates?
Okay secondly, what was his reaction to the break up? Did he seem hurt? sometimes people don't show how they feel simply because they either haven't found a way or they think you know and don't bother reminding you.
Whether you made the right choice or not i have no idea, i mean i don't see the harm in letting him go out with his mates personally, but if you really believe he doesn't have feelings for you then fair enough i guess.
A new year, a new start as i say.
2006-12-30 01:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If u really love him enuff...i'm a guy. u shud let him go ( i mean set him free) it just for the new year's night....not the end of days. tru love will always come back and u'll need to learn how to be patient (dignity) i mean trust because he has actually told u in advance that he'll be going clubbing with his friends and not for xmas but....u shud go to church or something on new years eve. If u're worried about him been loose on that night probably with girls...the worry would affect u and u've to kno if he's the type of a loose guy from when u started dating. all these things wudn't make you go froward in life. GOODLUCK &
have a nice day.
2006-12-30 02:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by Lloyd HOUZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait and see if he comes back after the new year. If you go back now it will make you look like a spoilt child and one with egg on her face as he didn't cancel for you. At the time it felt right for you - arrange a girly night out for new year and try not to stress over it
After you additional info - I think you should end the relationship. If you are only seeing him twice a week he should be raring to see you
2006-12-30 01:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he wishes to go clubbing why should you object? Maybe he hasn't done this in a long time and maybe he and his friend decided to do this some time back and maybe he just forgot to tell you. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love or care about you. Remember, you are not his wife and he doesn't have to spend every holiday with you if he doesn't want to do this. He did tell you ahead of time he wanted to be with his friends so it is not like you didn't know or that he kept it from you. I think you may be being too harsh with him but if you want to break it off then do so but do it for the right reason not because he wants to be with his friends on one New Years Eve.
2006-12-30 01:50:17 · answer #7 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Nikki, if your BF truly loved you, there is no way on earth he'd be spending New Year's Eve with anyone other than you. I'm sorry he turned out to be such a lousy BF, but you have made a very wise decision.
Some people are saying you should give him space, and let him go out with his friends, but anyone on a loving relationship with someone knows that holidays are special, and are meant for couples to spend together. He could go out with his friends and other night. People who don't understand that have never been involved in a real relationship.
2006-12-30 01:50:52 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It might be difficult not to spend New Years without him but you are without question making the right choice. He's can't really care for you very much if he'd rather spend time with his guy friends. Good move and best of luck. If he calls you again tell him you think he's gay and you need to be with a real man that would rather be with a woman than his friends.
2006-12-30 01:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
honny, what would you say if you and your friends were going for shopping and your bf asked you to go with him somewhere?
It was not his plan alone, his friends are there too! For going with you, he would have to ruin the plan of all of them. I don't say he's right, but he is not totally wrong too! Its something like peer pressure. Maybe that he feels you are understanding and thats why he told you everything. Are you in LOVE with this person? If not, then you can get someone else if you are not satisfied with him. But if you do love him, give him some space..boys get irritated if we want to keep them under our hand.
2006-12-30 01:51:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, I really don't think you are being unfair at all. He obviously is not ready for a commitment. I know you love him, but I would end it, at least for now, and just wait and see what happens. Go out with some friends, and have a good time without him, unless he changes his mind. You did the right thing!
2006-12-30 02:03:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋