I am the only child home now. I just turned 18. When I wake up and I have done nothing wrong, I get called dumb and stupid for just having the cordless phone in the bed. I get called ignorant all time. I just want to leave. but I have one more year in high shool. I have to beg to go places with my boyfriend, like I have given them a reason not to trust me. I am so unhappy here. I try to read the bible and my mom tells me that I am the devil, so put the bible down. She talks to me like I am nothing, I just want to make something out of my life so I can leave here and never come back. She puts me down and tell me that I'm not going anywhere. I could go on and on, but its not enough space. I have good times too. But when this happens it gets unbearable. What should I do?
2006-12-30 01:09:38 · 12 answers · asked by GG 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my parents are the SAME way. but i am 17. you have age on your side, move out. you can move out any time you want if you are 18. maby get a job and rent a place, or move in with a good freind. i just have one more year of hell to go, then i will be out forever.
2006-12-30 03:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so very, very sorry that you have to deal with this type of junk. First, please know that you are NOT "dumb" or "stupid", nor are you the "devil." Your parents are emotionally abusing you, most likely because they were emotionally abused when they were kids (or their just plain mean). Every time this happens go straight to a mirror and look yourself in the eye and say "I am somebody. I am beautiful. I am worthwhile. And I will make a difference in this world someday." Walk away as soon as the abuse starts. Just get up and walk away. Don't engage your parents in this type of behavior any longer. Now concentrate and focus on your school work this final year. Study hard and meet with your counselor to determine a career path that is best suited for you. Be ready a year from now to get out of that house (either college or a good job...). And remember this... do not have children until you know deep in your heart that you will never repeat the abuse your parents have inflicted on you. Never, ever! Parenthood is HARD and we do what we know. You MUST break the chain of abuse. My very best wishes to you. Please take good care.
2006-12-30 01:29:49 · answer #2 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had that before i moved out. I am 19 now and still struggling with it. do you have a job? move out. on your own or with other family. I mean 18 does mean you can do whatever you want. and I am sure that you are not the devil or stupid or all the other re-tared stuff your parents say to you. and if you have no where to go, just deal with it. put up a wall and remember you've made it threw 18 years what is one more. you've got to find the strength inside you. you are beautiful. i know this. because everyone is. one way or another but i remember plenty of time when my mom would tell me I sucked or I was fat or stupid and in my head I would tell myself. "she is so full of it. I am so beautiful, and smart. she is just jealous that I am going to go farther in life than her." just tell yourself good thing when your parents go on about how they think you suck. I know it is hard when it comes from your parents but sometimes our parents are shitty people too. as much as we don't want to admit it, they are.
2006-12-30 01:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry to hear that but don't think you all by your self, there are even other youths else where who go through much more than you do. its high time you talked to your family, ask them what wrong you have done and what makes them be rude to you. make sure you are honest enough to make them understand just how hurt and disappointed you are about the treatment they are giving you and above all, pray everyday believing that God has a very wonderful purpose and plan for your life.i wouldn't advise you to take up any action that might just lead to alot more trouble, just study real hard to achieve your goals with bright colors, do something that might give you the happines you want and deserve and believe me no body will ever call ya 'dumb or ignorant' again. take care.
2006-12-30 01:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by Jayd 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you have a job? Do you have anything in savings? What about your boyfriend? If your boyfriend has a place, he should have NO problems with you going to live with him IMO.
I know it is hard, but try to deal with your mom for a little bit longer. At least until you graduate. Do you have a college set up yet?
Since you are 18 she really cannot dictate to you when and where you can go with your boyfriend BUT as long as you are living there I'd try to not rock the boat like that. She sounds like someone who would not react well to a good long sit down chat with you about her behavior.
You could always go to your guidance counselor in school. Ask him/her if they could find anything to help you at least until you graduate. (this happened to someone I know in a bad family situation. counselor helped find someone to help them out and they've been close ever since!)
I wish you good luck. Keep your chin up!
2006-12-30 01:31:06 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you are going through that abuse. Your mother sounds like she has some serious issues and she is taking it out on you. I would stand up to her and if she lays one hand on you call the police and have her arrested. She is verbally abusing you and that in unacceptable. Tell her you are not going to take her abuse anymore. Then tell relatives what she is doing. Maybe one of your relatives will let you live with them. You sound like you have your head on straight. Don't you believe anything your mother is calling you. It is her crap not yours. She has serious mental problems and she could have been arrested if you where younger than 18. Stand up to her and let her know you are not going to take her abuse. Please do that and keep your self repect before she strips it from you. Don't let her play with your self-esteem and self-confidence. Good luck kiddo and I hope nothing but the best for you. You could tell a local chruch what is going on too.
2006-12-30 01:26:45 · answer #6 · answered by Rosa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just listen and dont talk back you are welcomed into my club called the black sheep use all of that negative and make it into a positive dont let your mom fool you into thinking that you arent nothing because you are someone very special keep reading your bible and pray for her prayer changes things and always know that GOD loves you even in a time like this and no one can replace GOD presence from your life become all that you want dont keep pondering on all the bad names ive been there and im still my mother black sheep when you get your own place just do your self a favor and have a nice lunch w/her you know when things are going good and tell her all of the pain you felt and whatever the out come is tell her that you love her for making you the black sheep i had to do it to my mom when i got grown and she didnt admit to all of the cruel things she said she didnt remember because she was on drugs but i did and when i let go of all that hurt to this day there is nothing she can say that will bring tears to my eyes because GOD has blessed me to finish school a good job a nice home and kids of my own to love the way i wanted to be loved but i think my mom treated me like dirt because i look so much like my dad and after they seperated is when she begin to be abusive mentally and physically and i think that because i was a daddy's girl she felt like i was a threat to her but i love my daddy to this day may he rest in love good luck
2006-12-30 01:42:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need your own space.
Since you are in high school and live at home.
It doesn't work to move out.
And don't do anything stupid like get pregnant to get away from it.
You are worth more than that.
What, you have six months to go before you graduate?
Take it one day at a time.
The Marines in Iraq do 12 months on tour and they can get killed any day.
You can last six months.
Count them down.
When you graduate, form a plan to live.
That includes college.
So you need to be able to work, study, and be a person that helps others.
Let me know.
2006-12-30 01:30:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you think your life is miserable now just wait until you have to be out here in the real world it is not as nice as it may seem to you right now . you will get treated like crap and talked to like that by people who dont give a crap about you . then have to go home and make sure you have food rents paid electrics paid water is paid all bills are paid and if your lucky have enough left over to have a little fun with .your still at home take advantage of people still taking care of you while you can. yes you may have to deal with your parents but your parents also have to deal with you and if you are reading the bible you should know that you should respect them and there is a aseason for everything look at the suffering job went through just because god wanted to test him
2006-12-30 01:23:11 · answer #9 · answered by tnt 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
if you are unhappy living there moving is your only option how about university you can live in the rooms there and further your education at the same time. the bank will lend you money to do your courses. or become a live in nanny they get paid ok and have a roof over there heads.
2006-12-30 01:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by NICOLA G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋