Adults only Advice needed?

Question

I am a guy who is 24 years old, and still a virgin, because I am saving myself for marriage. The thing is it has put me off going on dates, because I worry when I do get a girlfriend and I tell her that I want to wait until after we are married to have sex she might not want to be with me anymore. The only reason I worry about this is the way today’s society is obsessed with sex, and I don’t want to risk getting hurt if when I do get a girlfriend and tell her she might not want to wait because she likes sex to much, or she might cheat on me because she has given up waiting. So is what I feel normal, and what do I do? It would also be nice to know if a girl would be willing to wait? Or would you say no and end the relationship?

Answer 1

Ermmm

How the hell do you expect to get married if you won't date women?

Seems to me you are saving yourself for something that isn't likely to happen

Answer 2

Fella there are girls out there that will wait with you but Why would you refrain from sex at all till then, how do you know without practise that you have the right technique? It isn't as if a girl will find out if you are a virgin or not as blokes don't have tell tale signs. You could have it every night and still tell your intended your a virgin, A girl who saves herself doesnt have the same luxury, once its gone its gone... Half the time sex isnt the be all and end all, it is nice occassionally, Glad I didnt wait till I was married as I was 31 and then SEX wasnt important to her in a relationship so we didnt do it ...think I can count on my fingers over 5 years how often we did it.. Think about it but at the end of the day the choice is yours

Answer 3

If the girl isn't prepared to wait until marriage then shes not worth bothering with, its as simple as that, don't change your ways simply because your girl might have different beliefs to yours.

You're better off finding someone who is a virgin and believes that no sex until marriage is the right idea.

You're only 24, still young, in this generation people aren't getting married until thier 30's so don't start thinking you have no chance in finding someone in your life.

I know that the percentage of people who wait til marriage is low, but that doesn't mean there isn't someone out there for you.

Answer 4

If that really is a concern for you, it looks like your looking at the wrong women. Don't settle for someone who doesn't share your desire for purity. Chances are you'll lose it if you do. There's a very easy way to find out how a woman feels about that sort of thing. Bring it up in conversation. Dating people you don't know and aren't friends with is a bad idea, and any relationship should be built on honesty.
There are a lot of good girls out there who are waiting on good guys to take the risk.

Answer 5

It is pretty admirable if throughout your life till now you had at least 10 offers of sex from 10 beautiful woman & you actually rejected all of them to remain a virgin you are today. So was that the case?

Anyway.. not all ladies are obsessed with sex, & is really no big deal to the ladies if you are a virgin or not. So stop being a paranoid & be normal & go date someone, chance are I don't think she'll pounce on you knowing you are that sweet little virgin.

Answer 6

I too am in a similar situation. I am 27 and still a virgin. I believe strongly that sex is to be kept within marriage but I also wonder that the older I get the less likely chance I have of meeting Mr right who also hasn't had sex before. I am a Christian and am determined not to sleep with anyone until i marry.
Many guys I know only want one thing....to get a girl into bed etc. It should be special! A sign of commitment and love between you and your husband or wife.

In answer to your question! YES there are girls willing to wait!

Take Care

Answer 7

There are women out there who are willing to wait and are afraid of the pressures you are afraid of...dating, rejection,cheating. They are just as relationship shy as you are and it comes from a lack of self confidence and/or self worth. If you are happy with who you are someone else will be happy with you as well.

If you are with someone who is not willing to wait then certainly that's not the person you should be with. And while it's not easy to know who that person is right away you may be hurt a few times until the right one comes along. You should be dating to find someone who is right for you. You are the director casting for the part in your play. You don't date people to see if you can star in their movie. They are on audition for you until you find the right leading lady. Sure they are going to be looking at it from their perspective too, but you are the one who gets to walk away from the audition saying "you're not right for me"

The pain of rejection is not fun, but don't let it stop you from dating. There are a lot of diverse people with ideas, cultures, families, backgrounds, interests... you date to meet and learn and grow. The lady who does fit your mold of perfect partner will enjoy the benefits of your knowledge and experiences that you've brought from other relationships.

And when you are with the lady of your dreams and marriage is on the horizon; the two of you will be comfortable enough with each other to talk about sex and sexual matters, so you both will enjoy each other's company in bed. You will not be a disappointment to the woman who chooses you---you will NOT. There's just no way.

Answer 8

not sure what your reasons are for wanting to wait but if it is for something religious you may want to try dating in that field. I'm told christian chicks don't like sex before marriage. You can also drop it casually on a first or second date. You're bound to shoo away many girls but better than gettign clsoe and then gettign hurt. Lastly, some girls (gasp, wonder who those might be) may fidn it "sweet" or "romantic" or have similar ideas.

I do think however, that it's a recipe for desaster to wait until marriage but i'm sure you've heard the whole speech before.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

This is a toughie! It's true that the world now is sex mad....but not everyone is like that! It is great to see that you have values for yourself and are willing to stick to them no matter what! You can't let this stop you from dating. That is the only way to get yourself out there to find that special person. If they react in the negative ways that you have described, they are clearly not worth it. Keep trying and keep your values strong!
All the best xo

Answer 11

This all depends on what the woman wants. Its great that you want to wait, but in todays society unfortunitly its not like that. As long as your upfront and she likes you and is willing to wait then shes the one for you. Also, never know when you fall head over heals for her you might change your and want to test the waters. You never know how it will go down the road. Just be honest and upfront.