I hate myself for what I've done but it is so hard. I'm HIV positive and I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months. We have had sex a few times unprotective and I know he deserves to know the truth. How can I do this?
2006-12-28 12:55:52 · 42 answers · asked by Jane S 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
You are 9 months too late. I personally would cut you loose for the deception not the HIV. you have possibly destroyed an individual.
brutal honesty is the only way to get through this as soon as possible.
2006-12-28 13:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by iroc 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him now. In many states having unprotected sex when you are HIV+ without informing your partner is a felony.
Call your local HIV clinic, ask when they do testing and what the cost is (usually free). Sit down, in person, with your BF and let him know you're positive. Let him know the reasons you delayed telling him, then give him time to vent and listen to his reaction. If you are worried about a violent reaction do it in public, like at a restaurant or coffeehouse or park. Afterwords you can go together to get him tested, or give him info so he can go on his own. He does not necessarily have HIV himself, as it doesn't transmit every single time - especially if you've been the receptive partner every time. However, he does need to know as soon as possible in case he has received the virus.
2006-12-28 13:04:39 · answer #2 · answered by Ann S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, you need to be straight up with the people you are asking help from! Did you have sex with him BEFORE you found out you were HIV positive or AFTER. Because if you found out BEFORE you didn't state that and you're going to endure a lot of critisism because everyone is assuming the worst.. you had sex after you found out.
You need to tell him. It's a legal right that he knows. He needs to get tested ASAP. You can tell him when you're drivng somewhere to avoid the akward eye contact, if you don't want that. But if not, a quiet remote location, if you love him tell him so, and tell him you're sorry. Be straight up. Don't put it off any longer. Hell, call him over right now and get it over with. It needs to be done, and soon.
2006-12-28 13:03:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your partner NOW!!! He does deserve to know about. Think of how you would feel if the role was reversed and he had it and didn't tell you...you should go to a clinic together to talk to a counselor. Maybe go by yourself first to get some ideas as to what to say to him. I certainly hope you have started treatment for the virus, which can prolong your health. You can even call an AIDS or HIV hotline to talk to one of the individuals who deal with this every day
2006-12-28 13:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by kw3647 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First let me say, you should be ashamed of yourself. What in the hell is wrong with you? You are not mature enough nor responsible enough to be in a relationship because you lack the maturity and integrity to be HONEST. You are endangering another person with your negligence and stupidity. You also need to know engaging in sexual activities knowing you have HIV or other sexual diseases and not disclosing it to your partner is a FELONY and you can go to jail if he chooses to press charges. This is attempted murder since this disease has no cure and the inevitable is DEATH. I cannot stress enough the idiocy of your actions. If I were your bf, I would prosecute to the fullest extent. Therefore, I suggest you tell him NOW. Get off the damn computer and call him. Then, when you can learn to be open and honest to a potential sex partner, then you are mature enough to be in a relationship.
2006-12-28 13:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by S H 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do believe that having unprotected sex with previous knowledge that you are HIV positive is highly inconsiderate and dangerous. However- HIV AND AIDS is no longer a death sentence. Tell him soon. Chances are you fear him leaving you, and you need to take the leap of faith and tell him asap to prevent losing him to death, infection, etc. Get help to go through it toether.
2006-12-28 13:03:20 · answer #6 · answered by soberlunatic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him as soon as possible. Did you have unprotected sex when you knew you were hiv positive?? If so you are a bad person.
When you tell him, dont expect him to stay with you, even if you just found out you had hiv. No one wants to be with a person who has a disease which can be transferred to another person.
2006-12-28 12:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you knew you had HIV before you slept with him and didnt tell him, you seriously deserve to burn in hell. Otherwise, just tell him the truth. He most likely wont ever speak to you again so get ready.
2006-12-28 12:59:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you must not care to much for him or you would never have had unpredicted sex you would use every precaussion possible to prevent anyone that comes in contact with you from catching this from you ,If youcare anything for him know youll tell him immeditly and go with him to find out if he even speaks to you again,when your delling with something so important you should always ask your self how would i feel if i were in his shoes.....so no matter what happens tell him so he can get protected,theres a program thru the American Red Cross,and health department,but make sure you tell him and get him to go to the doctor asap.....
2006-12-28 13:03:43 · answer #9 · answered by good advise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God, that is illegal. You know he can sue you if he wants. My goodness if there is one thing that can quickly dissolve a relationship its finding out your partner is HIV +. You should tell him yourself and if you can't have a clinic contact him to let him know that he's been sexually involved with someone who's carrying the virus. I think this is every sexually active persons nightmare.
2006-12-28 13:01:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋