i like a girl who told me she has herpies , what should i do?

Answer 1

Move on unless you want it too. If you get it, and later break up with her, you may limit your chances of finding someone else.

Answer 2

OUCH! is all i can say to those RUDE answers below. Over 1/2 of the people out there who have herpes don't have any symptoms or know they have it. I just recently got the infection from someone who had no clue they had it. And he was with a girl of 5 1/2 years. And i know i got it from him because i am a health nut and always got tested. It sounds like a nasty thing and thats just what it is, but you need to look at it like this: many people have oral herpes, and no one is freaking out about it. Herpes 2 is the same thing, but just located on the genital area. Most people dont even get breakouts, and apparently the only way it is spread is through having actual breakout contact. Definitely practice safe sex, but dont be scared that it is the be-all-end-all. Because it is not. I suggest you look up more about the virus and get a better understand for how minor of a thing it actually is. So many people are quick to play arrogant to things they have no clue about. If you just simply search some sites on it, you will understand what you're dealing with.

Answer 3

If you really like her, you shouldn't let herpes deter you from being together. I have friends where the wife has herpes and the husband doesn't. They have been together almost ten years and the husband has never caught the virus from his wife. When she is having outbreaks, she takes Valtrex to help keep the outbreak to a minimum level. They also use condoms or abstain from sex during an outbreak. When she is not having outbreaks, they have unprotected sex, but she is really very vigilant about recognizing the signs of when she is going to have an outbreak so that she can make sure he is protected. Openness and honesty with each other are the key things here.

Answer 4

I think u should go ahead and like her, my husband has herpies he takes meds that suppress it for up to 3 years @ a time,he's not a nasty person it just happens i understand that we have 2 kids and have been married 6 years and i have still not been infected we take alot of percations sexually though but once u learn to deal with it its no big deal. like i said theres meds that make him not out break for years and the pics u see of herpies on line and in those school movies is like the worse cases ever!! A normal outbreak for my husband is one sore smaller than your pinky nail and it hangs around for like 2 weeks then goes away, So its no biggie in my opinion. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

It is so sad to see all of the uneducated answers such as "your f*cked" etc etc...
The fact that she told you upfront is a good sign, many people out there don't have the courage to tell, they take chances and don't tell, that's how you end up with it.
If you really like her and want to have sex with her, ask her to communicate with you. If she feels any symptoms, even if it isn't an outbreak, such as fever, a cold, tingling in the area she is affected, etc, that she MUST tell you. Find out where she is affected (the exact spot) so that you may check for yourself if you feel so inclined before sexual contact. Many people have it and don't know, you may have it and not even know it. It's a very common disease in America and sadly due to the stigma of it, many people will not disclose it to their partners.
She can also take a medictaion that supresses it, lessens the chances of spreading it to you.
Use condoms, even though they may not fully protect you. Use discretion, and at very least if you decide she is not for you because of this, let her down easy, it's very hurtful when someone is honest about that and it comes crashing down on them. Be upfront and sincere with her as she was with you.

Answer 6

I was in a 4-year relationship with a man who had genital herpes. I was tested a year after the relationship broke up, and I was still negative. He took suppressive medication and we used condoms. I look back on that relationship, and it was definitely worth the risk. He was a great guy, and we had our own issues that were unrelated to herpes.

The first thing you need to do is get tested yourself for herpes to make sure you don't have it. 1 out of 4 people is walking around with genital herpes in our country, and out of those, 90% don't even know they have it because their symptoms are either so mild or they have no symptoms at all. So you need to be tested yourself. Your test results will inform how to proceed with this woman. If you are negative for genital herpes (type II), she can use suppressive medication to prevent transmitting it to you.

The medication appears to be the best way to help prevent transmission to sexual partners. There was a study done on Valtrex, which is the only drug that was tested to see how much it was able to prevent herpes, and they found that it decreased transmission by at least 50%, and it was later reported that those findings were underestimated, and prevention may be closer to 75-80%.

In other words, you could have a long-term relationship with this girl, and if she uses suppressive medications and you guys use condoms religiously, it is entirely possible you will never be infected.

Your risk of being infected is 3-4% PER YEAR. That is not 3-4% with each episode of sex. It is 3-4% over the year and that is ONLY if you don't use condoms and you don't have sex when she is having an outbreak. Your risk with condoms only and no medication is 50% less than that, so it would be 1-2% per year. Your risk with medications and condoms decreases those numbers yet again. So you can begin to see how effective all of these methods are in prevention of herpes. You have a higher risk of getting your partner pregnant while using a condom than you do of contracting herpes from her. Also, generally, herpes is more easily transmitted from man to woman than from woman to man. The stats for man-to-woman transmission are a little higher than those I quoted.

You need to educate yourself about herpes. It is possible to have a loving and sexual relationship with a person with herpes even if you don't have it.

I like medhelpinternational for information about STDs. They give out extremely accurate information, and there is a doctor there answering questions about herpes who is knowledgeable in STDs in general. My take on the information you read on Yahoo Answer is that most people seem very uninformed about STDs and I would be very careful about taking advice from this website. There is a lot of judgment on this website about STDs. I educated myself about STDs years ago and remain STD-free even though I've had one long-term relationship with a man with herpes. I don't see STDs as dealbreakers, frankly, as long as you are informed about the risks and how to prevent transmission.

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/STD/wwwboard.html

Good luck!

Answer 7

If you really like her and would like to spend time with her, there are ways to prevent/treat herpes. There are many people out there who have herpes, but seek medical help to lead normal lives. If you are willing to make sacrifices to be with her, make sure that you learn about herpes, and ways to avoid it. I agree with other people as well: there is no direct cure for herpes, and once you have it, it will be different. Another girl who may want to date you, may ask the same question as you are asking now.

Answer 8

If you really like her and want to understand more about Herpes, please consult the Herpes Handbook. It is a great source of information to help you better understand Herpes and the statistics and how it can relate to a person that does not have Herpes.

Good luck

Answer 9

What do you mean, what should you do? This isn't a death sentence. If you love her, you'll just have to make the decision to either use condoms or risk getting herpes.

Answer 10

If you get to that part of the relationship, practice safe sex.