Okay, here is my situation. I have been with one person for 8 yrs (girl 1). I recently started talking to someone else about 2 months ago (girl 2). We started out as just friends but we have grown to love one another ( it is more than lust) it happend naturally. We have not had sex, but there was talk about it. I recently found out I have Herpes and I think I contracted it when I was younger. Now, girl 1 knows and plans to stick by me, she probably has it too because we have unprotected sex. My questoion is: Do I tell girl 2 because of how we feel about one another and hope she will be understanding, or do I just find a way to break it off since our relationship probably wont last anyway due to the fact that I have been in a relationship for 8 yrs now? She knows something is bothering me and keeps asking whats wrong. She is very understanding and she doesnt judge people. If I should break it off, what do I do, I dont want to hurt her, I love her dearly.
2006-12-26 09:42:33 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
ok, this is one that I have to weigh in on.
I have a long term partner who has herpes AND I DON'T!!!
You can go through the whole, she cheated thing if you want and ruin a very good relationship if you want but it could be a very big mistake! Maybe GIRL 1 really loves you! Don't lose what could be the best thing that ever happen to you. I'll stop there on that.
Girl 2...you have no other choice but to tell her the TRUTH! It is irresponsible to expose her to something that she did not sign on for...for the rest of her life. She isn't saying "I DO"...at least not yet...so you have to give her the choice. If she bolts, then you know that her physical health and the possibilities of having disease-free relationships is very important to her. It is not about you. It is about her. But if you find that she is willing to engage you anyway, then you will find that she really and truly loves you.
In that case, you will find that you have two women who love you and you have a decision to make. BE A MAN ABOUT IT AND MAKE THE DECISION!!! One of those women will be hurt! You should NOT continue seeing both of them.
If you want to break it off with girl 2 without telling her about the herpes, just tell her that you really need to stay committed to girl 1 because of the longevity of your relationship. Tell her that you really do care for her and that you feel that the timing is wrong. All her dignity and respect. Don't make it ugly. Careful though...she may GO OFF!!! It all depends on how you have been with her over the last few months!
I wish you luck! A love triangle is rough! Even rougher in your case! Good luck!
2006-12-26 10:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by Kokomira 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The right thing to do is to come clean with everyone, especially girl 1 because you two are really deep in this together. However, since that would basically be throwing away an 8 yr relationship - HEY WAIT -What's this about girl one PROBABLY has it, and that you PROBABLY got it when you were younger? Dude, open your eyes, If girl two didn't give it to you girl 1 did. What is blinding yu so much that you can't see that. Are you saying that you've had herpes for 8 years and just found out, bullshit.
Girl 1 cheated on you the same way you cheated on her and now you're both screwed.
Dump girl one, tell girl 2 everything and hope she sticks with you.
Girl 1 and you are not meant to be together, and don't let a shared disease bind you together.
And please tell me there' aren't any kids involved. Sheesh.
Bottom line, you'll lose girl 2 so be ready for that (Could you get over a partner having herpes when you don't?).
And girl 1, i just don't see that working long term so cut your losses there and join a Herpes support group where hopefully you'll meet someone good enough to start something with.
2006-12-26 09:54:40 · answer #2 · answered by Soundjata 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
2
2016-08-31 01:50:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got diagnosed with herpes simplex virus (type 2) about 3 years back, whilst I was still in college and had a dumb one-night stand. I realize a lot of girls say this, but I swear I had never done that sort of thing before. I just made a huge mistake that one time and all of a sudden it seemed like I was going to have to live with the implications for my entire life. The worst part was feeling I could never date guys again. In the end, who wants to go out with someone who has sores around her private parts? But since a friend shared this video https://tr.im/CzSas everything got better.
Not only was I able to eliminate all traces of the herpes simplex virus from my system in less than 3 weeks, but I was also able to start dating again. I even met the guy of my dreams and I'm so lucky to write that just last week, in front of everyone in a crowded restaurant, he got down on one knee and proposed to me!!! This system provided me the opportunity to be happy and experience real love again. Now I want to help others too by sharing this story.
2015-09-27 16:50:49 · answer #4 · answered by Chelsea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what is wrong with people sometimes. Everyone seems like they want to judge. I guess they all have fallen in love with only one person in their lives, and have stuck with that same person. That's highly doubtful. Anybody who is older than say, twenty, and has had some real life experience knows that this isn't always the case.
My answer is this...if you truly love and care about Girl #2 and envision a future together, you need to tell her that you have herpes and that is what has been on your mind so much lately. Tell her what you've just told us in your question, that you truly care about her and hope she will be understanding.
The wrong thing to do would be to just stick with Girl #1 just because she already knows and already understands. If you don't truly love her, then it would be unfair to you, unfair to her, and unfair to Girl #2. Nobody should be stuck in a relationship they are not happy with because he is worried that his "true love" won't accept him, nor should a woman be kept in a relationship in which she is "second best."
Plus, you need to give Girl #2 a chance. Don't anticipate that her reaction will be negative. Take a chance. It might be the best thing that ever happened to you!
Best wishes to you.
2006-12-26 15:27:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever been diagnosed with herpes? And is it genital or oral? Type I or type II?
If you have genital herpes, you are obligated to tell your partner before you engage in sexual intercourse. Some states have laws about this. People have been sued (successfully) over this issue, so make sure your partners - all partners - know before engaging in sexual activity.
Second, even if you have herpes, it is entirely possible that girl #1 doesn't have it. I believe her risk is 8-10% per year without condoms or you using suppressive medication and avoiding sex during outbreaks. You've got a higher chance of getting her pregnant when using condoms. So she needs to be tested to see if she has it.
I was in a 4-year relationship with a man who had genital herpes. He used suppressive medication, and we used condoms for both vaginal and anal sex. I never contracted herpes from him. I was tested a year after we broke up and was negative.
It's possible for discordant couples to have a "normal" sex life. (Discordant means one has herpes, one doesn't.) Genital herpes, in my opinion, doesn't have to be a dealbreaker for a long-term relationship.
2006-12-26 15:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up. But now, My life is very happy.
Fast Acting Guaranteed Herpes Treatment?
2016-05-15 09:10:44 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl 1 is your best bet because whether or not YOU gave her herpes she is willing to stay by your side! Guaranteed girl 2 is gonna bolt, she wont want herpes no matter how much she claims to love you. Herpes has no cure, it only has medications to decrease outbreaks but its never 100% cured. You're lucky that Girl 1 is willing to continue the relationship, that shows how dedicated she is, stay with her!
2006-12-26 09:48:05 · answer #8 · answered by SR A 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Should you break it off with Girl#2?? Obviously you should break it off with Girl#1, since you are already 'in love' with #2. If it is really that much of an inner strife, you shouldn't be with either one. #1- who you already infected with herpes (the gift that keeps on giving) is willing to stand by you, and is probably oblivious to your stepping out is waiting around for you to make up your mind. #2, whom you 'love dearly' is waiting for you to take your relationship to the next level, expecting you and her, I'm sure, to continue your relationship. You don't deserve either girl. Love yourself, first, before spreading any more "love". oh, and whoever told you to use condoms. Thumbs up, but condoms don't protect you 100% from Herpes, as they can pop up in places NOT covered by condoms.
2006-12-26 10:39:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be with who you want to be with but do not expose anyone to herpes without them being aware that you have it. That is not right.
2006-12-26 13:34:47 · answer #10 · answered by micg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋