It has been 10 months since we have been engaged in starting there were no disputes between us. I am a lonely living boy, Believing in living a simple life away from the relatives where as she insists that i should be able to mix with relatives which is the reason of dispute between us. pls guide.
2006-12-20 22:41:40 · 15 answers · asked by darshan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I know from my experience with my parents it is a fine line to travel. Socializing with parents and family can be difficult. My husband is an introvert and would be happy if we both just kept to ourselves and lived our own life with no interaction with either of our families. However I am a firm believer in compromise. It is one thing to spend every weekend with family and another to spend the occasional weekend and/or holidays. I highly recommend that you sit down with your fiance and speak from the heart. If you are committed to her which it seems you are you should be willing to compromise to a certain degree. On the flip side she should realize that this is important to you and be willing to compromise as well. Marriage is a give and take relationship. My husband and I deal with conflicts regarding this issue all the time. Be open to hear her side of the story and hopefully she will be open to yours. I wish you all the best. Don't lose hope.
2006-12-21 00:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by Carolyn B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi darshan,
this is a very sensitive issue .to tell u the truth i dont find anything wrong in her saying that.one should have good contacts with everyone.see may be the person whom u meet today may be of use to you some other day.and also you get to know about the different kinds of people ,their mentalities etc.so there is no harm in mingling with people.
even then if u dont feel like doing so you can always smoothly convince her that you have been alone all the time and hence you cant mingle with everyone so early.may be you will have good contacts with everyone in a later stage.
tell her this n convince her.dont let this problem be a barrier for your relationship which has a long way to go.
2006-12-21 07:17:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to figure out a balance between the two. You are not just marrying this girl, you are marrying her family too. If she is family oriented and likes to spend time with them she will want to include you in that as you are going to be part of this family. However, if you are more quite and reserved, maybe you can sit down and come up with a compromise...maybe you don't have to go to every family get together, but split the difference and go to half of them. Explain to her that this is new for you, and outside your comfort level. Communication is key in any relationship, so start talking!
2006-12-21 09:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by fortillfriday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to compromise with each other, sometimes spending time with relatives and sometimes not. If you can't agree on this you should perhaps consider not marrying. Family disputes like this often end breaking up marriages, and this is a fairly major difference in attitudes.
2006-12-21 06:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r seems to be a reserve kind of person who lives in his own world and not prefer to make contact with relatives. if this is due to some reason then try to clarify and solve this issue with yoUr fiancee. otherwise try to be some more social and if you love her by heart then love wants sacrifice's and you have to do lots of things due to love and here she don't like to see you living alone away from ur own that's good for you.............
2006-12-21 07:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by ish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
compromise will become the most common word with you two as you continue to start your lives together. she wants one thing, you want the opposite. so you each give a little. agree to visit with relatives more often if she'll cool it a little and allow you to say no when you feel uncomfortable.
2006-12-21 06:45:21 · answer #6 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as a person who is marrying you. u even shd think of her..
I think she is not saying anything wrong.. and u need to change for her.. you need to be a social person which gives security to her.. also.. If you really love her accept what she is saying becoz she is right..Please go and live socially.. Some one said we are not placed in islands .. but among people.
2006-12-21 06:46:19 · answer #7 · answered by deva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you MUST mingle with the family. Even though you prefeer not to, you need to understand that she does things to make yu happy and you need to do things to make her happy. PLEASE listen to me: Your love need to be a circle, she needs to complete your circle and you need to complete hers.when you put these two circles together like a link in a chain, you have 3 seperate pieces, Hers, yours, and a small one in the middle, Your link needs to be the same size as hers. the link in the middle is for friends and family. As in a chain, one weak link can break the chain. DONT be the weak link, Hope this helps.
2006-12-22 00:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by dgebhardt79 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
darshan dear
if u have realized this soon then better for u .. atleast ur not married till now ... take the clue and find someone else .. life is making right decision at right time ...
god bless u
2006-12-21 06:55:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lucky that it is happening before marriage.Take a second look at your relationship and decide what you want to do.
2006-12-21 21:23:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋