Seems like my kids got the worst grandparents! They never remember their birthdays, forget about christmas and other important events. We live overseas, so grandparents flew all the way from the US just to ignore two little boys completely. No presents or signs of love whatsoever. I feel terrible for my boys, but how can I tell my in-laws that they way they treat their only grandkids is not fair!
2006-12-20 22:22:48 · 6 answers · asked by Natalya J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You cant tell them. Its pathetic and horrible the way they act, but there's nothing you can really do about that. Besides, would you want to them to fake their love and affection? Nope. That would be worse than ignoring the children.
They dont need their grandparents to give them gifts and remember their Birthdays. They obviously have parents who love them very much and thats all that matters.
2006-12-20 22:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by Leiani 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them about how the kids feel or notice how their grandparents are treating them--Little Joe said that he wanted to go to the park with you, but you didn't seem interested, something else seemed more important to you. he's wondering if you like him....
Then ask them directly to pay the kids more attention.
In the end, you can't mak,e them take an interest where they really have none. On your end, tell the boys that this is absolutely not their fault. They need to know that the problem is not them and they should not blame themselves, which is something almost all kids will automatically do.
2006-12-20 22:49:36 · answer #2 · answered by answerme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds rough. I have had some of that but not wuite as bad as your situation. Try subtle coaching, remind them of birthdays, frequently discuss the pans for their big day and offer gift ideas. Suggest that they would love X or Y. If they are incumbered by you living in another country, offer to buy something where you live on their behalf. Offer local web sites they can shop on.
But ask them straight out, what are you going to send, if they refuse, tell them how this hurts your kids, especially if the other set of grandparents is not the same way. Ask if this is what they want to do.
You have to get direct at some point nd explain to them, hey, this is what my kids expect and by not doing it, it hurts their feelings.
They are probably following the example of their grandparents, you'll have to help them get a new model. Perhaps your inlaws can serve to that end.
However, you also have to accept their level of involvement. Even if it is less than you want. Don't fake it to your kids by buying presents from Grandma. Kids are very smart and can smell a fraud.
2006-12-20 22:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by cabriojazz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to break the news .. somehow i got a feeling that they did not approve of yr marriage with yr husband. i know of someone whom her mother in law hates her and hates her kids as well.
most of the time grandparents will love their grandkids more then their own son or daughter...
well u just spend more time with them
2006-12-20 23:05:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is related to the relation between you and your parentsk ie if you take good care of them then am sure they will give more care to your kids, we have a say in Arabic: the grandson is beloved more than the son
2006-12-20 22:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by ezzidin h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it, just let it go. You can't force a relationship between them because it wouldn't be genuine. Don't feel bad. My mother in-law wont even accept her grandchild. She even called her a "bastard" and said it wasn't my husband's. I don't care because my kids have their mommy and Daddy, they DON'T need anyone else!!! So just let them be ignorant!!! You keep being there for your boys, and they wont even see a difference or notice them.
2006-12-20 22:59:07 · answer #6 · answered by katy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋