Resenting parents and how to deal with it ?

Question

Was depressed for some time and haven't tried dealing with it until now. Parents never helped me out because i guess they didn't know how to and were going through their own thing's. Most of the time when they come to talk to me it's about money troubles and i hate it. I'm 21 now and have not accomplished anything. Now that they're seeing i'm earning money of my own to try and 'fly from the coop' so to speak they are wanting me to support them before i can get my chance to "fly".. I feel so selfish for feeling this way and i'm sure most people wouldn't even think twice about helping out their parents. I wish i could be more mature and understanding about thing's but it seems i'll always be here .. two steps forward and one step back. I don't know.. advice ? I'd appreciate anyone who has any experiences like this they'd like to share maybe ?

Answer 1

When I was 22 my dad got laid off. I was about 1 month away from having enough saved up so I could get my own apartment. It took awhile, but I decided to do what was right and helped out my dad so he could keep the house. Then I got another job working 22 hours on the weekend on top of the 40 hours during the week and going to school full time. After about 6 months he got another job. Ever since he has shown his appreciation by helping me with anything he can.

It was very hard to do but was well worth it.

Answer 2

I was 17 (I'm 20 now) when my dad left my mom and I. My older brother had just moved away, meaning it really was just my mom and I. After 31 years of marriage my mom didn't know how to be alone, so at a time in my life when I was supposed to be becoming more independent, my dad got to move to Vegas and live his life. I always felt to guilty to go out because my mom would cry when I'd try to leave - so I'd stay with her at all times. I resent my dad alot. I wish I could tell you what would help, but I don't know. I just wanted you to know I know how you feel.

Answer 3

You are grown and as you say your parents did the best they could (sometimes) well. Now you are on your own and trying to make a life for yourself. First of all I would suggest you enroll in college and make the sacrifice now while you are young. And yes it is a difficult sacrifice. however, you do it now for 4-5or 6 years or you will be doing it the rest of your life in low paying jobs. And regarding your parents. Help them if it is not going to put you into a difficult position. It is not your job to care for your parents, they are your parents and actually they should be supporting you emotionally to succeed in life. Don't feel quality. if you did not have the best home life, make the best of your life not dwelling on the past and not allowing them to make you feel quality..Be the best you can be. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 4

Your parents are supposed to be supporting themselves. You have no business supporting them. Fly the coop as far as you can so that you can get your life in order. Expect that they will be asking you to take a guilt trip, but don't take the bait. They are adults but don't sound full grown. They need to grow up, and your leaving might help them to do so. If not, at least one of the 3 of you needs to grow up and enjoy life, so it might as well be you.

Answer 5

I know what you say but I think you should help them if they need you ,when I was younger ,my parents always cared for my other brother and sisters but now that they are old they always come to my house and stay with me and look for my help more than others because they dont do anything for them but I do.Sometimes I feel I am stupid doing that because non of them was good with me like they were with my elder sister but I still feel good helping them and I try to avoid thinking about the past!