Lonely dad...( i think)?

Question

My mum, brother and i all share a room while my dad has one for himself as he snores really loudly and he doesnt want to disturb us. This might seem perfectly normal to you but i always get this feeling that he is lonely deep inside. He works very hard for my family and always comes home late. And most of the time when he comes home, my mum brother and i are talking in our room. And since he plays the guitar, he always brings it into our room as a way to spend time with us i guess. I ever asked him how to stop his snoring issues and he said that the only way is to go for surgery. As a daughter, i wud really wan the best for my dad as i love him alot and i think he's really lonely. Sometimes i feel like askin my dad to go for the surgery but im scared of how he will react. Just imagine... After a hard day of work, u enter ur room, shower, and get stuff done without seeing ppl. Doesnt that feel as if u were never married and never had children? Tell me what to do. =(

There is no other way to stop his snoring problem besides surgery. That's what the doc said.

Sorry i keep adding details guys. This has been bugging me for a really long time. As to what Lara said, i cant really spend time with him when he is awake as he goes to work super early when everyone is sleeping. And because we sleep in separate rooms, I would say im not as close to him as i wud like to be. So its kinda hard to say that i love him and stuff. What i do now is i hug him goodnight every night if i see him and if not i sms him. Sometimes i wonder if he finds these sms-es annoying.

Answer 1

that was hard to follow. Right your dad a nice 'lovely letter'. Telling him all you appreciate about him. Tell him that you notice how hard he works. communication and relationships are about sharing everything. Once you consistently tell him how much you appreicate him, then tell him you perfer if he gets the surgery done. And keep appreciating him, no matter if he gets the surgery or not

Answer 2

How nice of you to have so sweet thoughts of your father!
Yes, I think he will be lonely, and he doesnt want to show it to you people lest you feel bad about it.
Unfortunately snoring doesnt seem to have a cure without surgery, but you can ask another YA question on this separately so that someone may suggest a non-surgical remedy.
I think all of you as a family should talk together about this, particularly the two children, and impress upon him to have the surgery done. There will be expenses of course, but you might be able to find a way out if the cost is known. Maybe the local church might help to find a sponsor for the surgery cost if you cannot afford the whole of it, or help you find a good doctor who would charge a smaller fees. There are always kind souls in this world, but you have to find them, with some effort. Good luck.

Answer 3

Im glad you asked me to visit this...i actually worked as sleep technician for a few doctors and this is exactly what I did, I watched ppl sleep determined what sleep disorders they had and then went on to correct them. Judging from what you told me he has Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA). The doctor who told him the only way to get rid of this is an idiot. He is out to make money, the surgery works less than 1/2 of the time (my father is also a sleep MD). Have your dad check with another doctor, go in for a sleep test where he will stay overnight and they will hook him up and monitor everything from stage of sleep, how bad the snoring is, what positions he sleeps in that gives the worst snoring, leg jersk, eye movements, heart rates, blood/sugar level...everything. They will then put him on what is called a CPAP machine that is what will cure his snoring and will probably change his life if he uses it. They will hook him up to a breathing machine that basically forces air into his lungs and helps him breath easier and more freely during sleep.

Again please tell him to see a different doctor b/c the doctor he is dealing with right now is completely clueless. Tell him to request a sleep study and that if he uses this CPAP machine correctly he will never snore again and his sleep will improve drastically therefore he will feel ALOT better every single day which in turn helps out attitude and just overall view on life! Best of luck!!

Answer 4

Its so nice that you care for your dad so much best thing is to make sure you spend time with him when his awake, because when he sleeps, his sleeping and you don't have feelings when you sleep and if he knows you love him and have a full night of being together then he will know that his not alone. maybe mom could spend a few nights a week with him for some together time and if she's really bothered through the night she can get up then and come to the other room.

Answer 5

you know what, I got tears in my eyes while reading your wonderful question. I got a daughter aged 7 and I want her exactly to be same as you. You are so lovely and so caring, what else can a father dream of? Your father is very lucky to have you and I am lucky too for having an opportunity to conversate with a fine person that you are!!! About the answer, obviously you would never want to disrupt your father's routine life which he likes. This snoring is common with almost everyone and having a separate room is a luxury not everyone can afford, so people go along this thing normally if they truly love the snoring person. IF we claim to love someone, we have to love his pains, problems, weaknesses, etc., otherwise we will be selfish. hope you got the answer you were looking for!!! lots of love and care for you and do convey my SMS to your father that he is lucky father :-)

Answer 6

i never really saw my dad to much...so as soon as he came home...i would' leave my room" give him a big hug....even if he came home late...there was always a little note for him...saying i missed him and love him...sometimes I would even get up early with him...just to say "have a good day". Show you understand and appreciate what he is doing for you all. There is no reason he should come to your room, you guys should go greet him, when he gets home.Shower him with love...then you won't feel guilty about him being lonely....Yes, sure he snores...but I am sure when he is awake, he is fine....No MORE ROOM HANGING OUT" to be honest...that would make him feel left out...if you all are staying inside your room...all a dad wants to see..is his children's faces(smiling) when he comes home...it must be a drag, if he has to come looking for you.

Answer 7

Write him a letter and tell him how you feel about him and how much you love him. I'm betting if you do that he will never feel as lonely again. Someday it will be too late to tell him and it sounds like he would benefit from knowing now. You are a good daughter and he is a lucky man.

Answer 8

You're a Great kid to start off with ! Tell your Dad that you love him very much, and you would be happy if he could sleep with you guys, say "I love you Dad, I need you close by", it'll mean a lot, and you have a great Dad too.

Answer 9

You know, your expression of love to him is the greatest thing you could give him, this way while he is out at work his heart is doubly filled with love for his family and feels much less tired...Why not prepare for a simple, warm surprise party to express the family love towards him, and surprise him ???

Answer 10

Have your dad try those snore strip things you put on your nose ,they also have some spray stuff.