funny or not?

Question

A guy walks into a bar carrying an 18" alligator.
The bartender says, "What do think you're doing? Get that goddamn thing out of here. I don't allow pets in my establishment".
The guy tries to explain. "Look he won't cause any trouble. He's well trained and I'll prove it". He then proceeds to put the alligator on the bar and says, "open".
The alligator open its mouth and you can see all of its razor sharp teeth. "Now watch this", he says and proceeds to remove his penis through his zipper and lays his balls gently onto the alligator's teeth.
He then orders a beer and proceeds to drink it. All the while the alligator keeps its mouth open and nothing happens. After finishing the beer the man gently removes his penis and puts it back into his pants.
He then says, "close" and the alligator closes its mouth. "You see he is perfectly trained. He would do that for anybody. Does anyone want to try?"
After looking around he finally here a drunk whose sitting at table say "Sure I'd like to try. But I don't know if I can keep my mouth open that long."

Answer 1

a lot of grumpys on today is it just the time of year for them i got a good laugh 10/10

Answer 2

Yeah, although, I heard a slightly better version:

The man says everyone in the bar should buy him a drink if he does this trick with his d--k in the alligators mouth....

and after putting his dick into the alligrator's mouth and finishing off drinking his beer the man hits the alligator on the head with the empty beer bottle and nothing happens so the man removes his c--k from the alligrator's mouth and says close. He then asks would anyone in the bar wish to try this trick and a WOMEN in the bar says:
"Yeah. I will try it out, but don't hit me too hard on the head".

Which I thought was 11/11 LOL IMOA.
CAN YOU IMAGINE??
Cheers

Answer 3

so the last drinker is poofter (gay) am i correct?

if i am, it's lame,,,, that punchline.... here is one:


HIGH TECH
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a few minutes, he starts dialing on the back
of his hand as if it's a telephone. He then flips his hand over and starts talking
into his palm. The bartender walks over and tells the guy it's a tough neighborhood and
he doesn't need any trouble from weirdos.

"You don't understand," the man says. "I'm very high tech. I've had a phone installed in
my hand because I was tired of carrying a cell."

"Prove it!"

So the guy dials up a number and presents his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks
into the hand and carries on a brief conversation.

"That's incredible," says the bartender. "I would never have believed it!"

"Yeah," says the guy. "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it.
By the way, where is the men's room?"

The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in and five, ten,
twenty minutes go by. Fearing the worst given the violence in the neighborhood,
the bartender goes into the men's room. The guy is spread-eagled against the wall.
His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper shoved up his butt.

"Oh my god!" says the bartender. "Did the locals rob you? Are you hurt?"

The guy casually turns around and says, "No, I'm OK. I'm just waiting for a fax"

Answer 4

Nope...

Instead, Try Stealing The Playboy Jokes Behind The Centerfold...

Answer 5

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then looked around the room and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Anderson Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84 percent more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel is prepared to deal with that contingency,we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare spoon.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was rather impressed.

The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom."

"How so?"

"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

"Okay, that makes sense, but . . . if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Answer 6

Fantastic.

Answer 7

cor there is a lot of miserable people on yahoo today
they need to lighten up
i thought it was good lol 9/10

Answer 8

Funny!

Answer 9

It brings a smile, but not a laugh. Definitely amusing but really not that funny.

Answer 10

It's worth a giggle.