If I don't like to party (I don't drink at all) or go to crowded social places... Does that make me undesirabl
...e???? I'm 20 years old in college. I've never been on a date or done anything with a girl for that matter ;), but i'm definitly straight.
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18 minutes ago
It seems like everybody but me likes to drink and party
2006-12-20 18:48:11 · 13 answers · asked by Wocka wocka 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why? and how so? Your chances of meeting someone new is less likely than if you were social, but i don't see how that would make someone less desireable. I am almost 22 and a full time college student, i don't party, i rarely drink and i rarely go out with my friends and i am perfectly fine with that. I'm just the type of person who doesn't give a care about what other people do or what they think about me and what i should do. It's not always the "cool" thing to go with the crowd. Maybe you and I are just the type of people who like to keep it low key.
But, the difference between you and I is, i've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Even if i wasn't committed to someone, i honestly think that i wouldn't be out partyin all the time either. And i like it that way. If you are comfortable with the person you are, then why feel insecure or pressured to conform with the "college life norm"???
I find guys who going out all the time and have lots of friends less desireable than someone who is down to earth. I like a person who has the time to spend one on one with me, rather than someone who's got a busy social life. I'd rather be the girlfriend, not the 7:00 p.m "appointment" in his busy social life.
If you think changing your social life is going to make a difference, it will. and it all depends on what kind of attention and girls you are trying to attract
2006-12-20 18:56:39 · answer #1 · answered by Alicia 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Be you!
Continue to be you. Stay within your comfort zone and do not yield to the peer pressure even at the age of 20. It does not make you undesirable. It makes others wish they had the will power like you do. It may make others feel uncomfortable around you because they don't want to offend you.
Hey.... I am speaking from experience as being the "Nice Guy"
I don't smoke, curse, or drink, and never have done drugs. I don't dance either. But I am a people person and I have my head screwed on right.
I can still socialize with others, and just choose not to engage in any of their activities. I make others uncomfortable. They tend to think that I am not happy at social gatherings just because I am not participating, but I tell them I am quite comfortable.
So, you too can still have a social life without having to lose yourself. You don't have to drink to have a good time. After all you are the MVP - (they can always count on you as the designated driver).
The dating part will come with time also. You'll know when it's right. Again this is another area some will envy you on. You still have 40+ years to enjoy life, where others are wishing they could start over. Live and learn without having to get burned.
2006-12-20 18:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by Tired of being Mr. Nice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you are wrong if you think everyone is a party animal..but may be the crowd you hang out with, especailly in college, must be party lovers. It doesn't mean you are undesirable..it just means you have to look for a date who is not a party girl and get wasted every weekend. I would think finding someone like you will be a gift, not a curse. May be you're looking in the wrong place..check out the girls who are not seen at the party scenes that much...AND don't be shy to ask a girl out..every guy (and a girl for that matter) in the world had been bluffed off once or twice in their life time...good luck
2006-12-20 18:53:45 · answer #3 · answered by nirvana 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't sell yourself out for anybody! I have dealt with that my whole life because I didn't fit into the drugs/drinking crowd. Even in my thirties I dealt with it at work. You need to be able to hold your head high and respect yourself. Get involved in college activities that do not have partying or try to meet people through volunteer work or some other outside source. I always had older more mature friends because they respected my decision to be sober more than the people my own age. Screw all those losers, be yourself and respect your body, health and mind. I admire you for being you. There is a line in a Garth Brooks song that goes "You can't follow like a bunch of sheep, you gotta listen to your heart"
2006-12-20 18:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by babygrlpls 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
No, but it is true that most people your age do drink and party cause they are pressured into most of the time. They're not strong like you. My advice to you is to hang with people that don't do that such as church youth groups or at a club at school. You're doing great you don't have to date until you're ready. Take care of school and I'm sure your future girlfriend/wife will really appreciate you for not being a ho.
2006-12-20 18:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa GCL 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. The bast places to meet girls is doing activities you like where you like to do them. Volunteer to help kids or engage in outdoor activities, hiking, biking or other sports. Take up tennis or offer to teach computer basics.
Drinking is OK, but it's hard to carry on a conversation in a crowded noisy bar. I have met great women in bars who weren't into bars but were dragged by their friends that particular night.
Spend time in places where the odds of meeting your type of women are good.
Hope this helps.
2006-12-20 19:00:19 · answer #6 · answered by Jimbo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey man thats cool, the thing is you just need to move into something that does excite you, once you've found that thing you will feel desirable and therefore BE desirable! As I always say different strokes for different blokes!
Drinking makes people only think they cool for a short period, think about what an enormous world there is out there and then think about how many interests there are out there!
2006-12-20 18:56:55 · answer #7 · answered by greg h 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, there are more like you but afraid to admit it-- the drunken party seen is so out there no one can be seen between the beer cans- join some school clubs- the more intellectual ones- what's your major? you may want to get involved in tutoring -- there are SADD programs in college and you can also apply for the job as the dorm super- wrong name I cant think of what they call them but they supervise and are responsible for the kids on their floors-- it's a good way to meet nice guys like you-- and yes, you are a nice guy so dont put yourself down because you are the exception to the unacceptable norm.
2006-12-20 18:53:12 · answer #8 · answered by mac 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey! I am a 19 year old female and I feel the same way as you. I have dated though, but not much. I think it turns guys my age away from me because I am not like that. I love to hang out and have a good time, but I can do so without getting totally smashed! ;) I think you are just find and have nothing to worry about! Just be yourself and I think that is a very admirable quality and that you seem very mature and responsible. Good for you for not having to change yourself to fit in. God bless you and I am sure plenty of girls like you, just ask them!! :)
2006-12-20 19:01:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it dosen't make you undesirable, not everyone likes partying and drinking :)
Hope that helps :)
2006-12-20 18:51:46 · answer #10 · answered by Tessa L 1 · 8⤊ 0⤋