My boyfriend and I have deiced to get married I want to have a nice wedding with the perfect dress,flowers,cake, ect but we don't have the money for that right now. But my grandma and my great aunt are all sick and may only be here another year or so I was wondering if we should go to the court house and have a small wedding with just my mom his parents and grandparents and thats it (but not let anyone know that we go married till we have the "real wedding") and then have the "real wedding" later when we have the money. He wants to go ahead and do this but I want our special day to be magical and I dont think I can get that at the courthouse.
What do you all think and what do you all suggest?
I was also wondering if you all knew any good web sites for nice and affordable bridal sets.
Thanks so much!
2006-12-20 18:33:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
There are a lot of girls who are in love with idea of creating a magical, perfect wedding day, but it is just one day. Far more important is the 'being married' part that follows. Get married at the courthouse with those people you are closest too, then plan a big party with a vow-renewal ceremony later. It will still be beautiful and special. But don't keep your marriage secret, that's silly.
2006-12-20 18:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Makes sense that you would want to "rush" to get married so that your grandma and aunt can be there...but if there is any way to avoid just having it at a court house I would. Do you have a friend or relative whose house you could do it at? or is there an appropriate local park? Or you could rent out the local fire hall. There are many options. If you really cant afford anything at all now, what are the chances that you will even be able to save enough to afford anything later?
If youre religious and you explain the situation to your priest, minister, rabbi, whatever, they might be able to help. If not, see if your state permits someone else like a notary public to perform the service. They would be easy to find, or I cant imagine it would be too hard to become a notary public.
You could renew your vows later, or have a "real wedding" as you say...and what you mean by that Im not entirely sure, but it wont be the same thing. And after youre married whats the point? Why save for a wedding if youre already married? Would it just be like a pretend wedding and the court house wedding would be kept secret? I think that kind of nonsense is really very bizarre.
Good luck!
2006-12-21 07:40:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember- a wedding is one day- the marriage is what is forever. That being said, it is a very special day that you want to be perfect. My fiance and I are in the same boat, and we chose a long engagement. We were engaged last Christmas, and we wont be married till Oct. 07. It is hard to wait, but it has been fabulous to be able to do deposits and book things with plenty of time to come up with the money. Another benefit is very few people book a year in advance- so our date is always open with vendors. It is hard, but I would say if you do the courthouse wedding, the most you can expect to do in the future is a reception. I also have read that it is inappropriate to ask guests to bring presents to a wedding/reception that is an after the fact event. Also, when would you celebrate your anniversary?
Helzberg offers credit cards with 6 months on interest, that helps alot with paying of wedding sets, ebay has wonderful bulk decorations, invitations, and favors that are cheap. Another great source of help has been the 'Weddings on a Budget' book.
By the way-OF COURSE your fiance wants to do the courthouse thing- that is less expensive and WAY less work, all the 'less' that men love!
2006-12-21 05:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont go into serious hock for a wedding you can not afford right now. If it is important to you to have your family there, then go for it. It really will mean the worl to your grandma to see you get married. However, you special day can still be special. Instead of city hall you can get a Justice of the Peace of a non-denomination minister to perform a ceremony. You can do it in a garden or a backyard, a park, the beach and have your family there to see it and share it with you. I just got married 2 months ago, and as we got closer to the wedding I really started feeling like it was not about us as a couple anymore, it was about this big whoo-haa we were throwing. I was sort of sad, because to me the most important part of the wedding day is the commitment you are making to one another. I did not want to loose focus on that. If you have a secret ceremony ahead of time, enjoy it, it will be special too!
2006-12-21 09:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by fortillfriday 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your day will be special even if you have it at the courthouse. The whole point is the marriage, you wanting a nice wedding is a fantasy most females have.
Whatever you do do not get married and not tell people tell you have the big one...This will peeve off everyone. Its OK they know and that you are have a vow renewal.
For rings just get bands, later you can get something with a stone in it...That you can do for under 100 dollars....Don't go into debt buying a ring on credit...
2006-12-21 02:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could still go ahead and have a small wedding with just your family, and have it in a church, & you can find all kinds of wedding things on ebay, flowers, dresses, almost all the stuff you would need.
Just remember, it doesnt matter what kind of wedding you have, as long as you love each other.
Then when you have enough money for a big fancy wedding, you can have that one too...
We got married in front of the mayor in our town, me, him and my daughter, and it was MUCH better than the whole church wedding that I had previously had, because I knew I found the right one this time.
2006-12-21 02:46:10 · answer #6 · answered by slpkwp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always get a small ceremony like you stated.
Then in a year or so you can renew your wedding vows in a ceremony with lots of people.
As people have said, the wedding is one day, its the marriage that is forever.
I think it will be hard to keep the marriage a secret though. Especially since you'd want to save up for it and that may or may not be a while.
2006-12-21 12:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do the court house thing. You are going to want your first and hopefully last wedding to be great and memorable. What is your rush to get married anyway? You guys should just wait and have a beautiful wedding that you will never forget. I personally would take that money that was going to be spent on an expensive wedding and put it towards something like a house. But that's me, and good luck to you both.
2006-12-21 02:38:41 · answer #8 · answered by JackDaniels024 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you can have a small wedding anywhere nice and it does not have to be the court house.Pick a garden, hotel ballroom or a nicely decorated loft. It can still be beautiful and intimate without the stuffiness of a courthouse.
Websites for nice bridal sets include goldspeed and bluenile.
2006-12-21 09:58:10 · answer #9 · answered by martini_40727 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you want them to see the wedding then go ahead and do it. have the real wedding later. they want to live to see you get married. have the big wedding later and everyone will be happy. you'll have your big wedding and everyone will see you get married before they pass
2006-12-21 02:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋