My siser-in-law just informed me that her sister (and 11 year old son) would be coming in to town tomorrow to stay at her house and visit for a couple weeks. That means they will more than likely be accompanying my brother and sister-in-law to my Mom's house on Christmas day where the family is gathering. My mother is stressing out because none of us have ever met these people and my sister-in-law thinks we should all buy or at least chip in for a gift for her sister and son so that they will have something under the tree that day. I tend to agree with Mom that it should be my bro and sis' in law's responsibility to get them gifts because these relatives are staying at their house. What's the right thing to do? I want to welcome them to Christmas dinner but to expect everyone to buy them gifts?
2006-12-20 18:31:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I did not mean to seem like some kind of cheapskate, I really do know the meaning of the season (for me it's Christ). It's just that I don't have $. What we had we spend on our own children and I don't know but I will think of something. I like the 5 dollar idea. It would break my heart if they didn't have anything to open.
2006-12-20 18:40:14 · update #1
Considering how your sister-in-law just informed you and the family of two of her relatives coming to visit, it could be that she was just informed also. And by her request for gifts for the two of them, from everyone, it could be that they are going through a hard time in life. What better way to get over that, than to visit with someone who cares about you, and whom you trust. So, that could be why she mentioned this so late in the holiday season, it could be news for her as well and without going into detail about her family, she just request that everyone chip in. And remember, you don't have to spend what you don't have. You can very well make a gift, find a gift from the past unopened and unused, kindly pass that on, or go to the local Dollar Tree/99 Cent Store and make a grab bag of gifts that anyone can use...such as toothpaste, toothbrush, lotion, anything that you might like, others just might also..and remember...it's the thought that counts...Baking foods or making something with your own hands shows them that they are welcomed within your family. Enjoy and Be Safe....(smiles)
2006-12-20 18:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since this is so sudden, you certainly can't be expected to get them gifts. I make it a habit though, to keep gifts around just for stuff like this- things like nice gloves, wallets, jewelery, art books, bath and bodyworks stuff, etc, that can be given to anyone.
I do think it is very rude of your sister in law to actually voice the opinion that you should give gifts, though. She warned you they were coming- now the ball is in your court. I think if one or two people give gifts it'll be good enough- i mean you haven't even met them, right? So let it be an opportunity to get to know them and become friends, and if they don't have quite as many gifts as everyone else, well, if they're decent people that shouldn't matter so much. This will be pretty hard on them, too, since they don't know anyone, especially the son. Does your family do stockings with small gifts in them? I'd just get one for each of them, and that'll make it clear that you're welcoming them without breaking the bank.
2006-12-20 18:49:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your SIL should have gifts for her sister and nephew at her house to be opened that morning with her family.
At your Mom's house I think the gift opening should focus on the kids. It won't take much to get another gift for the 11 yo.
And more importantly is how they are welcomed and included in the other family activities on Christmas Day.
2006-12-20 20:37:30 · answer #3 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your sister -in-law if she has gifts for them, she more than likely does and tell her to bring them christmas day or to get something small inexpensive to bring that day because everyone else will be opening presents and we don't want them to be excluded. You could always go to a cheap discount store buy a few things that are inexpensive. it's the thought that counts right? you weren't expecting them, it's not a big deal. communicate with your sister in law and brother about this.
2006-12-20 18:36:37 · answer #4 · answered by Monica_PS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could do what my former MIL always did. She had a boy gift and girl gift that she kept wrapped in a closet. They were always under $5 but were usually something quite neat like a small manual game (think pegboard games) or a little perfume bottle. She was never caught off guard in that respect and the gifts were always something that would amuse any age.
For only $5 it is worth it to me to look like a good hostess. As for who's responsibility is it, you could force the SIL and her husband to pay for it, but for a total of $10 why would you?
***after your update***
You don't have to buy one EVERY year, if you don't use it this year, save it for next...just remember where you put it LOL
2006-12-20 18:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by Star 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh c'mon, it's Christmas! Whether what they did was right or wrong, wouldn't it just be nice for everyone to have a wonderful holiday. Try buying a generic little gift for them so they don't feel left out. Atleast for the little boy's sake: How will he feel when all the other kid's get to open presents and he doesn't have anything?
2006-12-20 18:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ti's the season of giving. I would just get them something nice that they would hopefully enjoy and be done with it. You don't have to go all out, just some nice little trinket would probably be best. The worst that can happen is they don't like your gift, this is better than them standing around looking like some sort of third wheel on Christmas day.
2006-12-20 18:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by Memnoch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI, If anyone should be buying gifts it is the family that is coming into town and staying for a couple of gifts. They should be giving hostess gifts to anyone that they stay with and they should not expect any gifts from anyone except maybe their sister, depending on what their family plans are for gift giving. The rest of you should not feel obligated to buy them anything. Opening up your homes and making them feel welcome is enough of a gift. After all, they are the ones that are imposing.
2006-12-20 18:37:43 · answer #8 · answered by sunshinesue_1999 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. Your sister-in-law and your bro should be the ones buying them the gifts. Your mom and you would have done your part by including them in your family dinner. That, to me is being very gracious already.
2006-12-21 03:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whilst i'm homestead on my own... and my mothers and fathers are out, in specific circumstances unpredicted visitors knock like thrice. yet I style of run into the kitchen and close the door so in the event that they tried to look interior the direction of the window they definately does no longer see me... LOL you will desire to work out me however.. i panic and pass into the kitchen. Time to h ide!!! If this is a relative like my uncle he in basic terms is provided in any respect.
2016-12-11 13:28:53 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋