Ok, this is a tough one. My father died 2 1/2 years ago, I was really close to him, but unfortunately I wasn't there when he passed away, and 3 days later my sisters husband called and told me. NOT ONE of my brothers and sisters (I have 10) or my mother called me, then or since. I was REALLY pissed off, and even if they didn't call because they knew I wouldn't take the news well is no excuse for not calling. I was devastated, not only did I have no one to talk to at all during my grief for my dad, I also spent the last 2 Christmas's alone, while my kids went to my mom's to celebrate.
I've been really disappointed in my mom, I'd always had a good relationship with her, or so I'd thought.
She phoned today, left a message inviting me to Xmas dinner on Xmas day, but I've already invited a friend who has a son and no where else to go for dinner, and my husbands son is coming also. What do I do now? I want my family back, but is this invite enough?Do I have to cancel my own plans now?
2006-12-20 17:50:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
One of the things that are holding me back is the fact that she left a message, and now if I call, it will be almost like making the first call. She got off easy because when I saw her number I froze and didn't know what to do, so I didn't answer it. No mention was made about an apology, and my sister (who is 2 yrs older) has been a real b*tch through it all, will be there too, and I don't need her crap. Inviting her to my house would never work, and I can't drag all my guests to her small home. I think this is the WRONG time to do this, what was wrong with every other day of the year? Why 4 days before Xmas? I don't think I owe it to her to drop everything at the last minute.
2006-12-20 18:28:02 · update #1
I am in a similar situation where my mom as yet to call (over three years with no contact.) Well, her new mother-in-law sent me a Christmas card this year and it made me angry all over again. I thought I had put all the issues in their place.
Anyway, it seems you want to get back with your family and most likely get some answers (do not use this holiday invite for answers - inquire another day, enjoy the time with your family for now.)
Explain to your husband, his son, your friend, etc... that you have to go to your mom's. They should understand your feelings; they are your family and friends after all. I would not suggest bringing them all to your mom's because you never know how things are gonna turn out. If you can fit in two Christmas gatherings that would be best.
Talk with husband, his support will help very much.
Lose the negativity. Do you want to reconnect or not? It doesn't matter who makes the official first call - it's better to act now than regret later. Maybe she waited so late to invite you because she was afraid or any number of possibilities.
2006-12-20 18:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about calling your mom back explaining the situation about the plan already in place but that you appreciate the call and the invite and could it be possible to get together at a separate time? How about a Christmas eve get together? If that doesn't sound good, the family relationship is probably of more importance to work on do you live close enough to go to that get together and change the schedule with your guests? Maybe they come over on Christmas eve? Good luck though.
2006-12-20 17:55:16 · answer #2 · answered by jamesnjenifer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm a kindergarten teacher and i had 2 1/2 year-olds calling me 'mom' , 'dad' or using their parents' first name to call me. it's normal and it usually happens to children who are very sociable and warm.people who are called 'mom' by your kid should take it as a compliment:-) this is not a sign that he doesn't make the difference between you and the others. he just doesn't understand what 'mom' means. in his mind there is a clearly delimited place for you, your husband and other people. but he just doesn't have the words for that. he switched from 'dada' to 'mom' because he spends most of the time with you. don't worry. everything's just fine. there's a lot of time for your son to get it more accurate:) right now he's 'lost in translation'. good luck!
2016-05-23 04:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by Elizabeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this issue is to far from being settled, and now is not a good time to try to do it. Phone back and say sorry I already made plans for Christmas that can not be changed, but how about we get to gether between Christmas and New Years, That way you have an out for Xmas day and an In for getting the issues settled
2006-12-20 18:54:35 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call your mother back, explain that you've invited some friends over for dinner, but perhaps you could all go to your mom's for dinner instead? Sounds like she is extending the old olive branch. You should make sure she understands you aren't brushing her off.
2006-12-20 17:54:27 · answer #5 · answered by Penny P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a sad thing to hear. Call your Mom and tell her your already committed to Christmas at home this year and invite her to have Christmas with your family.
2006-12-20 17:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by D.B. Cooper 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You only have one mother....I lost my 12 year old daughter...i know your pain....I understand why they tried to spare you the pain but they made the wrong decision...everybody makes mistakes and we can't change the past....we can't change our mistakes..I would never choose a friend over My mother even if there was a fall out...it could be your mothers last Christmas...you never know....something might happen?...Please forgive.....it will make life easier.....think of your kids.......Maybe invite all or just call her and telll her you love her and you can't make it...but please forgive her....tell her you love her....thank you
2006-12-20 18:08:15 · answer #7 · answered by hatchetmistress 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The more the merrier is what ive always been told..take your friend and her child with you..enjoy the holidays.
2006-12-20 17:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by INFINITE CONSCIOUSNESS 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to your mom's dinner and have a reunion with your family. reschedule your own party.
2006-12-20 18:17:00 · answer #9 · answered by FairGround 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋