Loaning clothes & not getting them back, ever have that happen?

Question

My 13 year old loaned a jacket to a friend last week because she didn't have a jacket & was cold (my daughter had 2 in her backpack). She finally asked for it back this past Monday & her friend told her that she thinks it's in her house somewhere. Well, here it is Wednesday night & she has gotten so many stories - it's in the wash, I think I Ieft it the P.E. locker at school, my parents have been helping me search the house be I can't find it. This girl was suppose to bring it to school tonight & didn't. On the way home my daughter called her, asked for the jacket & the girl's response was "why do you even want the stupid thing?"

I'm starting to think that this girl is either totally irresponsible & is clueless as to what she did with the jacket or she liked it so much (practically new) that she wanted to keep it.

What would you do as a parent? I don't want to step on anyone's toes but I'm just a tad bit pissed off since it's practically new!

Thanks for your advise!

My daughter now wants to stop being friends with this girl, doesn't want to talk to her, look at her, etc. I told her that this girl could make her life miserable in junior high & it's best to just blow this off as a lesson learned & not let others borrow clothing again.

The girl definately has her own jacket, several. Her parents are loaded (wish I were!) and she basically get's everything she wants.

Answer 1

Have been in this same situation too many times! Call or leave a message asking the parents if they could look, many times the teen may say their parents know...bit they do not! Also if they can not find it, I always take it as the lenders responsibilty, I would not ask someone to replace it, this should teach your daughter that many friends esp. in high school will use abuse & steal from a friendship & not o borrow!

Answer 2

I would personally call the parents and say that your daughter would like to come over with in an hour or two and get her jacket and you would like to know her address so you won't take a long time getting there.

Say it nice, pleasently.

If you already know where this girl lives, I would rephrase that and say that I will be swinging by with in an hour or two, and calling to confirm you are home as we will be in the area.

If the mother refuses, I would seriously call the cops.

My mom called the cops on what I thought was my best friend in 4th grade. I let a friend stay the night finally as I got to at her house. She said she "forgot something" in my room when we were taking her back home. She went into my room with her bag and came out. I didn't think anything of it!

come to find out, my game boy (first edition that is now a collectors item that is worth some money), barbies that is as old as my mom, some clothes, some jewelry and some other items I don't remember was missing when I was re-arragning my room the next night.

I called her and asked if she "borrowed" it. She cried no and kept saying no etc. My mom had an instinct she stole it. My mom had the cops at the house and the cop said the mother claimed that it was her daughter right to keep it as it was in her possession now!!! Her mom is a drug addict in and out of prison that seriously allowed her to watch porno's (I was spending the night that night and found that extremly disturbing). My mom was shocked and forbid me from her etc.

To end the story, sometimes parents allow their children to do such things.

I learned my lesson on allowing people to borrow. If they don't return, when I now do, depending on expensive and what it is, I will get law envolved and friendship ends.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

if you daughter doesn't want to talk to the other girl anymore I'm sure its goes way deeper than a jacket.... clothes to a kid isn't worth losing a friend over.... I'm sure there is way more behind your daughters problem try to get her to talk about it with you. if your daughter insist its over the jacket than call the other girls parent and tell them you need the jacket back.. explain to them it was new and your child needs it. i mean really if the other girl lost it.. it would only be right for them to replace it or offer you money for the lost.....

Answer 5

I would call the girl's parents and explain what is going on!!! Your daughter let the girl borrow it not to have...right? If she lost it then I would ask the parents to replace it...if they do not, there is not very much you can do about it! I would advice your daughter, although she was being nice, not to loan her things out. And, if the other girl refuses to give or replace the jacket, then I would not allow your daughter to hang out with her anymore!!!

Answer 6

A situation like this happened to me when I was 15. I loaned a friend some items and she was talking a long time to return the items. One excuse after another. One night a little while later, she stayed the night and forget some items at my house. When she asked for me to return them, I told her that she needed to return my items first. She told her mom that she didn't have any thing of mine and her mom ended up calling the cops. I told the cop that she had items of mine and was not returning them, so I was not going to return her items until I received mine. I ended up returning the items to the cop and she was told to bring my items to school the next day and return them to me. The cop told me that if she didn't return the items to me, to give them a call. She did return all but one of the items. At that point I decided to drop it and just not be friends with her anymore.


I would take the issue first to her parents, and if they are unwilling to cooperate, you need to decide whether to take the issue further (cops) or drop it. I would not let your daughter continue being friends with her, if the issue doesn't get resolved with the parents. Your daughter doesn't deserve to be treated like that for whatever reason!!!

Answer 7

I wouldnt call her parents, I would go to their house. Id say hi im so and sos mom and my daughter let your daughter borrow her new jacket the otehr day and I would like ot have it back please. Seeing as how hr parents are "loaded" then they can either A) make the girl give it up or give it to you if they know where it is or B) Pay you what you paid for it so your daughter can have another one. Personally it sounds like this girl is spoiled and runs over people and has just run over your daughter. SO go to her house and talk to her parents.

Answer 8

Teach your daughter not to let the wrong people "borrow" her things, this habit might eventually grow if she doesn't know any better.

Talk to the other girls parents, the adults should probably solve this matter. I don't think young girls will be able to end this in the best way possible. Try to end this whole situation in a good manner. It's not nice having enemies.

Answer 9

Hmmm....it sounds like the girl may not HAVE a jacket of her own. Or maybe somebody in her house took it. Something strange is indeed going on. You should talk to the girl's parents.

Answer 10

thats happened to me and friends wit our other friend named alexis. she would ask to borrow something and we never get it back we finally got a shirt back 4 yrs later. and waiting on a jacket its been 1 yr. and who knos how many other clothes she has from us. we just don't let her borrow anything from us anymore. im still waiting on my pen too, she took that today in math class. if that girl can't give the stuff back she borrowed don't loan anything out to her again.