I got a girl preg and she told me she didnt want it, now i find shes keeping it, what should i do?

Question

So I was dating this girl for a few weeks and we hooked up one time. We didn't use protection but she took the morning after pill but still got pregnant. We talked about it and she agreed that neither of us could afford it and her parents would kick her out. Now a couple months later I hear that shes telling her friends she has decided to keep it. She has not told me yet. I emailed and called her but have not heard back yet. What do I do? Do i try to convince her to get an abortion? We are both 23 and still in colleg and theres no way we could support it. Not to mention we aren't seeing eah other anymore and I am now in a commited relationship (she doesn't know about the pregnancy.) I am freaking out here and any advice would be appreciated. Feel free to conatact me. I need all the support I can get.

Answer 1

Could she be lying? There are lots of girls who are drama queens and would say this for attention. If not you have an obligation to this child. If she is talknig about keeping the child a couple months later, it means she's at least 3 months pregnant and I think that's too far along for an abortion. Also, an abortion is not an easy thing to do. It isn't like cancelling insurance. You are killing a person and you I can't imagine you could really forgive yourself. Adoption is a better alternative.

BUT if she has not returned your calls or emails, maybe she doesn't want you as part of the child's life, or, more likely, you aren't the father.

Before you have a total melt down (which is understandable), you need to confirm: 1. she IS pregant and 2. it's yours.

If you only had sex once and she took the morning after pill, the chances are very slim she was impregnated by you that night.

My husband told me while we were dating that he "might" have a kid out there. He dated a girl and she moved away and the rumours were that she left b/c she was pregnant. He didn't know if it were true or not. We haven't had any kid show up on our step looking for their daddy but I really appreciated his honestly. It told me that he was committed to our relationship by airing his dirty laundry. It showed he trusted me too. I would talk to your girlfriend. It is a good way to see if this is "the" girl. If she's "the one", she'll be supportive and understand. Let this be a lesson though- Use condoms!!

Answer 2

Be a man!! You had sex and being 23 you should know what could happen... You should support her in every way that you can... Abortion is not the answer... As for your girlfriend let her know when you are sure your ex is pregnant if shes not that that may just cause problems between the two of you... If she is pregnant and does not think she can afford the baby you two can always give the child up for adoption!!!! Alot of people are not as lucky--- some would love to have a child..

Answer 3

I understand why you are freaking out, but try not to. You need to stay collected. You may be a father soon and have someone else to think about besides yourself. You cannot make her have an abortion and it may not even be legal now depending on how far along she is. Get ready for the child support court order once the kid is born. Even if you are in school, you will be expected to pay child support, that is just the way that it is. You have the right to a paternity test also, and I would request one if I were you. Once you know for sure that she is having the baby, you need to tell your girlfriend. this is not the kind of thing that you try and hide.

Answer 4

First, tell your new girl. She deserves to know she's dating a possible father.

Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you because she feels you tried to pressure her into not having the baby. If this is true, stay away. She doesn't need you right now. If you do want the baby (financial considerations aside), then talk to the mother. If she won't answer your calls, meet her after class, sit on the hood of her car, whatever. Tell her you're scared, but that you'll be there for the baby. Ask her what she needs and how you can help. Then listen to what she has to say. You might have to suck it up and finish college as a part-time student while working full time. Bottom line is, your one mistake cost you (and her) big time. Once you can get her to talk to you, you should both pay a visit to your campus counselor, who can direct you to the right people. You seem to be looking for a way for your life to stay the same. It won't. Good luck to both of you, and please approach this as a compassionate, sensitive person.

Answer 5

I've thought about abortion and decided against it... it's normal to agree to an abortion and decide that you can't go through with it. I would love to see a man have to sit in an abortion clinic with tons of other people there and protesters, knowing he was about to terminate a HUMAN LIFE that does not belong to him, put on a gown, walk in an operation room, spread his legs and allow a doctor to suck a beating heart out. What if your mother decided to have an abortion?! You wouldn't be here so I'd thank your lucky stars every day that you were even given the chance to live and be 23 and in college...have some sympathy for your own child and the life that belongs to HIM/HER. If you are not ready to be a parent, quit having sex! NO PROTECTION IS 100% EFFECTIVE!
It's because of people like you that there are fatherless, troubled children out there. There is a reason why children need both a mother and father... think about the mental and emotional effects not having one of your parents can have on a person. You are selfish and I dont know how you sleep peacefully at night...

Answer 6

1. Condoms are WAY cheaper than babies, keep that in mind.
2. It's her body, she has to carry and give birth to the child. So if she decides to keep it, unfair as it may sound, she has the legal right to press you for support since you helped put it there. I know in some places you can go to court and try to have her NOT have an abortion, but you can't make her get rid of the baby.
3. Spill the beans to the new sweetie and face whatever comes to you. That's part of being an adult. You're 23 or crying out loud.

Answer 7

First of all I don't believe abortion is the answer it is not the baby's fault and there are plenty of loving mature adults who have been waiting years to adopt a child and that can give that child a good life. You need to talk to your ex and get a paternity test set up and let your current girlfriend know now that you may possibly have a child w/ this girl because it is better to be upfront with her instead of her hearing about it from someone else.

Answer 8

You are an adult so you should own up to your responsibility. I was 17 when I got pregnant. Of course it is a scary time in your life and hers. But having an abortion shouldn't be an option. There is adoption. Oh by the way my daughter is 17 now and I'm 35. She is the most important thing in my life. I had to grow up fast and so did her dad. We have been married for 12 years. Good luck.

Answer 9

1) You need to tell your current girlfriend.. Explain to her the whole situation.
2) You need to someway contact the ex-girlfriend. Since you cant reach her by phone or email, then pay her a visit.
3) You need to establish that the child is yours.
4) You need to find a part time job to start saving money for baby supplies at your place.
5) You have no obligation to support her, only your child. Set up child support through the state, and make sure the monitor that she spends it on the child, not herself.
I do hope that this is a lesson learned to you. I am 23 years old, and raising my son by myself. I have no help from the father because the father skipped. If you think you're mature enough to have unprotected sex, you're mature enough to raise a child. I think that you need to continue college, so you can provide a better life for this child. I wish you luck and hope that everyones guidance can help you make the right decision for you. Just do not punish the child, for yours and hers wrong doing

Answer 10

take responsibility for your actions, you do not destroy a life simply because it got inconvienient for you to deal with.

let her have the baby, support her as much as you can, if she discovers there is actual responsibility with a baby and it's to much for her, then consider adoption now.
The baby inside life may be of little worth to you, but to a couple who cannot have children naturally and to God, that is a very special and precious life. Both of you get together, talk and be resonable, adoption is always an option, but not a careless one, set it up and make the decision for the childs best interest not your own. A good thing Your creator didn't have the attitude of "it's a hassle I'll just kill it". Be a good man, this will always follow you in your life. Killers are a dime a dozen.