We attended a wedding last month and forgot to bring the card with the check in it. I just tracked down the newlywed's address last week and was going to mail the card, and a day later received a thank you note for our generous gift! What is the proper etiquette? Obviously I'm going to send the card/check, but do I attach a note saying that she might have overlooked someone elses gift? My husband thinks we are off scott-free, keep the check and thank our lucky stars. What should I do?
2006-12-20 16:26:34 · 17 answers · asked by blue_eyed_girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm with your husband on this one- consider yourself lucky!
2006-12-20 16:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by littledreamergirl 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
The bride and groom should not have sent a Thank you note without knowing whether they had even received a gift or not.The Thank you cards should also say what they are thanking you for the specific item that was given or what the plans are if they were given cash/check.
Because you had not given a gift at the time the Thank You cards were mailed, I would guess that maybe the bride wrote up the same note for everyone who attended, and did not make her thank you cards personalized, OR
maybe she sent the card to you as a "guilty reminder" to send a gift. Which is very rude, and could have been handled tactfully ( by sending a thank you for your prescence instead of your presents!! )
SO - I think that your husband is correct keep the check. If you send the gift check now and the newlyweds had assumed they already received one then they are going to feel very awkard. You can make them feel awkard for a lot less money.
PS.. if the non received gift is ever brought up in a conversation for some unlikely reason -then you can just say that you thought your husband had sent a gift and he thought you did, after all you received a very nice thank you card....
2006-12-20 17:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by sumwhereupnorth 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
They might of just sent out thank-you cards to everyone who attended. Send the check with a note saying that you forgot to leave this for them at the wedding. I don't know what the proper etiquette is, but if you send it they will probably realize their mistake. At least you will feel good knowing that they received a gift from you.
2006-12-20 16:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by Peace 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I definitely think you should send the check with an explanation...they may have overlooked someone else's gift, like you said, and that person might not be getting a thank you. Say it in a joking manor, so the couple doesn't get offended or feel bad...they will probably call or write another note acknowledging the mishap.
2006-12-20 21:10:48 · answer #4 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe how people make such idiots of themselves when they get married, these days.
Yes, you probably should tell them they might have gotten confused and overlooked someone else's gift. However, it sounds like they did not keep a thorough listing of gifts received and from whom and when thank you notes were sent so even if you send them this note, they won't have much luck of tracking down where their mistake was.
2006-12-22 18:04:14 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BOO to your husband. I'd do what you suggest, and that is send the card/check with a little note about a possible overlooked gift.
2006-12-21 04:43:38 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true--the bride is supposed to mention the gift item, specifically, in a thank you, which means that she tried to take the easy way out and probably has no idea what you supposedly gave her. Try this: tell her you haven't gotten your cancelled check back yet and you are concerned because you want to make sure she had no problem negotiating it--after all, you want her to enjoy her gift. See what she says.
Don't be sorry you didn't take the gift to the wedding--etiquette allows up to a year to give a gift (three months to send a thank you) and it should be sent to the bride's home, not the ceremony.
2006-12-20 17:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by Pythonette 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Send them the cheque in the post with a lovely card, and just add a little note saying that you did not get a chance to hand the card to them on the day, say thank you for their card, if the people are your friends they will laugh it all off.
2006-12-20 19:15:39 · answer #8 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this was either their way of letting you know that they did not recieve a card or gift from you, and are waiting for you to respond by throwing the ball back in your court. I would send my card and SMALL gift, not necessarily money, along with an apology for forgetting the card with your gift at the time of the wedding and mention that there is no need for a thank you as you already recieved a note stating they recieved your "GENEROUS gift", thereby putting the ball back in their court......shame on them if they just mindlessly sent thank you's to all guest's that attended the wedding without reading the card and noting what was given to them, what did they do, rip open the cards, take the cash and run, how selfish of them to not acknowledge each persons gift. I would not worry about who they forgot to send that thank you to, because it wasn't that important to them, and who know's it might not have been a"cash" gift that was given!!!
2006-12-20 16:54:13 · answer #9 · answered by MiMi 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Someone forgot to pay attention to the gifts during that wedding celebration. It happens.
They must have asked around your other friends who knows you were simply giving them money.
They must have not remembered at all if you gave them the money already or not.
Honesty is good. Like you said, she just may have overlooked somebody else's gift.
2006-12-20 16:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by QuiteNewHere 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes u should send the gift with a card saying that they got the wrong person.
2006-12-20 16:38:48 · answer #11 · answered by vavane d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋