well we had to handle some business (me and my ex bf) and well we broke up in a good way but i had not seen him in like 2 months and well we lived together and things were great until any other realtionship we got tired of each other and fought too much so HE broke up with me and I had no choice but to move on. Today we saw eachother and i was trying to be strong and act normal, but he broke down saying he missed me and he hugged me alot, he had teary eyes and just said how rough it has been lately.That broke me inside and i just gave in too. one thing led to another and we had sex. i know we will never get back together if it was up to me we would be. but obviously he doesnt feel anything because he just said that it he had made a choice and that he had to be strong and stick to it. I didnt try to and act out how i really felt but I cried when i drove him back. now i feel crummy like i am back to the beggining of the break-up. How can I get over this one now? I am completely confused
2006-12-20 16:13:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I dont know if i should try to work things out with him, I wish I can tell him how i feel but i cant find the words. He has lots of problems and says he is not able to make me happy ( his business is doing bad) plus we are 10 yrs diff (Im 20; hes30) and well I feel like maybe with time thngs will get better . How should I handle this should I try? If so what can I do in my part to make him realize that it wont be the same. I just feel all lost. I have a feeling he still loves me but can commit..i dunno im just being stupid now Help me with this give me any advice
2006-12-20 16:17:37 · update #1
Dear Princess,
Breaking up hurts, it just does. There is no shame in what you did. When you have given yourself to another person emotionally and sexually, there are strong emotional bonds that may take a long time to get over. I don't blame either one of you for having sex. You both know that the relationship has "ended," but that doesn't mean that you two don't feel strong feelings for each other. Think of it like a trick birthday candle that you keep blowing out, but it ignites immediately. What do you have to do to keep it out? Don't you have to dunk it in water, or pinch the wick with your fingers until it is "finally" out? I think your relationship with your ex-boyfriend is like that. It may continue to "ignite" until one of you 'dunks it under water' so to speak, and says,
"dear ______, what we did the other day is understandable and completely forgiveable. However, I think we both know that's it's over don't we? So, please do not be offended if I do not acknowledge you when I see you. Please do not be offended if I do not speak to you or wave to you or even turn my head when I happen to see you. In order for us to both heal from this, we cannot see eachother again. Breaking up was hard for you to do. I do not blame you. In fact, if you had not done it, I would have had to do it. We were just not meant for each other. I will always remember you with fondness and will think of you as a great "gift" given to me. But, it's over now, and I ask that you respect my right to heal as I will respect yours. Perhaps in a year or two it will not hurt either of us to wave to each other if we see each other, but until I tell you otherwise, please do not contact me. God Bless etc.
Good Luck to you! Please allow yourself to hurt. It just hurts like hell! Let yourself cry and cry until you're done. Don't let anybody tell you "it's time you moved on" etc., "start dating" etc. When you hurt like you do, you want to come out of it in a healthy way. If you jump right into another relationship, you will carry into that new relationship, all the baggage from this relationship. So, be kind to yourself. When you hurt, hurt all over. Get mad, cry, do whatever you need to do, for as long as you need to do it. And, when you feel like you're "done," you will be. You'll be ready to move on in your life. The longer you were together the longer the hurt will take to heal. Give it time, be patient. I feel for ya! God Bless!
2006-12-20 16:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by KevinMack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to other guys/friends, and hang out with them. Spend some time doing other things like focusing on your career, education, etc. Start dating other guys so that eventually the memory of him probably won't go away, but you will be content in life because you are occupying yourself with other things that make you happy. Eventually you'll me someone who makes you even happier, but it might take a minute. For the meantime, just push the thought of him to the back of your head. I know it will be hard and you will keep thinking about him because I've been there, but after some time you'll finally get over him and move on. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want a part of your time except to get in your pants. Spend some time with someone who shares your common interests and make you laugh. Good luck!
2006-12-20 16:23:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you just got played girl!!
So it was all good, and lovey and felt like the old days, you had sex and then what?? He went cold again? Up and left?? He got what he came for hunny.
THis guy will keep playing your strings because he already knows how you feel. He dumped you remember. Its natural to still be attracted to him and have deep feelings for him. And its hard to let them all go. Unfortunately the only way you are going to get over this guy is to get him out of your life completely. I know I have been in the same place recently. I saw my ex for the first time in 2 yrs and same old thing. But I'm glad I was strong enough to call it off before we had sex again. Big mistake.
Sorry I can't be more help. Good Luck
2006-12-20 16:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by loza500 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Stop kicking yourself...we all make mistakes. Time will be your best friend when it comes to getting over someone. It isn't that you want him back it is that you want the familiar back. Its time to start exploring the new and fresh...yes it is difficult and hard to do at times...but once you put forth the effort the sooner you can have a new love....good luck.
2006-12-20 16:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by MARY L 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh Crap! You're gonna have join me in listening to "Men Hating" Songs. We gotta. No love songs or anything sweet and remenensing..... Stay strong, go shopping- BLAST on the radio the song "CRAZY B**ch" only sing it like this, :I"M A CRAZY B, I F so good, YOU're on top of it" blablabla..... And then think.... poor guy, I actually feel sorry for HIM now!
2006-12-20 16:20:37 · answer #5 · answered by littledreamergirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well first off stop having sex with him ---- it only makes it worse and he thinks he can get away with it --- he does not respect you so delete way he has of contacting you and move on --- find someone else
2006-12-20 16:18:43 · answer #6 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ur in fking trouble. i cant read the whole thing, go to a bar get drunk
2006-12-20 20:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by ill take it straight with no ice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get a dub of bud..... pack the bong and get high..... it'll give you a very new very good perspective on life....
2006-12-20 16:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by bongtokingsk8er 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋