How do you tell your boyfriend that you dont want him to do something without starting a fight?

Question

I want to spend new years eve with him. He has been gone for a week and wont be back till christmas and then he wants to leave again to see some people that he just saw last week. Im hurt, how can i tell him that i want to spend that holiday with him without him calling me selfish or bossy. I dont think im being unfair but im scared he will get defensive and we will get in an arguement :(

Answer 1

I think the only way to do this is by telling your boyfriend that you would really like to spend New Year's Eve with him and that it would mean a lot to you if he could agree to hang out with the other people another time since he just got back from being with them.Tell him you are just being honest about how you are feeling and hope that he can understand your point of view on the situation.

I hope this helps even in the slightest..good luck

Answer 2

You aren't being selfish or bossy at all. It is perfectly normal to want to spend the holidays with you bf. Usually both partners want to be together for the holidays, it sounds like he is the selfish one. The only thing you can do is tell him how you feel and that you really wanna be with him. See what he says and don't argue with him. If he doesn't wanna be with you, then it might be a good idea to really look at your relationship and see if that is the type of person you want to be with.

Answer 3

Why don't you tell him you'd like to go with him to see these other people. Then you get to spend time with him, and he gets to see his friends at the same time. Its New Year's. GO Party!

If that isn't an option, sit down and explain to him how you feel. Don't raise your voice, and whatever you do don;t TELL him he CAN"T go or NOT to do something. He is a man, he will instinctively rebel and want to go even more.

But have you sat back and thought to yourself that maybe there are other reasons he would rather spend his New Years elsewhere? Sounds to me like your man is not as interested as he once was. Maybe you need to find yourself a man who does want to spend the special occasions with you.

Answer 4

I'm trying my best to give you a solution here so here it is. If you're afraid that he might get defensive,ask yourself first. Did he get defensive before when you talked to him? Tell him that you're sorry for telling him that you want to spend time with him on new year's eve and he should understand that it's not easy for you to approach him and tell him either. If he truly loves you,he wouldn't mind instead he appreciate it. He can't blame you because it's natural for any woman wanting to spend time with her guy more. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

I would try wearing something sexy and give him lots of attention. Cuddle, kiss, whatever and then get pouty in the cute kind of way and tell him that you miss him and want to spend the holiday with him right when he's really hot. If he's really into you he won't be able to resist and will either stay with you or take you with him.

Answer 6

Ever heard of, "What you are doing speaks so loudly that I can't hear what you are saying"?

I think your boyfriend may be stringing you along. Sounds to me that his friends are much more important than what he might be telling you when he wants to be intimate with you.

It is perfectly appropriate for you to want to be with him on New Year's Eve. A real boyfriend wouldn't leave his girl alone on that night.

I say that if you have a chance to spend it with someone else, tell him that it's OK for him to be with his friends - you've found another date for that night.

Answer 7

OK, here you go - calm down before you approach him with this subject. Why don't you suggest that you go with him? If that is not possible suggest splitting his holiday time up between you and his friends, sounds as if some compromising may help.
As you get older you will learn that arguing with a man is useless. Too much drama.

Answer 8

when friends are more important ... and you can't talk to him without an argument ... I'd say it's the beginning of the end. Don't let yourself be the back up for when he "needs you" It's no way to have a relationship ... and New Years is the night when your supposed to kiss that special person at the stroke of midnight!!!

Answer 9

talk to him or dump him/ or he ceating on or tell him baby that can we stop fighting because you hreat me or we cant be together if he hits you mak sure that you have you phone by u and call and dont tell him but first kiss him and make love then tell him

Answer 10

talk to him kindly or write and email or letter. if he's the kind of person who likes honesty, then just tell him in a straightforward way and he'll appriciate that.