My mother-in law lives 20 minutes away and never comes to see her grandchildren or call to see how they are. When they do see her, which is problely once every six months, she showers them with gifts and lectures them like she has actually been there for them and cares.
2006-12-20 16:02:58 · 19 answers · asked by goodgrlelectric2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is just buying off her guilt. I am a grandmother of 8 and try to see my grandchildren at least once a week. I love to buy them gifts but they know that is just my way. They know I deeply love them because of how I am with them. I like to swim with them, read stories, play games or just cuddle. You or your spouse need to talk to granny and set her straight in a positive but tactful way.
2006-12-20 16:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youbetcha! She won't be buying thier love...not to worry. How old are the kids? Kids don't have to be too very old before they start seeing through this ploy.
It may not be the best lesson to teach, but I say let the kids get all they can from good ole' gramma...they might as well get gifts and stuff from her while she's giving. Just don't lie when they ask why she doesn't come visit very often. Kids see through this "money can buy me love" thing very quickly, and soon it won't get Gramma anywhere.
Probably NO to answer your question. It's NOT "acceptable" but there really isn't anything you can do about it except try to teach the kids as things progress that it's not the way to get love in life.
2006-12-21 00:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by tallcowboy0614 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, thats terrible. My family were a lot like that when I was growing up. every year, they'd make their annual "pilgrimage" to our house (which was half an hour from their house), then stuff us with presents as though to make up for their lack of presence in our lives. Then they'd leave after 15 minutes, and tell all their friends about what good grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins they are to us. It was terrible, and now we don't talk to them. The rest of the year, they'd gossip about the family and my mother's parenting skills. Basically, they are awful people, and you are more than entitled to feel annoyed that she's being so awful to your family. But screw her, christmas is coming up, so just enjoy it! :)
2006-12-21 00:19:32 · answer #3 · answered by jemm4president 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd allow the relationships between the children and their grandmother to develop as they will. You can't force her to be a bigger part of their lives. You could keep them from seeing her, but that would only create a bigger problem all the way around.
2006-12-21 00:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you probably don't look at it this way, but showering them with gifts is better than nothing. Also...an absent mother-in-law is many peoples' dream come true.
2006-12-21 00:06:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
kids grow up and realize material objects/money gets ya no where but distance apart. my mom did this while living in same house as me....my older sisters raised me under the roof my parents provided and lived in too. Now I despise my parents! And now my mom is trying it with my kids...the buying and no spending time with them...and she wonders why now they are teens they have nothing to do with her anymore...she cant buy the IPODS and such they want now as they are out of her spending league!
2006-12-21 00:06:08 · answer #6 · answered by any1on 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We ALL know that is not acceptable. But what are you to do? I think talk to her..I dont know her so I cant predict how she will take to this conversation but I think you can be the judge of that! Lay it out there how you feel about it..maybe with ur wife first =]
2006-12-21 00:06:03 · answer #7 · answered by anniie fanniie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept her as she is....at least she brings presents. Just because she doesn't come around doesn't means she does not love them. Some older people don't like to be around children
2006-12-21 00:06:42 · answer #8 · answered by Lolitta 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not really. My father tried to "buy" me, didn't set well. Be a part....I loved it when my mother in law did.
2006-12-21 00:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by cocacolachickee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want someone like that in their lives? I mean, if all she can do is throw money at them, what could she possibly teach them about life? That is what you need to think about.
2006-12-21 00:14:58 · answer #10 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋