nothing is her fault. She feels like the victim when the school disciplines on the playground. I know little girls are about the drama... but is it normal for kids around grade two to think they are never wrong and it is all someone elses fault?
2006-12-20 15:57:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I am wondering if I wrote this question! I have a 7yo daughter, who thinks I am the most stupid person in the world, and that everyone else is in the wrong!!! It has to be normal, or we are mothers of the same child! Remind me, call my mother an apologize!! It has to go away, because otherwise I wouldnt be feeling guilt now. Urgh! How am I going to get through the next 25 years?????
2006-12-21 04:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by thelaundryfairy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me when I say that it was going to definately happen at some age. My 9 yr. old has had it since she was 7. It drives me insane. She doesn't get her homework turned in...it's got to be someone else's fault. When she was seven going on eight it wasn't that bad, but once she was in 3rd grade it was awful!! She seemed to always have homework turned in late, which as you can imagine, caused her grades to drop. At that time however we had some changes around the house so you might want to reevaluate that aspect. Even something that seems little to you might seem huge to her, and she may just be acting out without really realizing it. Luckily for us, my little girl (now big girl...at the old age of 9 if you go off of how she tells it) had alot of family and school help to help her start to learn the meaning of responsibility. I've found it's hard for all kids to learn. At least so far!!
If it continues over a long period of time and you can't find any kind of change that might cause her ANY kind of distress, then I'd probably talk to the school counselor. It can be something as small as losing touch with a good friend. My NOW 7 yr. old is going through problems because her best friend of 2 years is in the other 2nd grade.
I feel your pain wholeheartedly and wish you nothing but luck. In the meantime try to enjoy your holiday with her!
2006-12-21 00:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by live4luve 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal by today's standards of suing people when we spill hot coffee on ourselves. Ridiculous. It's how she has been influenced by others to date. As parents we can show our children how we responsibility for our own actions... it will take time to break your daughter's old habits, but with patience you will see it is worth it.
A friend of mine picked her daughter up from school when she slipped on the ice. A teacher exclaimed, "You poor dear, the ice made you fall." My friend quickly corrected this by telling her daughter the ice made the surface slippery, but she fell because she was running on the ice when she should have walked more carefully. It was in her daughter's best interest to realize that she has some control over what happens and is not at the mercy of everything around her.
There are so many people influencing our children. All we can do is do our best to teach them whenever we see an opportunity.
You have a great start by recognizing there is a problem... and your love for your daughter will guide you on the right path.
2006-12-21 00:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes normal. I have 9 yr old girl that does that still. She says she's not like that but every time she gets reprimanded for ANYTHING the first words out of her mouth are "Well, its not my fault"
Right now I am trying to handle it by pointing out how we need to take responsibility for our actions. I am always on the lookout for stories that illustrate what happens when people avoid taking responsibility. I also point out the lives of people I have known who did this and the negative effects it had. Also I try to teach by example: meaning I will accept and acknowledge when I make a mistake.
2006-12-21 09:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by jabbergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our (almost) 6 yr old son, does that BUT in reverse! He'll take the blame for EVERYTHING! Yep..I did that! Only until he comes home...and then he'll blame everything on his little brother who's almost 3!
The other day I noticed the name" Adam " written across my living room wall in crayon (washable thank goodness!) and it was at Joey's height...oh...Joey doesn't know how to write or spell yet BUT HE DID IT!!
It's amazing the wonderful things our 3 yr old can do...he can also climb up onto the top bunk and push himself down the ladder...he can unplug the tv in Adam's room or dump all of Adam's crayons...while he's napping!! It's a phase and hopefully SHE will out grow it and I hope that my children go through this one quickly!!
2006-12-21 08:31:47 · answer #5 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal. That doesn't make it acceptable or mean that you have to live with it. My older children have all gotten logic discussions when they start the whole "it's not my fault" argument. They outgrow it fairly rapidly when they realize that 1) you aren't buying it and 2) that it doesn't get them anything.
"OH really? Would you mind telling me your side of the story?"
"Really? How did that make you feel?"
"So, why did you decide to do X,Y,Z?"
"How did that work for you?"
"What would have been more appropriate, ie kept you out of trouble?"
There are rules and consequences. It doesn't matter why you break the rules, there are consequences for doing so. Point that out in daily life instead of making excuses. "Gosh sweetie, we were late for our drs appointment because we left too late. Now we have to make another appt" rather than "We would have been on time if it hadn't been for the stupid traffic"
2006-12-21 11:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is extremely common in children. And I ask is your daughter an only child? If so, then I am not surprised. This is not a bad thing, it just an observation I've made as an educator that children who are onlies, tend to feel less blame or sense of ownership for something they do wrong. With onlies, I role play with them. I ask them what did they do, then I act it out with them with me taking the role of the child. Often times, children can recognize inappropriate behavior in others before they can see it in themselves. For many kids like this, as you begin to role play with them, they will begin to see that the world is bigger than what they perceive it to be. And you begin to see a change in them.
2006-12-21 10:37:45 · answer #7 · answered by Meesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that isn't totally unusual as children of that age tend to see the world in a self concentric fashion, so everything is about them and everything that goes on affects them. Not being able to accept blame is the beginning of a child's sense of self, and it could possibly be something learned from the parents, as children basically learn good and bad habits from them at that age. The question to ask, what is the child seeing at home that is causing her to shirk her responsibility for things she may be blameworthy for?
2006-12-21 00:01:28 · answer #8 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh yeah it's normal. I have a 6 yr-old son who does that all the time. She'll grow out of it.
Happy Holidays!
2006-12-21 08:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by Space Cadet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 4 kids, and my youngest is now 7, and yes it is totally normal.
2006-12-21 00:03:50 · answer #10 · answered by proudmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋