Well, I am 17 and my bf and I were "doing stuff" I guess you could say and he did insert his penis into me, but he said that it did not go all the way in. I am so worried that I am not a virgin anymore (he says I am because my cherry didnt pop) but I still want to clarify.
I promised myself that I would not have sex until I am in love.. and honestly, I really do care about this boy but I am not "inlove".... how can I be so irresponsible??
2006-12-20 15:36:59 · 41 answers · asked by melligurl89 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you want to stay a virgin until you are "in love" why are you "doing stuff" like that with a guy you dont love?
breaking your hymen happens to girls from doing a number of things NOT just sex! Some girls break their hymen in gymnastics at a young age. Did they lose their virginity just because their hymen was broken?
Virgin: a person who has not had sexual intercourse
Sexual intercourse:genital contact, esp. the insertion of the penis into the vagina
are you a virgin... no
2006-12-20 15:39:54 · answer #1 · answered by Lola 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sadly while I was typing this you had a lot of unfortunate comments made, and you've realized that technically even long before this event you were not a Virgin. And Just because you didn't feel it doesn't mean it didn't happen - my first time I never felt it either & we did. (has a lot do with Tampons these days) And the mere fact that you have guilt about it indicates that you are no longer as innocent as you once were. (just facts). And always be SAFE, even the cleanest nicest people can be carriers.
The good thing is, you recognize the behavior you had might've been irresponsible, not just due to Society standards but Your own Moral standards. Don't beat yourself up too much, many times when we're carried up in the Adult moment we make poor choices, what you can now do is understand your limitations which might be just Kissing with the lights on or having a chat that states your true feelings. Many Christians and regulars folks do have what we call "2nd Virginity". If in your mind & heart you sincerely intend to keep your virginity then you can carry yourself as such. You may even buy yourself a small promise ring or token to be given away When the time is right..but to be TRUE to yourself. Waiting until you are not just "In love" but sure this "ONE" is both friends/partner should you get cozy. "In love" is merely a stage that lasts for a short while - up to 2yrs and then can fade away. You want to be sure when you "Share" yourself with someone - you are not just sharing your body but Melding your life with theres in some way...sharing a piece...so be certain they are deserving. And it's Always ok to Say NO, you aren't ready..Never let anyone pressure you or think by them saying "they love you" is a reason...it's not!
Hang in there...wipe away those tears... you aren't damaged goods -You're still wonderful & have a whole world of wonderful waiting for you.
2006-12-20 15:51:05 · answer #2 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are feeling the guilt and finding out that boundaries are important for a reason. Being a virgin can be of your heart and can be rectified in your own mind, but only you know how you feel about what happened. Honestly, it is no one elses business and I would not share personal information until you felt that the person you wanted to be with was the right person to share it with. This person will understand you the best because it will come from the heart. Sometimes when a cherry is popped it is with a boys finger. Some women are more sensitive to this tissue tearing than others. Alcohol also plays a large role in this. You should not trust anothers opinion of what happened the night before more than your own. Be care not to get yourself in any bad situations. If you feel like he may not be the one you want the rest of your life than listen to your gut. He's not! Don't settle and don't play life changing games. Its your life and you need to lead it, not be lead!
2006-12-20 15:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Technically not. Once penetration occurs virginity is gone. Some girls break their hymens well before they have sex, but this doesn't mean they're not virgins. In the dictionary, a virgin is defined as "A person who has never had sexual intercourse". And while you may be upset about not being a virgin, I commend you for realizing that this person isn't the one for you and that you do desire to be in love before you go all the way with someone again. Make responsible decisions, be safe, and learn from your mistakes. Everything will be okay.
2006-12-20 15:49:02 · answer #4 · answered by xxhalloqueenxx 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well! You have engaged in sex and even if your hymen was not broken, you were still penetrated by a penis.
My question to you is, Did he use a condom? There are many STD's out there.
Do you have a Doctor that you feel comfortable talking to? If so, please go see her/him and have a honest talk. If you are going to continue having sex, you need to get some protection.
As for being irresponsible, we are all human and make mistakes.
Hormones can go wild, especially in teenagers. You need to be honest with yourself and act accordingly.
Find an adult that you can trust and who you respect and talk to that person about this situation. Good luck and GOD bless!
Have a happy holiday!
2006-12-20 15:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by moonlight_is_harmonious_1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your a good girl. But your not a virgin anymore, I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I lost my virginity when I was 15 to someone I never dated becuase I was so curious about sex. I did it one time with him and that was it. I've done it many times since with someone I've been with for 9 years and have to say, sex gets way better as you get older_I'm 25.
2006-12-20 15:45:58 · answer #6 · answered by ♀ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can say you're a virgin as long as you want, but putting it in perspective... the penis doesn't have to go all the way in for you to get pregnant. If that's the case that cherry will pop whether you want it to or not. Another perspective: I'm married. If I kiss another woman, or "finger" another woman, or give another woman oral sex (or let her give me oral sex), do you think that would classify as "cheating"? Think about that, then decide the importance of a penis being 2 centimeters in, or 6 inches in.
2006-12-20 15:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by gabound75 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
just because he has a littl penis and didnt pop the cherry doesnt mean you are still a virgin. sorry girl all innocence is lost might as well really get after it now.
2006-12-20 15:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by Bistro 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry girl. You're not a virgin anymore. When he says he didn't go in all the way, he means that he did, but doesn't want you to feel bad. It's not irresponsible. It happens to everyone. I"m sure that most "first times" are not much different.
2006-12-20 15:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by DrRocco 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
no you are not a virgin if he didnt go all the way in, some " cherries " pop during athletic activity,, like horseback riding etc.
boys your age only want sex and if you gave it up he will be bugging you for sex all the time,
2006-12-20 15:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by rich2481 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋