Hi. I'm only 12 years old and I need some help. Well, I'm not aloud to date or have a boy friend. And I have this friend that really likes me, and wants me to be his girl friend. I told him I'm not aloud to have a boy friend, but he still likes me. Now, he and his friend keep asking if I like him, but I don't. I've had bad experiences telling guys that I don't like them, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. What do I do?? Please help me. ='( **tear**
2006-12-20 15:34:01 · 9 answers · asked by Courtney B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh, girl. Don't cry. Just talk to him! If you can't "date" him, you can be his friend! At your age, that's all dating is supposed to be anyway. Just be a good friend to him!
You mention that you've had bad experiences rejecting guys in the past. Well, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about that. It is best that you reject guys you don't like. I answered a question this morning from a girl who's 13 and trying to reject some guy. Here is the question and my answer to her. I recommend you read the whole thing. Here you go:
Question ( http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Avdf_Wnddv8o1t5MPwN7hKDsy6IX?qid=20061220160554AATvnZ3&show=7#profile-info-931c3642c3512894619a5e35779c12a7aa ):
I am 13 and i want to tell a boy that i don't like him?
i am 13 and i want to tell a boy that i dont like him but i dont want to heart his feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My Answer:
You will hurt his feelings (probably badly too) no matter what. But if you aren't clear in expressing your disinterest, you will hurt him far worse than if you just tell him you don't want to date him. There are two main ways to do this:
1) Say you have a boyfriend.
2) Just say that you aren't interested in dating him.
Those are the only humane ways I know of to do what you want to do. Surely someone will tell you to tell them that you "just want to be friends" or "you aren't looking for a relationship right now" or something to that effect. Those forms of "rejection" will make him think that he might win you over or something, even if that isn't what you intend. It's really very unfortunate, but it's true. Only guys with lots of experience can tell when a girl is rejecting him that way. Be patient too. He will probably be hung up on you for at least a week, maybe even months.
Be kind when you tell him that. And if you know a friend of yours that likes him, be sure to introduce them yourself. And keep talking to him. He may get the wrong idea if you aren't careful, but he needs to learn how to talk to girls anyway. Good luck!
Oh yeah . . . DO NOT listen to those who tell you to tell the guy indirectly that you don't like him by means of the "just being friends" or "you're like a brother to me" lines. It is very cruel to do. He will have no idea that he doesn't have a chance with you. He'll think something like "Oh yeah, that's how it happens in the movies . . . they always start out as FRIENDS. And PERSISTENCE ALWAYS pays off in the movies and on TV, no matter how little interest the woman shows at first!" And it will tear him up inside for a very long time. Please PLEASE don't do that. Occasionally guys might get mad at you rejecting them, but just be kind and understanding. You will save them so much pain. Good luck!
OK, I hope you learned something by reading that. Anyway, keep talking to the guy if you like him. You two don't have to be "officially" bf/gf. Just talk to each other! Good night!
2006-12-20 15:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you actually not like the boy? Or, do you say you do not like the boy because you are told you cannot date right now at this age? There is a difference. I suggest you talk with your parents about it. If you actually like the boy then your parents might say something like "okay, well, you can invite him over to watch a movie or something as long as there is a parent or guardian around to supervise" or "okay, you can go to the movies with him as long as your dad or mom take you, drop you off, pick you up, etc." You never know. It might be worth it to try. Now, if you do not like him then that's a different issue. There is some reason why they are continuing to keep asking. The boy's friends are asking because they want to know if you will say yes or change your mind about going out with the boy. If you make it perfectly clear to them that you have no intentions of dating this boy, and you mean it (e.g., you aren't giggling or smiling when you tell them) then they should get the point. Regardless, I recommend you speak with your parents. They are your best source for answers on this.
2006-12-20 15:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by achristian520 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young, but that is not the point. The point is young and less experince goes together. So you feel that if they ask enough time you have to say yes. But your answer was no. So they have to learn no mean NO or later on. See where chrismas bring you and him. If he can go by a week or 2 without seeing you. then you know how he feel.
2006-12-20 15:37:59 · answer #3 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're wheezing in case you "squeak", which recommend that some thing like cough drops or syrup received't help. in case you've bronchitis and this would change into pneumonia. even perchance somewhat asthmatic. bypass to the overall practitioner for a prescription of Prednisone. that's going to diminish inflammation on your airways, and the squeak will bypass away. do not take this gently--you've a severe coughing episode and your airway will actually p.c. up. See a known practitioner, please.
2016-12-01 00:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by schiavone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cry sweetheart, if you don't like him, speak up. You don't have to worry about hurting his feelings. You are not here to make anyone else happy, your goal is to see that you are happy. Take the time to study the world of dating, that way you can aproach it ready and smarter. The things on that boys mind have the ability to make you change the way you feel about yourself. It's not worth it, not now.
2006-12-20 15:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by NIGHTSHADE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're too young to worry about stuff like that. Put your cute little hormones in check and just enjoy life. Focus on school and friends. Leave the dating scene to older kids. I didn't allow my daughter to date until she was sixteen. As far as telling these boys you don't like them, just tell them to get lost. If they don't like it, that's their problem, not yours. Just have fun and be a kid for a little longer.
2006-12-20 15:42:43 · answer #6 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth.
You've already let him know that you aren't allowed to date, so that should make it easy for you! If you do like him, you can tell him, "Yeah, I like you, but...." And if you don't like him, believe me, it may hurt him a little bit now, but leading him on and making him think that you do like him when you don't will be even more painful later. Good luck!
2006-12-20 15:37:23 · answer #7 · answered by wnk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age....but...i feel you....just tell him the truth...in a nice, simple, straight forward way...."i would love us to be friends nothing more" good luck.
2006-12-20 15:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
keep it a simple 'ok, we are bf/gf only at school' kindda thing. guys your age won't stick around long anyway.
2006-12-20 15:40:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋