My daughter will occasionally cheat during a game of Candyland or stack the deck for Uno. While her father is very worried that this dooms her to a life of dishonesty, I believe it is a normal part of development. Of course, I don't tolerate this, and she is slowly learning that no one wants to play with a cheater. I know this is not an overnight process, so it may take her a while to catch on. Isn't this normal?
2006-12-20 15:33:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes -- in fact I was just looking up six-year-old behavior on another question, and cheating is specifically mentioned.
Kids in the 6YO developmental level (plus or minus six months to a year) are compelled to win, to be first, and they will very often do whatever is required to make sure this happens.
It's not acceptable, as you point out, and it sounds like you've got the right approach, using natural consequences. The natural consequence of cheating is that nobody wants to play with her, so she will learn that while winning is fun, it's only fun if people are willing to play with her.
So reassure her father that yes, it's normal for kids at this age to be so focused on winning that they'll cheat. It's also entirely correct for him to work with you on establishing natural consequences of her cheating so that she learns it's not acceptable behavior. 6YOs are also VERY much in a stage of testing for limits, which means that consistency from each of you is once again (as in the "terrible twos") the order of the day.
2006-12-20 16:03:37 · answer #1 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is perfectly normal. My son, also 5 does this. Stop getting so hung up on winning and losing. Play games less competitive. Emphasize the process rather than the end result. For example, my son has a phonics game. Although there is a start and finish, chutes and ladders etc, he is learning something while he is playing. He is learning how to make/spell new words! Even if he didn't reach the finish line before I did, he is still a winner. Since my son is a very bright boy I can also explain that there is an element of luck to games. The broader concept of losing is not trying at all or quitting before seeing it through to the end. Believe it or not you can transfer these concepts to life in general.
2006-12-21 10:11:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it's totally normal!! Like you said, it's a part of deveopment. Keep on with what you're doing, about no one wanting to play with a cheater. It may take longer then average, she may get the idea in a couple more weeks. But she WILL get the idea, and then stop.
I was cheating in games for quite a while when I played with family, and never got caught(or they never said anything to me, because I'm the baby of the family). But when I started playing with friends, they caught me. And they didn't want to play with me anymore. I was devastated! After we moved, I didn't cheat anymore, and haven't since then. Except for a few times, with my husband, but that's different. lol We're adults, and it's just funny.
And not all kindergartners cheat. My 6 yo doesn't. She knows what it is, and we taught her early that cheaters never prosper.
2006-12-20 23:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound serious to me, though she needs feedback about dishonesty when it happens.
The behavior that would worry me is calculated lying that is intended to deceive for some practical reason, like avoiding a chore or accountability. "Mommy, I met the Tooth Fairy last night" is not serious. "Mommy, I didn't take the baby's popsicle," when the popsicle is all over her face and the stick is in her pocket and the baby is howling with outrage, is a lie told to deceive and is serious.
It sounds like your daughter just wants to win and hasn't quite learned about fair play. Time and experience, especially with an aggressive cheating person her age, should go far in curing this.
2006-12-20 23:40:02 · answer #4 · answered by silver.graph 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yup! Completely normal! You just keep sending the message that nobody wants to play with a cheater and, eventually, the urge to win "at all costs" will pass. Secretly, however, try to enjoy and appreciate the ingenuity that goes into the act of cheating... if you watch closely, you can see the wheels in her head turning! :-)
Peace.
2006-12-20 23:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i read some of the answers that were posted agreeing that this is normal,but this the truth, children only know from what they learn, and what they learn is from their parents. if the parents teach the kid that winning is everything, they are bound to cheat to win
(play them a game of tic- tac- toe, and you will see how much relevance they have on winning, if they get irritated, you may have a issue). the thing is that as parents you need to address to the child(ren) that in any game there are winners of the game
and there are ones that did not win the game, and that it is not a bad thing but a chance to learn the game to make him/her possibly win the next time. personal note: teach this child chess.
2006-12-21 00:20:12 · answer #6 · answered by barrbou214 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personaly, I beleive it is. I think that you should not yell or get angry, but calmly explain to her that it isn't nice to cheat and no one wants to play with a cheater and so on. If she continues on, despite your warning, tell her that you will not play with her until she uses honest methods of winning. She will eventually realize that the best way for her to have a fun time when playing, is to be completely honest. Another way to encorage her not to cheat, is to be very upbeat and and kind when she loses. When she wins, don't be afraid to be proud of her. Congratulate her. She'll be thank you later.
2006-12-20 23:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by Scarlato 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is normal. As long as people keep calling her on her cheating and refuse to play games with her because of it, she will eventually get the message.
Don't worry about it. I doubt very much that your daughter is going to turn into a compulsive liar.
2006-12-20 23:39:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. Kindergarteners feel a drive to win. If you haven't noticed, they're upset when they lose. Just make it clear that this is inappropriate behavior, and that you don't tolerate it and keep at that her entire life, and her father will have nothing to worry about, hopefully.
2006-12-20 23:38:04 · answer #9 · answered by Akarui 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well
There are numerous documented benefits and advantages of teaching children to read early on, and teaching them to reading using phonics and phonemic awareness instructions. It is clear that early language and reading ability development passes great benefits to the child as they progress through school at all grades, and that early language and reading problems can lead to learning problems later on in school.
For a simple, step-by-step program that can help your child learn to read visit this web site: http://readingprogram.toptips.org
Cheers ;)
2014-09-17 19:38:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋