i have been married to my husband for 7 years i keep telling him over and over he needs to have fun with me laugh with me be romantic with me and he wont. i even tried counseling with him and nothing he wont change. he wants to have sex the same old way him on top he wont use toys he wont do different thing or positions i am always talking to him about it over and over again the whole 7 years. we even seperated over this and he said he would change. i am almost 30 i want to laugh and have great sex and kiss passionately. i feel that thats what relationships are all about enjoing eachother. my husband isnt changing. he get mad that i wont kiss him anymore he doesnt know how to be sexy or anything. i feel like dating some one else but i cant cause i am married .i feel like all of my 20's i waited for him to change and he just wont he is getting duller and duller. i think about being with other men cause of this. i gave him so much time to change. i dont know why he is with me
2006-12-20 15:09:28 · 27 answers · asked by sophie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you are truely unhappy. I would say, if he's unwilling to change, you need to make a change.
2006-12-20 15:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
u have my deepest sympathy.
i think u need to give him an ultimatum.
he either sees a sex therapist with u
or u will seek alternative arrangements.
u deserve better than this. at the same time, i
can see from his point of view. maybe he doesn't
feel confident enough to try different things or maybe
he is suffering from workaholic's droop.
this is a condition experienced by many men who
are just too wrapped up in their work to want to try
different things in case it uses up...............
unnecessary energy.
don't leave him just bcos i said that !!LOL!!!!
i feel a bit sad but maybe urs has bcome a marriage of convenience. these are never happy times for whichever
party is still committed to the marriage. great credit to u
it sounds like u still r.
u need to seek counselling in ur own right to help u
thru otherwise u may start to believe it is ur fault. it isn't.
try to get some friends thru 360 and have a little flirt with some men if u can, no strings, to spice things up 4u!! it doesn't hurt as long as there are no strings. u need someone to make u feel sexy and desirable. if he isn't doing that u need a change.
methinks.
good luck
2006-12-20 23:24:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, the seven year itch... Very confusing point in a relationship. The reason he may be afraid to accept maturity, or something else has arrested his normal growing process. The problem is you want him to change, because you have changed. This may be frightening him, and he seems content to stay the same. It almost sounds as if he has another interest, and like an addiction, it pre-occupies his thoughts, and passions(not necessarily sex). If you have separated from this there are more issues than you are disclosing here, I recommend seeking a more qualified source
2006-12-20 23:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by Road 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when this happens it means that its time to move on.
It's better to end it now then later find yourself trapped and depressed. I think that you tried enough and that you need to get a divorce. Do it now and find someone who makes your days joish and fun. Girl theres many other great guys out there that are willing to give you all there love and care. I say seperate it is not a healthy relationship anymore why keep trying.
2006-12-20 23:20:00 · answer #4 · answered by ~Escorpion~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I dont know what to tell you, Ive never been with a man that long. Maybe if you threaten to leave for good, it will be an eye opener for him? You are young, and you deserve great passion in your life.......if he hasnt changed in 7 yrs, I dont think he ever will.
I dont beleive in divorce.....but....one day it MAY get to the point where you do meet someone else and leave him. I wish you all the best.
2006-12-20 23:13:11 · answer #5 · answered by confusedbrowngirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 years- he was probably the same way the day you married him- you can take charge in some of the sex on get on top of him and kiss him passionately= men tend to respond to that - he might decide he likes it- quit griping and complaining= to men it is mostly a sign of insecurity and irritating and most men were raised not to show their emotions or bear their soul- he may not now how to change= can a man be sexy and just be himself- I think so!! HE is still w you because he wants to be -or he wouldn't be there- and he loves you= D
2006-12-20 23:16:28 · answer #6 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dayum, i think hes skeered, or he aint right, i tell you what, if a woman wanted to try different things when it came to sex, pffffffff count me in I'm all for a rodeo..lol...it would be on like a chicken bone you hear me! lol..
anyway to be honest,... it doesn't seem like hes interested in you period!
you've told him what you want. he just needs to saddle up. great sex = great relationships, i mean experimenting is fun.. hell he may like it! but it sounds as if this one is too far gone to save. and ur not happy. give him a choice
and him being on top isn't one of them. maybe he will come around.. ur in a hard spot... i don't want to say get the big d. but you cant go everyday being unsatisfied.. i wish i could say something that would help here.. but I'm lost on this one, got a map? lol good luck i hope it works out for you.
2006-12-20 23:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by boots 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are only in this relationship because it has become a habit, i feel for you but the only person who can change your husband is himself, and even then only if he wants to change.
it may be time for you to move on but i would try counseling once more first, if that doesn't work find someone who gives you the romance and passion you deserve/
good luck
2006-12-20 23:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by Mark C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you married him in the first place? Was he like this when you first met him? Remember that old saying you can't teach an old dog new tricks. If he was like this when you first met him, then he's never going to change. Do what you have to do.
2006-12-20 23:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by InIt2WinIt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should print what you've just written off and hand it to him. Maybe he doesnt realise the full extent of your unhappiness hun - if after you explain it to him like you've just done here he still makes no effort to change - Im sorry to say it but maybe you'd be better off without him. You're still young enough to restart your life. xx
2006-12-21 04:04:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
may b he has a one set mind and don't no how 2 change. maybe he really has tried to change but it just doesn't work. im only 16 so i really cant answer ur questien properly
2006-12-20 23:18:00 · answer #11 · answered by jake s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋