My 3 yr. old niece stays with me all day! her mother is at work and me and my mother take of her 3 children. the 3yr. old never stops following me and my mother! the only time she stays put is when Curious Gorge comes out on PBS kids. Then when I am cooking, there she is behide me! I try giving her all her toys and then spend a little time with her. Still, she won't stop! HELP ME!
2006-12-20 14:46:36 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
She identifies with you, she wants to be like you. Frankly if I were you I'd take it as a compliment that this child sees you as a role model. Lighten up...YOU were that way when YOU were three as well.
2006-12-20 14:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she ever call for you, even when you're right next to her, and when you answer, she doesn't respond? She's only making sure that you're still there. My 2 yo, about to be 3, does this. It's a bond thing. She's bonded with you on a strong level, and she wants to make sure that you're not going to leave, like mommy did(leave, not abandon).
You need to set boundaries, especially when you're in the kitchen. My kids aren't aloud in the kitchen, unless my 6 yo is helping me cook, or my kids are showing me what they want to eat, or putting something in the sink/garbage. She needs to know that you're not going anywhere, and that it isn't safe in the kitchen. If you have to, get her a chair and put it away from the stove or prep area, but where she can still see you. Tell her that if she stays in the chair, or out of the way, she can do something she likes, or get something she likes.
Find something else that really sparks her interest. Get a toy that deals with letters, numbers, adding, spelling, and such. It's got bright colors, funny sounds, and a cool voice that talks to them.
Do her siblings play with her? If they don't, she may be looking for someone to comfort her. She is probly already afraid to be alone, because mommy leaves, but she might feel left out because her sibs aren't playing with her, at all, or not enough. Maybe if she had a friend the same age.
2006-12-20 15:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to laugh when I read the description of your niece; my 3-year-old daughter is the exact same way, except it's Dora or Diego that she generally sits through. I think some kids are just like this at that age; they get very attached to a parent or family member and they want to make sure they know where you are at all times. Change is also hard for kids this age, so the person that they trust or feel the most comfortable with is often who they will bond to when it feels like their world is not a constant. In the past year and a half, we've moved to three different residences due to my husband's job, so I look at my daughter and it's no wonder she wants to know where I am at all times.
I like the posters' suggestion that you should involve her in whatever you are doing. If nothing else, it will help to keep her from getting underfoot so you don't trip over her all day long, which happens often with my little one sometimes no matter how hard I try. I also talk to my daughter alot while I do things, so it makes her feel involved. My little girl also loves to color and paint and do arts and crafts stuff, so you could try involving her with something like that at the kitchen or dining room table, so you can keep a close eye while you do dishes, cook, etc. Sometimes when I feel like it's driving me crazy, I just remind myself that she wants to be near me and spend lots of time with me now, but years from now it will be like, "Bye, Mom!". So cherish it while you can. Best of luck to you and your family!
2006-12-21 01:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by TNTMA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her something to do. Give her a dustrag and show her how to dust. Give her a little broom and ask her to sweep something up. Make some cookie dough, or even fake dough to knead so she can "help". Get her involved, even if it's only a play involved. As long as she's there beside you, she might as well learn and get to enjoy doing a few things. Give her a rag and a bottle of window spray. Keep up the dialog and praise her for being a good little helper. Children aren't really taught these housekeeping skills anymore. Especially boys.
2006-12-20 15:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is actually a normal part of child development that ends somewhere between 18 months and 3 years. So she is quite within normal bounds... especially since Mom is gone and she is worried that you might dissappear "forever" like she thinks Mom has. They don't have the mental ability yet to make the connection that Mom is actually coming back.
You are on the right track to distract her. Redirecting that energy into something else will usually help. There is alot more on the subject here:
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Anxiety/children_separation_anxiety.asp
2006-12-20 15:15:12 · answer #5 · answered by FalconCSC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has an attachement to you. You are a constant in her life and she feels secure with you. She wants to see where you are at all time. Spend a little time with her and let her know where you are going and that you will be back. Since mom leaves everyday, she may feel a bit abandoned at times. Hope this helps.
2006-12-20 14:56:16 · answer #6 · answered by Annieo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, they do that sometimes. The only thing I can suggest is let him/her know that you're not far away, and check on them frequently and get them involved with something they can do on their own. I would start out doing it with them (coloring, puzzle, etc.) and then gradually start stepping away a bit. Maybe 5 min. and say "I'll be right here in the kitchen (or wherever) maybe you can be a big girl and work on it a little by yourself? " Then slowly increase the time. Hope this helps!
2006-12-20 14:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why do you think she is following you? did you expect her to be a plant that would just in a corner waiting for you to notice it?
she needs to be with adults to learn - when you cook, you could be teaching her fractions, the use of reading, and family recipes.
she needs, for at least 15 minutes every hour she is awake, direct one on one contact with her mother substitute and mother, where the adults attend to the child and what she wants to play/do.
You are supposed to be reading to her, many books, over and over. You are supposed to be making playdoh sculptures with her, making crafts with her, taking nature walks where you teach her tons of words and all about the world around her.
Kids really can't grow well without grownups loving and guiding them.
2006-12-20 15:10:49 · answer #8 · answered by master apple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sweet! She's obviously very attached to you! Just record Curious George so you can pop it in when you need to get some things done without her under your feet! You certainly don't want her getting hurt in the kitchen while your cooking.
2006-12-20 15:16:18 · answer #9 · answered by Georgia Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids learn from the adults around them by watching intently. This is especially apparent in mother figures. (that's right, she may believe you're her mother).
You may feel better by getting her more involved in the tasks you're doing. Get her to wash the cabbage or whatever.
But if you really want her away from you, use the gates used for childproofing houses. You can easily hop over, but she can't...problem solved. She may cry initially, but she'll get used to it.
Just remember, she follows you to learn...who knows, she may become the next Einstein if she wants to learn at such a young age.
2006-12-20 14:56:11 · answer #10 · answered by rishi_is_awake 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋