How do I get over the hurtful things said to me by my boyfriend?

Question

We have been together for over 3.5 years. We argued over the past year because I got pregnant and would not abort. He has made cruel comments about all the things I once thought he valued about me: my looks, body, intelligence and sexual prowess. Objectively, I would like to believe that he was only saying these things out of anger, and would not have maintained a relationship with me for so long if I had 0 redeeming qualities, but I am still self-conscious about myself, now. I do not want my feelings to destroy my self-esteem, sex life, etc. So, how do I get over these comments?

Autumns Destany: please do not respond to any more questions until you are intelligent enough to form a coherent sentence or at least a learned opinion. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

u dont get over it u drop this loser have ur baby and move on with your life not all men are dogs you'll find someone tht will love u and your baby

Answer 2

Ok Darlin you are gonna get all the "Dump the loser " remarks here but----lets take into consideration he was just being a creep and did say these things out of anger---But why??? I assume you and he used birth control other wise you would have been pregnant long before now--so why if he is angered over that didnt he take the precautions further--and the only sure fire way to prevent an unwanted pregnancy (I think thats what he is angered by?) is to NOT HAVE SEX ???? Who makes the rules for the women to be the ones that have to be 100% responsible for birth control?? Besides there is not a single product sold over the counter that is 100% for sure---
Now lets look at how he has made you feel because he was pitching a boy fit!!! He had no right to do this to you---make you feel bad about yourself and how you look--but if you are willing to forgive him because he was ANGREY--then you need to sit down with him and tell him that this was not all YOUR fault that the reason you too are parents is because there is love there and it was shared you didnt rape him for Petes sake --He needs to tell you its OK and say he is sorry and he is over it all and he still loves you --HE NEEDS to be the ONE to make all the wrongs right--and if then he cant step up to this plate ?? Maybe think then of a life on your own--you have a sweet child that deserves the love you can give--not negitive thoughts and rude remarks that could come of this--- FROM him--

Answer 3

i have been there. the guy in question whould lose their mood and say extremely hurtful issues to me. Then, after each little thing cooled down, they'd go back to the guy I loved a lot. i'd seem at them and imagine, 'how can someone so large/humorous/loving say such wretched issues?' or maybe although each little thing replaced into decrease back to prevalent, what they reported would nonetheless gnaw away at me. finally I instructed them how the failings they say affected me very negitivly. They were suprised because each section I extra up they'd lengthy considering forgotten about so extremely the basically one hurting replaced into me. They apologized and began to be extra conscious. My suggestion is to confront your boyfriend (not angryily or agressively) and tell him precisely the way you experience and certain issues he says and does that damage you. If he extremely is a fine looking guy, he will pay interest and take a verify out to artwork on those elements interior the courting.

Answer 4

Words have been spoken. Harsh statements appear during hi-intensity arguments. But for a man to cover just about everything in a woman's personality during an argument is irresponsible because he'd 'thrown out the monkey" to you and left bad feelings. Now, the best way to ged rid of the monkey on your back is to realize that you are a strong and intelligent person. How could you have asked your question if you're not concerned and aware of the outcome. Remember, ill comments deliver their purpose only when you accept them. Don't rationalize these ill comments from your irresponsible bf. Simply reject them!

Answer 5

He’s being a dumb ars ! it sounds to me like he’s the one with the problem. Tell him to get lost. You don’t need that kind of negativity. Believe me you can do better. If that’s the way he treats the mother of his child. Then he doesn’t deserve to be with you. I mean hell you put up with his crap for three plus years and he is showing any sign of growing up. Not all guys are chumps like him. If you were my girlfriend you and my child would be number one in every way and you would never have to feel bad about anything. You’re a mother now and your child will always see you as the best of everything in life and if you ever start feeling bad about yourself think about what you did, you gave life to someone. Because of you that little person has the opportunity to change the world. Now how cool is that!?! You Rock! Now tell that zero to get with the program or roll on down the road.

Answer 6

First of all, don't go rushing into another man's arms just to cover the pain. It may seem like a good idea right now, but it just makes it worse.

Secondly, it isn't that you aren't valuable with your attributes, its that he just wasn't interested in you anymore.

I have a couple more tips among ways to help your confidence get back to a stable level, so if you were interested, send me an e-mail or an IM. Don't think that I just want to be your savior from him, I just want to help you out with the emotional pain you're going through.

Answer 7

those comments are just one mans opinion. First off, screw him. If he can't love you for who you really are (preg. or not) than he shouldn't deserve someone like you. There are TONS of men in the world and i'm pretty sure a lot of them will being willing to love you unconditionally. But to really answer your question, "how to keep the comments from interfering with your life", the answer is quite simply, self-confidence.

Answer 8

Stick and Stones May Break My Bones....

And harsh words will too.


Your boyfriend has crossed the line and has scared you for life. If he said it, he had to feel it. And if he did not feel it, he had to think about it. Either way, you're bruised by his actions and you can't function like you should.

That's called verbal abuse and sometimes this hurts more than someone actually hitting you because the abuse continues on and on everytime you think about it in your mind.

Sorry to say, but you can't trust him to not do it again later.

Answer 9

get rid of the boyfriend and get child support....there is no future with him... the only reason he is with you is because he doesn't want to pay child support... but you should have never gotten pregnant it your partner didn't want kids... to me that is called entrapment. I know... I know.... he should have used a condom... but where do you think babies come from... It is just sad that an innocent child is stuck in the middle of this... but there is one thing if I didn't want kids I wouldn't have kids... no protection means you get pregnant...

just sad... think if you stay with this guy... how old you are going to be when your child turns 18 because if your boyfriend hasn't left yet he is counting down the days when your and his child is 18 then he is going to leave you so fast it is going to make your head swim. the things women will do to keep a man... and not a good man at that... But you better watch he just might be the one who get custody of the child then you will be paying child support.

Answer 10

that sounds like my childs father! I went through the same thing, and had hurtful things said to me. even called our child "shark bait", and "oreo"! what I done was thought how childish he was beeing and thought how glad I was that my child wasnt gonna be around something like that.
theyre just words. dont let it bother you.
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