Should the non custodial parent allow their child to take home the gifts that they give them for Christmas and Birthdays? Or should the gifts stay at the non custodial parents home for when the child visits? The child visits every other weekend. Right or wrong? What do you think?
2006-12-20 14:20:56 · 21 answers · asked by lilmisstickletoo 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
they go wherever the child wants
2006-12-20 14:47:36 · answer #1 · answered by laura468 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the non custodial parent explain it to the kids. It is fair that they want some (or all) of the gifts they gave to stay at their house so the kid has stuff there to make it feel more like their home. My kids never bring gifts back from Dad's. It might be hard to leave new toys behind, but they really do need toys there and he won't let them bring toys from home. There is no right or wrong here. It is a matter of opinion and perspective. If the kids feel strongly, maybe they can discuss it with the other parent. I'm sure they have plenty of toys at the custodial parents house and this isn't one of those arguments worth having.
2006-12-20 17:53:59 · answer #2 · answered by Dreaming Dragon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The gifts belong to the child, not to the giver. It's different if you have clothes at your house for the child, but toys are meant to be played with, and should go with the child. The parents should be mature enough to send the toys and etc.with the child coming and going. Giving a child a toy, then taking it away is just mean. I've been on both sides of the fence with my husband's daughter, as a non-custodial, we always sent them. As a custodial, her mom kept them. It was very hard on our daughter trying to understand what she'd done to lose her gifts.
2006-12-20 14:25:44 · answer #3 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Judges can order whatever they feel is just. You can request a modification, but unless a judge issues a contrary order, you have to follow the one in effect. And it might cost you more that you'd save on taxes, to fight it. Not fair, but life isn't sometimes. If there is no court order regarding taking the exemption, the IRS rule is that it defaults to the custodial parent. But in your case, since there is a court order, you have to follow it. Filing first and claiming her, as someone else suggested, won't do you any good if her father claims her also - the IRS will contact both of you, he'll show the court order, and you'll have to pay the additional tax.
2016-05-23 03:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that a child should be "banned" from taking gifts home, but I can see why an NCP would "gently encourage" the child to leave some/all of the gifts there...that way there will be toys for her/him to play with at the next visit. CPs can help drive this point home without making an NCP feel cheap or controlling.
2006-12-20 14:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you give a gift its to be used, enjoyed and done with ....what the receiver chooses to do with it. I think I would need more info then whats given to make a judgment call as to right or wrong. Like is it a case if its taken home its not taken care of properly? Or, is it a case, when the child goes back there is nothing there to play with? Or is it a parent trying to be a control freak and thinking if the toy is left there, the child will be anxious to return? Need more info.
2006-12-20 14:29:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really should be up to the child. In my case, clothes received at dad's house are left there. I don't send a suitcase with them because I don't want the hassle of packing and then doing a bunch of laundry when they return. It's just easier for me. Other than that, they bring home what they want to.
If this separation is fairly new, give it some time. The whole "her gifts" and "his gifts" thing wears off after a couple of years for most. At least that's how it's been for me and others I know in the same boat.
2006-12-20 14:34:03 · answer #7 · answered by Georgia Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a gift is something to give. If they buy a gift they should buy two, one for their home and one for yours. That's what my mother in law does. It's not right whats the point, the child will only play with it when they go there and it's probably not most of the time, so the child will end up growing out of the toys age and wasted money.
2006-12-20 15:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I had a step son, I let him take home some big gifts he got, that I thought he'd play with a lot. I kept some with us so he'd have some to play with when he visited. Later he took those home as well. I bought his gifts with all of this in mind. I found later than some of his gifts I should have left at my home, for instance, I bought him a train set, and figured his step dad could help him put it together, but found out they didn't know how. I had to show them how to do it and I am a female. Good thing I had brothers or he'd have had a gift he wouldn't have played with. He did tell me they threw it out though because they couldn't figure it out even after I showed them.
2006-12-20 14:27:42 · answer #9 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not uncommon for the gifts to be left at the non custodial parents house. If the relationship between the parents is not good I think it is even more common. I don't know if it right or wrong.
2006-12-20 14:31:28 · answer #10 · answered by applecrisp 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Custody situations are always tricky. I wouldn't mention it unless the child is unhappy with it. Then broach the subject with the other adult. It sounds to me like the other parent just wants there to be a special reason the child comes. Something to look forward to when it's time to visit. Chose your battles wisely, you need to maintain as healthy a relationship as possible with the other parent for the childs sake.
2006-12-20 14:31:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anna O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋