if your husband is responsible for your childs death can you forgive him?

Question

Not that he took a hatchet and axed the kid. But lets say that he accidentlly leaves the child in the car for an hour and its 110 degrees outside. and your kid dies. can you forgive him?

Answer 1

I don't know how I will react, nor the people answering here know. None of us was in this situation before. I'd like to think I can forgive my partner but in the same time I know that something will keep me from doing that. I can't answer you by simply saying YES or NO. My answer is: maybe.

Answer 2

I love the "forgive and forgets" and "get on with its" that people are posting here. Oh, and then there's the "you can always make another kid."

To be perfectly frank, a majority of marriages don't survive the death of a child, and even fewer survive when the death of a child is caused by one member of the marriage, accidental or otherwise. So many of us consider ourselves christians, capable of forgiving anything, but the truth is, few of us can forgive when it comes to such a devastating event.

I think it would be patently unfair to judge anyone's character based on their inability or unwillingness to forgive such a thing. After all, we're not talking about the loss of a car at the hands of our partner...we're talking about a beloved child.

For my own part, I'd like to think that I'd try to forgive (not "forget" -- good grief, who the hell actually wrote that?!), but in the end, I don't think that it would matter because, frankly, I don't think that I would survive the death of my child.

I pray that none of us ever go through such a thing.

Answer 3

I would not be able to as there is no excuse to say "forget" a child that is not even 5 feet reaching distance for an hour or more in hot (or cold) weather. I can understand forgetting a wallet at home or purse when dinning out; however, those are quickly remembered. We all have forgot something.

As far as a child goes, there is no excuse to forget a child like that. I am always a ware of children around me when babysitting or having niece/nephew over. I have never not known they were not around, even when they were sleeping.

Answer 4

Yes, Forgiveness is not about right and wrong. It is about letting go of the remorse, hate, anger, resentment, and other bad feelings. When we believe, or truly know, someone has hurt us, or done us wrong we get emotional. If we continue to allow these emotions to rule our lives we become slaves to them, and lose track of the good and happy life we should have.
Forgiving doesn't mean the other person(s) not wrong, it means we don't have to hate them for what they did anymore. It is more for ourselves than for them. (some people don't realize this fact).
I could forgive my wife if she did that to one of our kids, but I'd never let her alone with any of our other kids ever again. Most likely I'd not have any more kids with her, and would be strongly considering leaving the marriage. I could not make a true judgement as I'm not in the situation, but after forgiveing her it'd sure take alot of soul searching to find reasons to stay with someone who had total disregard for the safety of their own child.
I realize mistakes can and do happen and she'd more likely be going through more pain than I would be. I'd Pray and seek guidance from my chosen faith. In my faith I guess I would be expected to stay if I listened to what I imagine they would say.
Say a Prayer and I will too.

Answer 5

I would have to say no. I saw a story on TV just like this where a father didn't normally drive his son to daycare before work. He forgot the child was even in the car and went straight to work, leaving the child to die inside! And the wife forgave him! How could you 'forget' your child and how the wife could forgive I will never know.

Answer 6

If God can forgive us for our daily sins then surely you can forgive your husband. Have you took the time out to even consider that he may feel ten times worse than you do? Wouldn't you want your husband to comfort you if you made the same mistake? Take a walk in his shoes for a second while asking yourself those questions. You may never forget what happened but you should forgive him because it wasn't intentional.

Answer 7

I cannot answer this for you. Every person has different depths of feeling. Some can forgive anything, some can forgive some things, some cannot forgive anything. Don't suppress your true feelings in this matter. If you do neither one of you will be able to lead a normal life.

Good luck!

Answer 8

People say to forgive, but let God do the real forgiveness. Personally, I would never forgive him. I think I would kill him. There is absolutely no excuse for making your baby uncomfortable like that to begin with.

I can't even believe this **** happens.

Answer 9

No -- it is NOT an accident. I was a Long Term Single Parent, and I can assure you that I checked every part of my car each and every time I got in and out of it -- and knew where my children were at all times. There is NO WAY that one could "forget" they have a child in a child safety seat in the car ....

Answer 10

I have one daughter...and if she died it wouldn't matter who killed her because I don't think I could go on living. And I know if my fiance was responsible for her death he would probably kill himself. The man almost has a breakdown when they were playing and she tripped over his foot and hit her head (not bad at all). He would be beyond inconsolable. If we had other children...I would have to go on for them but I don't think I could ever forget what happened...I mean forgiveness yes but never could I interact with him in the same way.