What would you do if the person you loved chose to be with someone else?

Question

We never actually dated but we were very close friends, and I fell in love with her. But before I could ask her out someone beat me to it and she chose to be with him. I don’t see her now. But it has been over two months and I still think about her constantly. Is there away to stop thinking about her. I have never been in love before. Even if it is one sided love it still hurts like hell and after all this time I still can’t get her out of my head. Why is this I mean I know I don’t stand a chance with her and she is very happy. Do you ever stop thinking about someone you fell in love with. Or are you stuck with the memory of it forever. I have never felt this way about anyone before. Why did I feel this way if it was not meant to be.

Answer 1

Try this quote, "If you love someone, let them go, if they return, they were always yours, if they don't, then they never were."

So, if you really love her, you'll want her to be happy, and if she's happy with this other man, then let her be there. I know this sounds cliche but it's true. Though maybe she doesn't know how you feel. I would tell her how you feel if you really want to. Respect the man she is with, but tell her calmly that you love her. You don't want to always have to wonder what might have been, and knowing that some man was married to your wife, so-to-speak.

I know I am not giving you a direct answer here, but you must make this choice on your own based on what you feel is right inside. Trust your instincts, you'll know what to do. You'll be okay. It's hard to forget your first love, they always say (i have never been in love, someday I hope to be though), so just do what feels right.

I hope you make the best decision you can. :) I'm here if you need to talk.

Answer 2

Few things "are meant to be" since one would have to have a clear vision of destiny (if you believe in that) to know what our fate holds for us. Things that may have seemed perfect will often not go our way, and there is not much we can do about such things. The stoics believed that one should worry about the things he controls, and as for things he can't control that should be given some attention but never to waste energy in controlling them. I have been in your exact situation many times actually, it's an easy trap to fall into, but fortunately memory fades over time until you can't even remember what the girl looked like. It feels like forever over a week or two, but once you go hit the running trail or the weights, get out with friends and regain your confidence and dignity by focusing all that energy on yourself, you will see that it was just a phase. Sort of liking having the flu for a while, where, once you recover, you can't really recreate the crappy feeling you are experiencing when you have it. After the first, second, third, or fourth time, you will be able to bounce back to your feet with little difficulty. Remember to stay away from alcohol while you're not feeling well, it hurts you more.

Answer 3

She apparently did not have the same type feelings that you had. She considered you two being best friends. Sometime people make better best friends than they do bf/gf. If she had felt any thing more than you are just her friend, she would not have chose the other guy. she might have been seeing him already. time for you to ask a girl out and have some fun. Best way to get over a heartache is to stop dwelling on it all the time. I know that sounds terrible, but the only one that can get you out of this pain is to exercise the right meds which is get out and have fun. If it is meant for you to mean more to her than a best friend, she will be back. We cannot force someone to feel like we want them to feel or force them to feel the same way we do.

Answer 4

Hi there. Firstly let 's get some things straight. She did not choose between you and the other guy. You indicate that you did not let her know how deep your feelings were/are.For all you know, she could be wondering why it is that you have deserted her as a friend.She might be wondering what she has done to upset you.

As for the forgetting part....two months is not very long as all...I think that every one that we form a deep friendship with has a permanent place in our hearts. It is up to us, with the help of time and others in our lives.to accept what we can not change and to move on to new experiences and friendships.If we still place value on having that person as a part of our lives, we have to accept them as a friend rather than as a lost love.

Answer 5

If you release a bird from it's cage and it returns then you know it's yours.

Skinny Boy Lyrics
Chicago

Ow
Yeah, yeah

When I was a young skinny boy
My mama said to me
The world out there is hard and dirty
Mean as it wants to be
I know there's gonna be times when you're down and out
So listen now kid
Listen now son
I'll tell you what it's all about

You gotta try to keep your head above the water
That's what my mama told me
You gotta try to keep a step ahead of time
And even though you do some things you shouldn't ought to
Shouldn't ought to
If you love your brothers love will come back to you
Love'll come back to you
Love'll come back to you
Love'll come back to you

Lived my life in so many ways
To find out who I am
Time's approaching
I really can say
Truly I understand
Got more livin' to do for myself
To run along now
Play along later
Stay up by the shelf
Sing it girls

Gotta try to keep your head above the water
Yes you do yes you do
You gotta try to keep a step ahead of time
Even though you do some things you shouldn't ought to
If you love your sisters, love will come back to you
Love'll come back to you
Love'll come back to you

All the world is turnin' slow
Slowly it will die
But that is something I never will see
I don't know why
Tryin' to take the world the best I can
Write a bit now
Love a bit later
Stand up like a man
hey, hey

Gotta try to keep your head above the water
Yes you do yes you do yes you do
Gotta try to keep a step ahead of time
Even though you do some things you shouldn't ought to
Love your brothers and sisters, love'll come back to you
Love'll come back to you
Love'll come back to you

Answer 6

Have you ever told her how you feel about her? That's the first step. If she tells you she wants to be with the other guy than you should be happy for her, because you want the people that you love to be happy.

Answer 7

my dear this is call love..... its takes time to get over someone you never know when love is gonna hit you but when it hits you, it will hit hard..... wat u have is memories.... keep it but do something that will keep your mind busy like things you like.... u will find somebody who will be worthy of your love again.... but dont lose the memories...... cuz it will remind you that u did love someone omg u get da pt........ i dont no how to say it but..... it will eventually be in da back of ur mind ...... dont give up u can move on n find someone else who u will love even more den her.... good luck >.< hope i didnt confused u too much ^.^

Answer 8

Hey just call her up and say hi here and there. you never know what'll happen in the future if they break up. You'd get your chance again.

Answer 9

I think wat u need 2 do iz find her and talk 2 her cause she obviously really doesn't know how u feel........and i dnt think u will eva b able 2 get her outta ur head wen u really luv somebody it's hard 2 4get them..........GUD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

I would feel really sad, but I would let that person go.