We've been seeing one another for about 4 months now. We live an hour apart with no change in the near future for that. He's got 2 kids and is divorced. I've got 5 kids and was never married. (we're both 30) He's been reluctant to introduce me to his family because he doesn't know how they will react to me having so many kids.
I told him I've never been to a New Year's party before, so he's throwing one for me at his place. His parents are going to be there, and this will be the first time I meet them. (My kids will be at my mom's for a sleep-over) I'm so worried that they won't like me. What can I do to get over these nerves?
*Oh, I also bought x-mas gifts for his mom, dad, sister, and his mom's dog, and his daughters. I'm bringing them down to his place on Friday so his family will have opened their gifts from me before I even meet them face to face. I'm also nervous that they won't like the gifts I got them.
I'm just one big jittery mess! I just want them to like me.
2006-12-20 12:45:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the gifts I got them are under $10 a piece... I don't have much money, and I just wanted to get them something. I'm bummed out that our schedules wouldn't allow for us to have any shared holiday time this year, but what do ya do?
2006-12-20 12:49:35 · update #1
He already told his folks that I have 5 kids. I think he told them that less than a month into our dating.
2006-12-20 12:55:34 · update #2
Do they like me or not?
Come on! You're a big girl now and you don't need no one's approval of you as woman. The only opinion that should really matter right now is what your man thinks of you.
Yes, it would be nice if everyone was to fall head over hills for you. It would be nice to be adopted by the whole family. And it will be just peachy for them to accept you, your kids, and the gifts you have bought for them.
You sound like a really sweet, caring and thoughtful woman. But where is your sense of security? Where is your confidence in yourself? Now raise your head up high, be proud of who you are, and love your five kids, and love your man. Walk through his doors and introduce yourself. Shake each of their hands, and look them in the eyes and smile. Show them that you confident in who you are and that their son chose you to be in his life.
You can't make them like you, but you shouldn't have to lose sleep off of worrying what others are going to be thinking about you. You can be the sweetest person in the world and someone will still find a reason to not like you. You can smile too much and they can hate you for that. You can talk too much, or be too friendly. You can even be smart and good looking. You can be rich and drive a fancy car. No matter what, you are you and just let your light shine and enjoy the party your man is throwing for you.
I think you will make a great impression on them. Just be you. Now go get them and let me know how it went.
And don't be ashamed of the fact that you have five kids and never been married. This man loves you and that is all that matters.
2006-12-20 12:57:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tired of being Mr. Nice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a woman, I don't have five children and it has been nearly 3 decades since I was thirty. But, I can still remember the nerves I felt every time I met a girls parents. All I am trying to say is you aren't alone and honestly his parents may be as nervous as you are. Relax as much as you can (I know, easier said than done) and be yourself. They love their son, and if you can make him happy they will love you as well...
BTW, stripping to the skin, putting a lamp shade on your head and dancing in the middle of the buffet table is very bad form. I really hope that got a laugh, or at least a giggle, it sounds like you could use some levity right now.
Now, go get 'em. You'll do fine.
2006-12-20 13:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll tell you what my grandma always says "it is what it is" There's nothing you can do to not have 5 kids, so just put on your most relaxed, happy smile and boldly face the folks! If they're the judgemental type, that's their problem. Some people just need something to talk about (trust me, I know what judgemental inlaws are like!) You are who you are and if you can manage 5 kids, I think you can handle anything. Best wishes, enjoy the party!
2006-12-20 12:58:39 · answer #3 · answered by MerryKerry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have already broken the ice by telling his parents "she has 5 kids too!!!"
How do you think his mom and dad will feel getting that dropped on them first time you meet them - heck I would be scared too! He needs to let them over xmas after they open your gifts - nice touch.....
If his parents needs some time to digest the news they can skip new years party and when they're ready and they will be you can meet them....
2006-12-20 12:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by D. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be yourself. If you seem stressed and nervous they will be able to tell. Being a bit nervous is a good thing because that means you care about what they think, but too nervous will get you stressed out and even act different around them. You want to be assertive and sure about yourself and you will do just fine... Best Wishes, I am sure you'll be fine
2006-12-20 12:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by anonymous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself. Now is a good time to meet them. Sure was nice of you to buy gifts for them all, not never meeting them before. The boyfriend likes you, they probably will too.
2006-12-20 12:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I met my boyfriend's parents three days after we started going out and its not that bad, but what can I tell you I am only 17.
Just relax and you will be fine
2006-12-20 13:38:39 · answer #7 · answered by Emma G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop worring about that as long as he loves u and u love him yall will be alright and at least they got a gift its the thought that counts!
2006-12-20 12:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by amber f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should relaxx... and act your self... tryy to get along more with the mom because girls connect more with each other... but dont get me wrong try to be nice to the dad.... make sure you show your manners and don't ignore your man... =))
2006-12-20 12:50:17 · answer #9 · answered by msz cool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cause hes parents dose like dosent mean he will stops liking u
2006-12-20 12:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋