never do to your own kids?
2006-12-20 12:41:25 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
As a dad yes I find myself doing it all the time and you know what I turned out just fine. I am a Minister and own my own business so I guess what my parents did worked, and I don't think I could have done any better then them so I do much the same way.
2006-12-21 04:42:06 · answer #1 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW. yes I do!! All the time. My parents were strict (well dad was - mom was the pushover but I didn't dare p*ss her off) and I turned out as a responsible,kind,caring human being with good morals and values. Now, I'm trying to instill this into my 4 boys, two of which are stepsons who came from a VERY undisciplined,unstructured home. One thing I learned is the "curse" will get you -- "I hope when you grow up you have children that act like you do".. people, it works!!!! I did have kids just like me, as did my brother. But,the best we can do,is try and try again, give them the tools they need to survive as healthy,happy,productive members of society, and PRAY they utilize those tools. If they choose not to,it's not necessarily because you didn't try. No one has a handbook for this... and that's too bad...how much easier it would be! It's ok for them to hate you sometimes... if they don't, then you're not doing your job as a parent. Eventually, they will grow up too, and realize YOU were right.
Good luck!
2006-12-20 12:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by Momof4boys 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You got some very serious answers there!
I do stuff to my kids ALL THE TIME that I was certain I wouldnt!
1 Say no you cant eat those chocolate biscuits/chips/anything yum in the pantry, theyre for school/Christmas/the party (as a kid I thought it was so mean not to let your kids eat the good stuff all the time. Now I realise its just planning ahead and good nutrition.)
2 Wear my pyjamas in front of their friends (as a kid I thought that was soooo embarassing. Now I realise my children and I dont keep the same hours and pyjamas are comfortable)
3 Make friends with my kids friends (as a horrid teenager this was embarassing when my parents tried to be 'cool'. Now I realise its just common sense to be nice to your kids friends. And hey - I am cool! Maybe?)
4 I promised myself I would ALWAYS buy my kids the expensive brand name clothes that they like. (Now I realise its just not affordable!)
5 I swore I would never use the phrase ; "because I said so". (Now I realise I say it probally once a day!!!! And it annoys my kids as much as it used to annoy me.)
There's probally more too!
2006-12-20 13:07:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
With some things. Like, getting a short temper and telling her no about everything, but I'm trying to change NOW! I've caught myself praising her on things she does good and trying to stay calm and TEACH her why things are wrong instead of just yelling at her. That's a start and she's still young so it won't have a lasting effect from what I've done before (she's 14 months). I am trying to change the habits my parents have forced on me so she has a happier, healthier childhood and grows up to be a strong adult.
I think most people do this at some point...I guess it's because we grow up and realize it wasn't so bad afterall!
2006-12-20 12:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by Hootie562 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's part of your programming, which is why potential parents should take some time to examine their own hearts to understand whether things like this may come up in their own childrearing. It's also at the heart of so much bigotry. Despite all that, it's still a crapshoot and you just do what you have to do in the best way you know how.
2006-12-20 12:46:34 · answer #5 · answered by Reo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Yes, Yes....My mother passed away when I was 11 and since then my father pretty much let us do what we wanted. Luckely we had a good head on our shoulder and didn't get into too much trouble, but I did do my share of running around. I'm scared that if I don't dicipline MY children wright that they might do the things I did. I wouldn't want that at all! I just hope I'm doing it right. God do I ever wish that I could ask my mother's advice on parenting. Wish she could be here!
2006-12-20 13:07:34 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's what I say too. My has been throwing suits plenty lately. he's getting more beneficial proper yet he's utilising me loopy. I basically get all the way right down to his factor the position ever we are and tell him there is not any reason to cry. Then move on to say if he desires me to i will furnish him some thing to cry about. unusually, he's attentive to that and stops.
2016-12-01 00:45:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to admit it but yes! But sometimes I catch myself and modify it to what I think works best for my child. Let's face it, many of us have memories of stuff our parents did that just didn't sit well. And other things (now that I'm a parent) I understand and are very valuable. So, do what works for you, and remember how u felt when u were a kid, then ask yourself as a parent if you honestly feel that it is beneficial.
2006-12-20 15:03:52 · answer #8 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just what you're talking about and it's a scary thing too. You start to realize that your parents weren't wrong after all. But just until you get a little older and wake up, look in the mirror and think your mother there; and it's you!
2006-12-20 12:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Learned behaviors are now automatic, and we have to fdind wayts to not be judgemental, violent, abusive and we must not allow others to do thoise things to outr kids either. Therapy, or The Landmark Education Corporation program The Forum, reading good parenting books, finding good supportive fiorneds who you can get ideas from....and do not allow the grandparents to do to your kids what they did to you.
2006-12-20 12:55:40 · answer #10 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋