I want tell her some words for comfort but I just can't seem to find them. If any one can help a prayer, a poem , anything I would great appreciate it . thank you all in advance
2006-12-20 12:33:58 · 20 answers · asked by James 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
"I'm sorry for your loss..." is a start. Maybe clean up with, "Is there anything I can do?"
2006-12-20 12:36:11 · answer #1 · answered by Atlas 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and real, and above all, be yourself. After telling her that you are SO sorry for her loss (since I'm sure that you are), admit to her that you just don't know what to say and that you just want her to know that you are there for her. She will appreciate your honesty. Give her a hug, and then be prepared to listen! Be patient, loving, understanding, and kind while she deals with the initial shock, which can be quite devastating.
Allow her to cry whenever she feels the need, without feeling embarrassed or thinking that you will be helping her if you can get her to stop. This is an important part of her healing. Just hold her while she weeps. This will be a great comfort to her.
And please don't be afraid to talk about the loved one she has lost! She will need to come to terms with her loss, and part of the process includes talking about things her loved one has said or done, aspects of his or her personality, feelings of guilt or regret that she may have, or even the loss itself. Let your friend take the lead, though; then gently join her in her reminiscences and encourage her to begin to look toward the future as soon as she is able.
Offer to help her in every way you can. If she will receive it, point her toward God, who is the greatest Comforter of all during such times. As someone who has been there--losing someone very close very suddenly and completely unexpectedly--and someone who was fortunate enough to have such loving support from family and friends, I know that these things help. Good luck, and God bless you for caring!
2006-12-20 21:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by JD 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I suppose that would depend on what religion you are. If you're a Christian, you could look at Psalm 23, or Psalm 62. There is also a song by David Haas called "You are Mine", that is very comforting.
The link is below, to the album. There is a button on the page to play the song. Why not give it a try. I've sung and played this song at a number of Christian funerals. There is also a version of Psalm 62 by John Michael talbott.
Other than that, while I used to be a Christian, I'm now a Pagan. If you would like a bit of a Pagan perspective, you can email me.
2006-12-20 20:52:06 · answer #3 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found that when someone loses someone they are close to its best to listen and let them talk, or just be a shoulder to cry on. There really isn't anything good to say because no words make it right. Just let your friend know that you are sorry that she is going through this and that you are here for her, and do little things to make her life easier. For example you can bring dinner to her or help her clean the house, or whatever. Just things to take away the normal stresses of life.
2006-12-20 20:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by ÜFÖ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes saying little or nothing helps more than you can imagine.
Be there, lend your shoulder, comfort without words, let her talk with just a yes, or it's okay interjected here and there.
Really Just be there. Emotional support is what she needs right now, words of comfort will come later.
I am truly sorry for you and your friend, I will keep you in my prayers
Christian in Pa
Penny
2006-12-20 20:43:14 · answer #5 · answered by Penny Mae 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When shocking news hits, though we want to offer nice words, the best words let our friends know that we are very sorry for their loss and are there if they need us. Much beyond that and you are really speaking to make yourself feel better and they don't really hear them anyway. If you really are a prayer, tell your friend that his/her family will be in your prayers tonight/tomorrow.
2006-12-20 20:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words. Just be there for your good friend, nothing needed to say, a hug perhaps, a gentle touch on her shoulder, she'll know you care. God bless you all.
By the way, "babyinwom" (answer #2)....pretty odd website for an atheist!
2006-12-20 20:49:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you could ever say in this situation is "I am very/so sorry for your loss." Anything else or more sounds trite and meaningless to one who has lost a loved one, no matter how poetic or pure or wonderful your intentions are. They only need you to be there for them. You want to do more because you love them and you feel helpless, but there is not much else to do.
2006-12-20 20:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by Squirtle 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear of your loss.I'll say a prayer of comfort in these difficult times !
2006-12-20 21:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well,I will pray for you your friend and her family . Maybe you could say "Well, if there`s anything that I can do to help you get through this,,just let me know." I know how hard it is. having a loved one or a close friend pass on near a holiday. One of my close friends passed on near a special holiday.Well, don`t worry,I`ll pray for you all.Merry Christmas!
2006-12-20 20:43:43 · answer #10 · answered by maddisongrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes just "being there" and saying nothing is a comfort. Allow them to grieve while letting them know that they call the shots. You are at their beck and call. Name it, and you'll do it.
2006-12-20 20:38:33 · answer #11 · answered by lookn2cjc 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋