About two weeks ago my boyfriend and I were having some trouble. Currently I am 21 weeks pregnant.. Anyway he told his parents about the argument and his mom and dad both said that they didnt want me to come around during the holidays. We have been together just over 6yrs. We come from the same town and are home for the holidays. He is trying to make me go to his house. I dont want to because both his mom and dad hate me and they made a point of it,his mom has some kind of anger issues she called me just about 2 wks ago and told me she would have a restraining order and all of this other BS. I dont hold any kind of grudges or anything I am a really nice person and I wish I could say that about his parents as well. Anyway I really dont know what to do.. I would say I am sorry but I wasnt the one that exchanged the bad words. I feel as if they are the ones who owe me an apology. But I feel bad that my bf is in the middle.
2006-12-20 12:26:45 · 18 answers · asked by vidamar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The reason why she said she wants a restraining order is so that I dont have any right to come around her house. Which is stupid because I have never done any harm to her or any of her family. I personally think she is jealous of the relationship me and her son have. We love each so very much. I know when things go a lil sour my bf feels he vents to his mom. Anyway the whole thing with us and his parents arent good. They even told him that he has other parents now and that they have other kids when he has tried to stick up for me. They are really unreasonable and its frustrating because they have somewhat apologized to him but have yet to say anything to me.I think they just feel stupid. My parents are so upset that they would say such things to me and my bf. My mom and dad would never say such things to John..afterall he is a sweetie. And they wonder how in the the world they cannot seem to like me.
2006-12-20 13:55:16 · update #1
Until you feel like everything is resolved, I would not go to his parents house. Any stress that you are under will effect the baby that you are carrying. Why not have him go to your parents house instead and let the holidays be a happy time for you both. It is up to your baby's father to smooth things over, since he was the one who mentioned the fight. In the future, he should keep those things to himself anf not get his parents involved. Should you get married in the future, you would hate for this to become a habit. He should tell them he wants them to treat you with respect, otherwise, don't feel like it is your respondsibility to "fix" this.
2006-12-20 13:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by godsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In relationships, it is the person's place to deal with their own parents. First, he should not have involved them. If there is already bad feelings, this just makes the problem larger. You are pregnant...if you intend for your boyfriend to be in you and your babies lives, then I would not do anything to antagonize them any further. Sounds like the parents need to grow up and not be fighting battles for their son. If they want a relationship with their grandchild, they need to make an effort to get along with everyone involved. I would not go there for the holidays, which will show that you respect their wishes and avoid any further problems. Maybe you, your boyfriend, and all parents involved need to have a meeting and discuss the most important part of all these relationships...the child you are carrying.
2006-12-20 21:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by mamaonetexasone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have a different opinion, You don't say what the argument was, and you don't say why she threatened a restraining order. I think there is more to this story and you may be as guilty as they are. You are fixing to have a child, so you will understand that what you want is best for them and to protect them. They will be in your life for a long time, and the greandparents of your child. I think what you have stated here is one sided and you need to make an effort with them as much and they do with you.
2006-12-20 21:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by dana j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recently went through the same thing with my mother in law. Just deal with it for a while, let yor bf know that you are very uncomfortable and right now you are pregnant and don't need to deal with anything that's stressful. He needs to understand, that if his mother feels that strong about not liking you, there's nothing you can do to make her change her mind, but make the situation worse for him. You're not putting him in the middle, his parents are. Just keep your distance and take care of the baby.
2006-12-20 21:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by niecy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should go. Maybe they said some stuff they didn't mean. Tell your boyfriend that he better stay by your side the entire time and if anything disrespectful or mean is said to you, you expect him to tell his family that he won't tolerate that kind of rudeness towards his girlfriend and that the two of you are leaving. And then get up and leave. You don't have to say a word. In fact it would be better if you didn't. Let him say anything that needs said. But make sure he agrees to all that before you agree to go.
2006-12-20 20:55:23 · answer #5 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen very carefully ...forget about all the negative things everybody is telling you to do sometimes you cannot fight fire with fire.......kill them with kindness.you are pregnant and you dont need any trauma harming your baby that is too important right now I would go and smile and speak indly to everyone so they cannot have more to say about you.............if it gets confrontational (physical) I suggest you leave immediately.......whether you have to call a cab, ask your bf to take you or drive yourself. Remember that this is a very delicate time in your life and that is more important than anybody right now
2006-12-20 20:47:56 · answer #6 · answered by mizznini 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little like my in-laws. I do the whole 'kill them with kindness' but even after 4 years of marriage, they still really don't accept me. Not sure why because I've been nothing but nice to them. I say you should just take care of yourself, your boyfriend and your soon to be baby. It's hard when his parents don't like you but don't let it get to you.
2006-12-20 21:55:49 · answer #7 · answered by omgrachie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you from experience, that it can be really rough to deal with your boyfriend's parents. When I was dating my now husband, they tried everything to get us to split up. It was crazy. I would say, that it doesn't say much for your guy that he wants to put you in a situation where you are uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, obviously you must see some good in him or else you wouldn't still be with him right? My best advice to you is to be very careful where his family is concerned!
2006-12-20 20:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I will tell you the same thing I tell people who are married; you marry each other, not the inlaws. If they do not like you, fine. You do NOT have to go visit them. And, it is THEIR house. If they do not want certain people to visit them, that is THEIR choice, not their son's choice. Don't loose any sleep over this one. Mind games are not worth the bother.
2006-12-20 20:55:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't condescend to the parents' level and be an a*s to them. Be better and be as civil as possible. It's not like they can hate you forever. After all, you're carrying their grandchild..
Best of luck.
2006-12-20 21:15:06 · answer #10 · answered by mjn1242cal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋