Why does society look down on virgins?

Question

Why do people think that; because a person hasn't done it yet, they are instantly marked as inferior?

I ask this because my bf and I are both virgins and we're planning to lose it on our wedding night (which we think it should be just as special as the wedding itself.)

We want to tell each other on that special night, without words and in the purest way, that we belong to each other, always belonged to each other and to no one else and that we basically love each other to death.

However, lately my boy has been quite depressed and has started to do things out of the ordinary. I asked him what was up, and he told me that everyone he knows has already had sex and he'd been getting messages from all over the place telling him that being a virgin makes him less of a man.

I want to know is; What is wrong with being a virgin? why are we mocked?

I want serious answers, and if anyone tries to advertise a dating site in their answer or something, I have them reported! Thanks.

Answer 1

I don't think female virgins are marked as "inferior" because it seems that society thinks that a woman is a virgin by choice, whereas if a man is a virgin, it is because he hasn't had the opportunity to have sex yet, and maybe in that sense he is viewed as inexperienced in love by some.

However don't let him or yourself get peer pressured into having sex, you will regret it if you don't do it for the right reasons. Especially you (the girl) as you seem to place a lot of value on your virginity.

I used to think like you did but as I got older my curiousity got the best of me and I gave it away to a boyfriend I had had for maybe a few weeks. However I don't regret it because I did it for MY reasons, not because he made me feel like I had to. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you HAVE to have sex, if your BF goes there, dump him like a hot potato - it is extremely disrespectful and a sign that he does not love you.

Also there was a story out on CNN.com the other day saying that about 95% of women have had premarital sex... so that also skews society's perception of virginity a little.

bottom line: Do what YOU TWO want to do.... and screw everyone else. It is none of their business anyway!!

Answer 2

Well you know, what you have is very special. It's the one gift that after you give it away you can never get it back.

The world is tainted, society is desensitized...

I don't think society looks down on virgins, I just think that the peer pressure that comes with sex is huge. Guys are tough on one another, you'll call it making love we'll call it banging. He is going to endure a lot of pressure from his friends, especially if up to his wedding day he doesnt have sex. He's a man too, so he's going to have urges. He doesnt want to wait! I can tell you that, he wants it and bad too.

There are good reasons for both waiting and not.

Wait because you want a pure heart and a pure relationship, because you want to look good in the eyes of God.

Don't wait because you want to experience life and you want to enjoy eachother and the best parts of eachother, you want to experience what sex will be like when you're married. Before you're married.

Sex is a big factor, in relationships, what if it's bad?

Now days more people don't wait and than people that do, it just all depends on what you can live with morally in your heart.

I don't think you should put so much pressure on yourselves, just enjoy life and don't let a piece of paper and a ring dictate how you live your life.

Do what you want to do, good luck, I hope the best for you and your man.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. I want to wait till my wedding day I decided that when I was 9. I'm 13 right now. Congratulations to both of you. I know some kids in my school let me empathize the KIDS part that are not virgins anymore. I think they're crazy. I think that you're just mocked because everyone thinks that if someone is not like them then they are not normal and are really stupid for it. Again congratulations on waiting.

Answer 4

I am sorry that is happening. I will say that my husband was a virgin when he married me and he isn't looked down on. What you and he will find out is that almost everyone what has sex before marriage regrets it and then envies those that saved themselves. In fact i wouldn't doubt that if some of his friends do that right now and are too chicken to say so or are pressing him into having sex so they don't feel as bad. I would suggest he find a church that has accountability partners for the young men. He will get perspective on his own sexuality. He has to be a real man and get an accountability partner himself, though you can suggest it. He should also have his father and pastor help him to locate one. If you want more help message me.

Answer 5

Dear young lady, being a female virgin is a "vertue" to her and a "an honour" to her family. This is the tradition in many societies; in particular, of the eastern world or even in some rural areas of eastern european countries.
In case of a "virgin male" living in those socieities, apparently there is not nuch significance given when it comes to mariage. Sometimes, however, the virgin male is much more favourable than a previously married man or a play boy.
I see no shame for your BF to bare. He is a young man of principles and not less of a man at all.
Go ahead both of you and get married the way you have planned as long as you are both mature and at legal age. Bless you both.

Answer 6

ok it all starts in the kind of society we live in. the tvs and movies and music that are dirty (which started way way back) make people think sex is a good thing. when my parents were young (in the 60's and 70's) they said they couldnt even talk about sex, not even to friends. it was THAT big of deal. then when ppl started seeing it on tv they took it as more of a pleasure thing instead of "making love" and something that was so sacred. nowadays the guys watch porn and all that and think they are cool and feel controlling because they have had sex! even guys as young as 12 start talking about that saying stuff like "yea i looked at her boobs" and stuff like that. then as they get older it turns into "GUESS WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT!!!" and yea. . . i completely agree that virgins shud not be shunned upon, especially when you are young.

Answer 7

Society does not look down on Virgins - they are not special, they are not different, they are not inferior or superior. Most people view it that way.

Just because you may no a few people who mock "virgins" it doesnt mean the whole of society thinks that way.

You should know, that most people couldn't give a cr@p!

Answer 8

You didn't say what age bracket you are in but there is nothing wrong for you to wait until you are married. It has gotten to the point that people consider good things bad and bad things good.
Tell your hubby to be that his friends are liars. It has been shown that the majority that say they have had sex are really lying just so they can fit in.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Wither you are a virgin or not, there is always somebody out there ready to judge you. People are judged for having sex along with not having sex.

Answer 10

i don't think society looks down on that. society today has thrown away many of it's values and morals but just because some of society has chosen to do that, it doesn't make it wrong for you and your value system..what makes us all individuals is having the conviction to stand up for what we believe in no matter the surrounding peer or societal pressures..i waited until i was married and didn't care what anyone else thought