i havent met my boyfriends daughter yet, what should i expect?

Question

i love her dad very much, i want to be a mother figure for her, her mother has nothing to do with her...

Answer 1

I hope everything goes well for you, when you meet her. But be prepared... She might be distance from you, and that's only because she wants her daddy, If her mother doesn't have anything to do with her, she'll want it from him. Go slowly....................Even if your not her mother, do mother,daughter type things with her. You didn't say how old she is, but for instance, take her to the mall, and go shopping. Maybe go and have her make-up and hair done, then meet Dad for lunch or dinner, somewhere nice so she can show off a bit, Make sure that dad is very happy and excited to see the new and improved HER. Understand, That she just might not want you around, But if she is feels she is included in things with you and dad, she might not ever had the feeling of family. You'll also need time so that dad and daughter can have some alone time together, this is very important... God bless you! I know you'll have an excellent relationship with her.

Answer 2

Slow down there. Proceed with caution.
Depending on how old she is, you are just in the way of her fantasy of mom and dad getting back together. Most kids have it and it takes a long time for that fantasy to go away. I would enter into this relationship as a positive female role model. As you get to know each other there will be days she wants you to be the mother figure and days when she wants you to back-off. Those are valid feelings. Just be supportive and keep her best interest at heart (whether she agrees with you or not).

Answer 3

How old is she? A young child may welcome a new mother figure but an older one could be hurting from her mom's rejection and not want to risk a new connection. Or she could still be harboring hope her mom will come back to be a family and resent you. I know that's tough to hear but it can happen. The best thing to do is be low key. Be friendly and open to her. Treat her the way you would a niece at first. If she wants more from you she'll let you know. The nicer you are to her and the more accepting you are of the relationship she chooses with you the more she will trust you which is most important. My stepson was not quite 2 when DH and I married, he is now 10 and with us on a shared custody schedule. His mom is not the best but she is the one he got. I'm one of his parents, I love him and he needs to respect my rules but I don't try to take his mom's place. I think it makes it easier for him to enjoy being with us too since I don't push him to let me mother him. I tell him "I know I'm not your mom but you are one of my sons and I love you." They try to make him call his stepdad "daddy" and it confuses him and makes him feel ashamed when my DH is around. Take your time and she will show you what she needs.

Answer 4

Hold your horses sweety.... This child needs a friend first! No need to go stepping in and taking on the mother role just yet! Build a relationship with her just as you did with her dad! You don't have to be a "mother figure" to be a "good" figure to her. Build her trust and everything else will hopefully fall in place. Just don't be surprised if she resents you for taking up some (or most) of daddy's time.

Answer 5

It's nice to you want to take part in her life... but don't go all SWF (single white female ) on her. Unless you are engaged to be married or are married to her dad... don't come at her as a mother figure. It's hard bcus she doesn't have one but you assigning yourself that role without warrant is likely to get you in trouble. Be her friend, a playmate, a shopping buddy. Take it slow and then when you and her dad are going to settle down she'll already accept you as a parental figure and a friend. But until then leave the parent part out.

Answer 6

What ever you do please just b/c you love her father don't go out and buy her things just so that she will like you. Don't jump in and try to take control as her mother figure after all your not married to her dad. Just take it slow and allow her to feel comfortable with you. Why is it that you are in love with dad but you haven't met the daughter yet? good luck to you all.

Answer 7

You are lucky in the sense that the mother is out of the picture. Don't forget she may come back and you are biting off a lifelong commitment. How old is the daughter? And you are only going to make it through this relationship with both with the patience and discipline to never come first, you are already third in line!!!!

Answer 8

You didn't say how long you two have been dating, or how old his daughter is. There could be all sorts of reasons why your boyfriend hasn't introduced you to his daughter yet, but I wouldn't worry about it. Your boyfriend will introduce you to his daughter when he feels its time. Don't rush him, and don't push the issue. When you do meet his daughter, don't try to be a mother figure to her - just try to be her friend. She may resent you for trying to be her mother, just love her and be there for her and be her friend.

Answer 9

you can never replace her mom whether she plays an active role in her daughters life. the best you can do is be a friend. don't try to discipline her- that is her father's job. how old is the daughter? her age has alot to do with what to expect. if she is a young girl then she may take to you almost immediately. but if she is alittle older be prepared for some major resentment.

Answer 10

SEE YOU next 3 hundred and sixty 5 days! xo EDIT: Oh, wait, I study the question. i think of reported "female" could be allowed to this factor somewhat earlier an arranged marriage like this. something isn't suited right here. became the mummy paid off? Does the lady have "topics" and that's the final her mom feels she would be in a position to get? This only looks unsavory. although, one hundred years in the past, such preparations have been elementary in the U. S.. each so often the adult males have been plenty older.