I let my friend (a female) spend the night at my place. She came over and fell asleep watching t.v. By the time we woke up it was late and I didn't want her driving home. I didn't think it was a problem for her to stay over since we've been friends since we were kids. I never mentioned it to my girlfriend because it wasn't a big deal to me. She found out and now she's upset. I told her nothing happened, but she won't listen.
2006-12-20 11:29:43 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sounds almost too good to be true!
2006-12-20 11:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Classic case of... since you didn't say anything, she has no way of telling how many other "issues" you're keeping from her.
Personally, I think you were right when you had your friend stay over. Should'a mentioned it to your girlfriend though. The bottom line is, if there is no trust, there is no relationship. If she doesn't feel she can trust you, your relationship is basically over. You may be able to save it, but you'll have to work extra extra hard trying to prove you're trustworthy. If only you were able to rewind the clock and let her know immediately. You might not be here asking this question :-) Of course, she should have more faith in you than she seems to have... but the root of the problem is, you didn't tell her. Instead she "found out"... but, to answer "is it cheating", heck no. It's looking out for the welfare of a friend, and nothing more. If your friend would've crashed her car on the way home, it would haunt you far longer than an argument with your girlfriend.
2006-12-20 11:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by zosofan59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact is that you didn't tell her that your friend slept over. It may not seem like a big deal to you as you and her have been friends since you were kids, but to your girlfriend it is a big deal. I don't think the problem is with your friend sleeping over but the simple fact that you failed to mention it. Would you be alright if she had a long time guy friend sleepover, even though nothing happened? And the fact that you didn't mention it to your girlfriend makes it seem like you have something to hide about the whole situations. I'd be pretty upset if I was in the same situation. But give it time and all you can do is tell her what happened, it might even help if she heard it from your friend.
2006-12-20 11:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not cheating at all. Some people have different definitions of cheating, and they can be very specific. Some people consider hand-holding cheating, while others consider oral sex not cheating. It's all relative, and apparently your girl is jealous of the other girl and does not trust that you can keep your willie in your pants. This is a sign of a more serious trust issue, and chances are that it will not get any better. Women don't forget such things, especially when they talk to their girlfriends who will tell them "oh yeah! a guy and a girl spending the night at the same place?!?! That's cheating!" and she'll believe them before she believes you.
2006-12-20 11:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If nothing happened then you should have told her straight after it happened. The only reason you would hide something like that is if your feeling guilty. If nothing happened then no its not cheating but i can understand why ur gf is upset, u need to talk to her about it and not let your friend come over for a while, at least when ur gf isnt there.
2006-12-20 11:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by Onie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
put yourself in your girlfriends shoes and see how you would like it. why was she at your house without your girlfriend being there and why are you so secretive and not tell your girlfriend. I"d be pissed too. If you aren't honest with her now and doing stunts like this what will happen if and when you marry the girlfriend. it will be one lie after another and more problems. If the girlfriend were smart she would get out now and move to someone who isn't going to have secrets and do stupid things.
2006-12-20 11:39:56 · answer #6 · answered by anneefreez 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-15 08:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad situation!
You need to be mature in your approach - bring your friend over and all sit down and confirm to your partner that nothing happened...
You are pushing your partners trust threshhold... bad idea. Even if the she perceives that you are mucking around then your trust is damaged - possibly irrepairably.
Be sensitive to your partners fears and assure her of your love etc etc... She will come around.
Good luck!
2006-12-20 11:33:50 · answer #8 · answered by AndyLoops 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong with what you did. Your g/f is insecure of your relationship. Do both females get along? Friends since kids well there's nothing wrong with that.
2006-12-21 08:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by Clara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i always tell people "put yourself in the other persons shoes. you didn't tell her or invite her to hang out with your friend, how does that look? if she told you the same thing you would probably be skeptical that she was telling the truth. if you really love your girl or any girl, you will have to eventually let go of the childhood friend.
2006-12-20 11:38:17 · answer #10 · answered by The Key Master 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically its not cheating but reverse those roles how would you feel if you found out that another guy slept over at her house? i know i would be very upset.
2006-12-20 12:32:09 · answer #11 · answered by Hanky P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋