me and my bf had a big fight because i felt that he wanted me to go home on sat night and i reacted badly and gave him all the stuff he has given me back the jewerally ect . and i told him we were over . anyway that night i thought we sorted things out to find the next day he was telling me to take all my stuff home . then he didnt call me for 3 days . now he has called me and told me that know matter what happens he loves me and thats he still needs to think over things .i have said lets break up quite alot of times in fights just out of anger. he also said to me on the phone thats he miss me lots but he cant stop thinking about the bad things i have done .. i have told him how sorry i am and i will change but now his thinking and he said he will call back soon . do you think he will end it and what can i do to prevent losing him i love him and we been together for 1 an half years
2006-12-20 11:13:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him space and let him work out what he really wants. If you pressure him it will just push him further away. Just give it some time and if its meant to be it will all work out! Good luck
2006-12-20 11:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Onie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Number 1: Always think of what you feel towards this relationship. Do you want to continue it or not? Do you love this guy?
After you have thought about that, if you decide you do love him, and want him back you should call him asking him to meet you in private. Being alone helps him focus on you and you two can mend things and talk about your problems. Keeping problems avoided does not help the relationship at all. Tell him that you just said you wanted to break up because you were angry with him. And also apologize that you said it out of anger. You dont have to apologize for everything because you have to admit and address that sometimes he isnt perfect either. I suggest that since it has been a long relationship, a big fight has to happen sometime. Its part of every relationship!
If hes still telling you he misses you and loves you, it means he wants to get back together or still has feelings for you! He just probably doesnt want to be the first to apologize and feels hes right. Help him out if you dont want to end this relationship and say sorry first! Admit that you said some things you regret and maybe that will help you two get back together!
2006-12-20 11:25:24 · answer #2 · answered by Sexy Muskrat<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off even out of anger you should NEVER say things you do not mean because in the end they will end up biting you in the a-s-s its that simple. Give him the space he needs maybe he is finally thinking about all the mean things you have said or done and feels you are not the right person for him. If he's given you chances over and over again to prove you will change and they all end up the same way your not going to change. It doesn't matter how much you love someone if you can not treat them well it wont work. And when I mean treat them well even if your thinking your treating them well and they are telling you that you are not treating them well guess whose right, they are! From the men I know based just on what you have said here they wouldn't want to be with you everyone has enough drama in their lives they don't need it in their relationships. Give him space do not call him and yes he'll miss you, you two were together for 18 months doesn't mean he wants to be with you and if that is what he chooses move on and learn to act right.
2006-12-20 11:22:28 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you know you can only treat someone badly for so long until they say, hey, you know what? LOVE ISN'T ENOUGH anymore....and it's too late to cry when it's over.
Don't take for granted what you have when it's a good thing. Why would you treat him so bad? You know people will be kind to a total stranger yet treat the ones they love like trash.
You may never get a chance to make things right and you will have to face that.
Why should he believe you this time? When you've done the same thing over and over and been "sorry" each time too.
Maybe you need to lose this guy so you will learn how badly you've behaved and maybe next time around you'll do things differently.
You've damaged his self respect for himself, and he's realizing that, and he needs time now and you should give him that time. He just might decide that he is worth being treated better than how you've treated him, and you know what? He's RIGHT.
If he gives you another chance you are damned lucky!! Remember though it's likely your last one too.
Tell him how sorry you are and that you are going to use this time to analyse why you behave so badly and treat him the way you do and you know what? DO THAT. It could be you have very low self esteem too and maybe don't feel you deserve to be loved and treat him badly to push him away. Really look at yourself and your behaviour and when you get together again, talk about what you've discovered about yourself.
2006-12-20 11:18:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe if someone REALLY loves you they would never need to spend time away from you. The only way to really work something out is to talk it out until both of you feel comfortable with the situation.
If you really love him. Prove to him that you want to change. Make an appointment with a counselor or therapist for yourself and maybe suggest the two of you go to a relationship counselor together so that you can learn how to communicate better. You don't really wan to be having these kind of fights with the person you love right? So, you need to learn how to change that behavior.
My bf and I work really, really hard at our relationship and do anything we can to make it stronger everyday. We have been through some tough times like you but we have made it through and we are on the right track. You can do the same thing if you and your bf want the same thing.
2006-12-20 11:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by winterstorm23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just need to stop playing mind games with him, example: breaking up with him when you're angry. The more you do that the more he'll actually want to leave you. If you still want to be with him you need to do more than just saying you're sorry. An apology won't make up for the things you've done. Maybe you can find a way to show him your sorry. You need to change some things about yourself in order to keep this guy, otherwise the cycle will keep repeating itself until he actually leaves you for good. Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him and try to work things out. You still have a chance. Good luck!
2006-12-20 11:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by LOVE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do the same thing!!! You really need to look within yourself and grow up. It's not easy, sometimes we find that we want to try to hurt the other person out of anger, but don't do it! If you truly love him so much then you'll understand if he wants a break from you. Just hang in there and use the time to think things over. Work on yourself and any personal problems you may be going through. Just work it out, things will be ok. :)
2006-12-20 11:17:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this realtionship is very immature. Breaking up and getting back together repeatedly is not healthy. If you are quick to "break up" everytime that you get angry then I would say that it would be a good idea for you to take this time and figure out that it is OK for you to be on your own. You can't look for someone to complete you. When you learn that you are OK on your own then you will meet someone that you feel is worthy of adding to it. That is the goal for each of us. It sounds like your bf is just tired of the drama. Give him some space. Work on yourself. No matter what happens...if you do that, you will be the better for it! Good LUCK!
2006-12-20 11:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by Ginger P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the most important thing in a relationship is Trust, Communication, and Respect..... u need to figure out why u keep gettin so mad at him, and deal with it....and if you are always saying "its over its over " thats not helping the situation... so what u need to do is plan something for the both of you that you know that he would like, talk to him, open up and tell him that you will TRY and change but you need him to help you.. tell him what he means to you, re-llive all the good times that you two had togather.... be nice and dont go over reacting it wont get you anywhere.
2006-12-20 11:21:48 · answer #9 · answered by sweetness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you truly want to be with him, then you should change the fact that you could be over reacting at times, don't just say you will but actually do it, actions speak far louder than just words, you may need to show him that you are actually going to change this negative fact about yourself for him, about the space thing, i would try to talk to him and stuff just be careful not to over do it to the point he feels like you are bugging him...
2006-12-20 11:18:33 · answer #10 · answered by Justin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uuugh i have been there! i didn't let him have space when he asked for it and we ended up ok. lol. but i wouldn't recommend not listening to him when he asks for space. since it is so close to christmas....if i were you i would make something really sentimental for him.....an ideal present would be a scrapbook of memories you have shared, photos, movie ticket stubs, anything you have that represents a memory of the two of you. make it great and go over on christmas eve and give it to him.....just drop it off. give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, tell him you miss him and merry christmas. then go. and i reckon that will work for sure...it will remind him of all the good times you have shared....adn everyone is sentimental and emotional at christmas...this is what i would do! so get off of yahoo! and go start making a scrap book of memories before it's too late!! GOOD LUCK
2006-12-20 11:18:35 · answer #11 · answered by purple__penguin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋