My fiance and I are worried that there will be people upset or that they won't have as good of a time at our reception if there is no band/dj and alcohol at it. IF I agree to have those things we will have to change (what we want to be) our reception site from our church family center to another venue, since neither or allowed on the church grounds. Neither of us care about drinking ourselves, but we are really concerned about everyone just "standing around looking at each other". Music & drinks tend to go hand in hand... What should we do?
2006-12-20 11:06:24 · 58 answers · asked by onehottaxidermist 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, it's your decision. The only people that wont care what your wedding is or isn't is your true friends and family
2006-12-20 11:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
If you are concerned about other people having a good time, then definitely go for the change of venue, and have drinks and music. People love this stuff, and many would be disappointed without it. I know I would be, and I'm not a party person or a drinker - I just like having a good time, and there's a certain expectation to have music/dancing/drinks at a reception. But it is also true that people will be happy for you, and will probably enjoy the reception anyway (although, I would word the invitations in such a way as to give them an idea of what to expect). Bottom line is, there's a good balance between doing what you REALLY want to do, and making sure other people enjoy themselves. If you REALLY want to have your reception at a place that doesn't allow certain things - then so be it. But if it is something you feel you can safely compromise on, I would recommend picking a different site.
2006-12-20 11:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of this from an objective viewpoint (as a total stranger, I don't think I can be more objective). You are a young couple who in the next few months will be spending lots of money on things like a wedding dress, a honeymoon, household necessities, possibly a new place to live, etc. Despite all this, you will still be a gracious couple and provide refreshments, cake, punch, etc. to your family and friends--(a reception is not a requirement to get married!) So here you are, you're providing good food and the opportunity for people to visit with each other and someone would be TASTELESS enough to complain or blow it off because your reception isn't the kegger of the month!!!!
I've been to many receptions that didn't feature alcohol or dancing, and I can tell you from experience if you have free food available to almost any crowd, they will be entertained for at least awhile. Talk to your pastor, coordinator, etc. about planning events at the reception-- cutting the cake, tossing the bouquet-- at the proper intervals so that there won't be a lull in the reception. Ok, so without a DJ you might not dance the night away, but most couples are usually grateful for a few hours to rest between the hassle of the wedding and rushing off for a honeymoon. However, with proper planning, you should be able to plan a nice reception. Also, keep in mind that couples often spend months or years in "wedding" debt because they insisted on items such as DJs and drinks that are often ignored and wasted.
2006-12-20 16:40:26 · answer #3 · answered by jc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan a nice dinner that includes some entertainment - perhaps a live band or a soloist/pianist - instead of a DJ and make sure to have a nice program as well. Just realize that without dancing/alcohol your guests will not hang around long after the dinner and program are over.
Another option is to plan a "after party" which could mean inviting your guests to go to a bar with you - or if you want to avoid acohol all together, take your guests bowling or plan some sort of outing that is unigue to you. I went to one wedding were the reception was followed by a baseball tournament - the bride even played in her wedding dress - it was SO MUCH MORE FUN then most weddings. Many people will say stuff like that is "tacky" but the truth is, most people HATE wedding for a reason - all that lack of tack is BORING!!
2006-12-20 13:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wedding is a personal choice. You have a vision for your wedding that includes your bridesmaids dresses, your dress, your flowers, your colors/theme and your reception. You should meet your expectations. Yes there are certain social expectations. If you attend a wedding at 5pm, you expect dinner would be at the reception. One at 8or9pm, probably will have deserts and booze. And last very late. Yes it is very odd to have an evening wedding that does not have alcohol. What time is the wedding? A morning or early afternoon wedding, there is no expectation of alcohol and it is expected that it will be a shorter reception. Without music and alcohol, it will be a shorter reception--probably not a 4 hr thing. Is that what you have in mind? Do you want to get out of there by a certain time? If so you might consider moving it earlier in the day. However, realize this is meeting your dreams. AND COST. Alcohol is one of the most expensive parts--if you dont want to invest the money--don't bother. But its about your vision for your wedding. If it doesnt include alcohol and dancing, and you don't want it to last 4 hours, remember its YOUR wedding.
2006-12-20 11:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand wanting to have music at the wedding. It gives people something to do, but if you and your future husband don't want alcohol at the reception that is something that you can go without. Generally, yes, it is the norm to have free beer or what-not at the reception, but it is a personal choice. If my husband and I would have had a reception, we wouldn't have had the free booze either.
Just make sure that you have someting going on to keep the people entertained. That is why I am almost wondering if you should still have some kind of music. Even if it is your own radio plugged into a corner. If you have good food and at least some music for people to listen to they will still be able to get together with family that they don't see very often and enjoy the company.
Best wishes to you and your fiance. And remember, it's your wedding. You can do what you want as long as it makes YOU happy.
2006-12-27 02:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by StayJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you provide food and punch people will take care of them selves. Once they go through the reception line and eat the cake many people will find someone that they know and catch up with them. Family will enjoy each other and others will make new friends. I had a lovely reception in my church with no music or alcohol and not one person complained. In fact I had many say what a nice change it was not having to have to try to talk over the loud music. Don't worry about changing your place. It is your day.
2006-12-27 03:52:24 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been to many lovely receptions without alcohol. A DJ can be nice, but some other fun ideas are having family members perform things for the reception, or having an orchestra or something. After all it's more about making the night memorable for you and your new spouse and not about meeting everyone else's expectations.
2006-12-27 08:36:22 · answer #8 · answered by kyrsan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You needn't worry. I didn't have a band or DJ or alchohol at my reception either: Just different sodas and a nice punch. And someone brought a boom box and a supply of music.
If your church is going to object to the music part, then you might be better off looking for somewhere else for your reception. But booze is not really needed.
Congratulations on the wedding!
2006-12-20 11:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been to a few wedding where it was just a dinner reception and it was wonderful. Everyone was talking and sharing stories. There was still the cake cutting and that was great. The best man was able to make his toast to the couple and everyone listened. It went very well.
Just remember this is your wedding. It is a celebration of those you love to share in this day that you become husband and wife...they shouldn't be there for free drinks! Your goal is not to impress your family and friends. It is to tell everyone that you are married! So go and have fun anyway you like!
2006-12-20 11:11:38 · answer #10 · answered by dutchfam7 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Find out what other couples have done in that location. I have been to wedding like that. Not a big deal really. There were plenty of stories, toasting, and celebration. The trick is to arrange the tables so that there is no room for dancing. That way if anyone is upset, you can just tell them that it was more important that everyone be able to attend. As for alcohol, you do NOT want a bunch of drunk people embarrassing you at your church.
2006-12-20 11:11:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋