I have a friend named *Joe. I known him longer than my bf. we're pretty good friends, not best but pretty close. Last 6 months he's had it rough with relationships with girls, they alwasy seem to be using him or rejecting him. So now *Joe's mentality is "look out for himself, dont care bout anyone else".. I tried talking with him, comforting him, helping him, supporting him as hes feeling bad.. but hes just acting like a jerk. its like even though i didnt hurt him like that, he's bitter towards all girls. in the end *joe told me to "get fncked". i feel like its just a phase an he'll be alright in a while when he has some time off work. i told my bf this as he knows im friends with *joe. my bf wants his email address to abuse the heck out of him.. what should i do?
2006-12-20 10:44:28 · 11 answers · asked by WomanSoHeartless 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell the bf to grow up... Don't give him the e-mail address.
2006-12-20 10:55:46 · answer #1 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd give Joe some space. I think you're right: it is just a phase he's going through, but he needs a little time to work it out. You can keep a low profile where Joe's concerned, continuing to present an example of a girl who is truly a nice, caring person.
As for your boyfriend... While I believe that honesty is essential and especially in your love relationship, telling your bf everything Joe said is only going made him angry (he obviously doesn't want anyone diss-ing his girl!). Now you're going to have to use some real diplomacy. Letting your bf abuse your friend may just escalate everything; verbal abuse could lead to physical retaliation -- who needs that!?!
Is there a way you can reassure your bf that he is absolutely your number one priority and that Joe is really a friend ONLY and that's it's not necessary for your bf to straighten out your friends; you can do that yourself. Tell your bf you appreciate his coming to your defense (your knight in shining armor, yes?) but you don't want the whole situation to be blown out of proportion. Your friend said something stupid in a moment of anger. Everyone has done something like that. Forgive and forget.
Meanwhile, if Joe keeps on being angry at you for what others have put him through, I'd remind him that you've been his friend through thick and thin and deserve better treatment from him. No more telling you to get eff-ed. Period.
Good luck!
2006-12-20 11:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by pat z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well here's the thing...if you give your bf joe's e-mail address then you can count on not being friends with joe anymore. but at the same time you have to encourage your bf's "male protectiveness" (it's good for them)....hmmmm...so what I would do is this...
Call joe and say that you are upset about his treatment of you..do this while your bf is in the room...have a conversation with joe first....then have your bf speak to him in a polite but firm manner saying along the lines "that he should watch his mannerisms around you from......one guy to other you wouldn't want your gf spoke to like that esp from another male friend or not."
If anything he will respect you more just for the fact you have a someone who cares enough about you to stick up for you. But you must make sure your bf doesn't get hot headed about...this is a friend...not some random dude. Ya know.
2006-12-20 10:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your bf is jealous but you should still try 2 make you friend joe feel good cause rite now he needs help and support and you always have to choose friends instead of bf because friends will always be there 4 you and bf will diss u when they get mad
2006-12-20 10:55:33 · answer #4 · answered by susana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your boyfriend obviously is upset, though he shouldn't email the friend. talk to your man and try to change his mind, and let joe know in case anything happens, what the story was.
2006-12-20 10:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeesh Oprah, are you trying to solve everyone's problems but your own? Like are you Florence Nightengale or what? I think your bf should ditch you. take up cooking, get pregnant and start knitting some baby clothes. Gawd knows you are wasting your time trying to help poor ole joe.
2006-12-20 10:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
whatever you do don't give your bf his email thats wrong shouldn't kick anyone who's down.there's nothing you can do nomatter how sorry you feel for him he has to work it out himself sometimes it takes a while. when you love deep it takes longer to get it out of your system. just be his friend he'll be ok.
2006-12-20 10:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by Willie F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good tht u r helping ur friend but just don't create a bad scene for ur self since u know ur friend more than ur bf.
2006-12-20 10:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by Dark Side 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't seem to want your help so maybe he just needs some space away from women for a while. I say leave him alone til he figures out you were just trying to be his friend.
2006-12-20 10:51:51 · answer #9 · answered by Die S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should leave Joe alone until he wants to talk to u and just don't tell your boyfriend his email if u do Joe will get so mad at u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-20 10:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by yarriqueen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋