on how i could start to love myself, i had a bad time with relationships where i was critisised a lot but i know have the most wonderful guy and it hurts him when i dont believe his compliments, what could you advise?
2006-12-20 10:13:53 · 16 answers · asked by shadow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it takes a change of attitude. i'm a bit chunky and have always been self conscious of it until i met a man who loved it. He told me I could dress sexy for him and be sexy and that weight did not matter at all. Thank goodness this insecurity then somehow went away. Many many men would love to have a little extra versus a little less on a woman. there are absolutely men who like bigger women too. so enjoy the fact that he thinks you look great and try to always take care of yourself, wear feminine underclothing and realize you are beautiful for him. it does not matter if in this world you are short, tall, fat, skinny, bald, pretty, not so pretty because there will ALWAYS be someone who does not like you for any number of their often superficial reasons (and this is their problem- not yours) and there will ALWAYS be someone who likes you for who you are. These are the best type of people in the world. The judgemental types are not the kind of people to make friends with ( and these types are judgemental af everyone). It is just the way life is. Your mind and heart are the most important thing you have to offer. So realize the most important people to please are yourself and the one you love.
2006-12-20 10:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by lindasue m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shadow, you're not the only person to feel this way. What you have to realize is that beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder. How you behold yourself is more important than any of the sompliments or criticisms the world could ever give you.
First of all you are beautiful. Remember that looks fade away as we age and if all someone is basing their like or dislike of you is your weight, then they are truly missing out on the wonderful person you are.
God doesn't make any mistakes, and he blessed you with the life you have in the body your soul is housed in for a glorious reason. Try starting and ending your day with a positive affirmation (i.e., I am beautiful, I'm the baddest thing walking, Can't nobody stop beauty on the go).
Lastly, if the guy you're with really is a great man, stop second guessing him. Trust him and take all of the compliments with an open heart. The fastest way to run something good away is to neglect it and treat it as if it doesn't exist.
Good luck.
2006-12-20 18:22:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear i'm overweight too and getting a divorce after 35 yrs . but i am with a guy that is contantly telling me how beautiful i am ,and everything about me . at first i thought it was just to get me in bed but it wasn't he ask me to marry him and we haven't even had a sexual relationship yet .so my advice is take all the complments you can get and just belive that even though we know ourselves that we have feature issues . going on that to this man you are beautiful to him and it doesn't matter what other people think cause your in it for you and him not to please anyone else in this world . and believe me when i say i have been though the same issues that you are dealing with . but i have over come them because as long as we are happy with each other there's no stopping all the love that will fill your heart and make you realize and be able to say to your self yes i am a beautiful person to me and my love and that's all you will ever need
. good luck hope thios helped somewhat.
2006-12-20 18:25:42 · answer #3 · answered by lavender 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont Worry! If This Guy Says This Stuff Without You Hinting He Means It And Hey If Hes Not Your True Love Hes Out There Somewhere The Guy Who Will See All Your Flaws And Deem Them Perfection And Vice Versa
2006-12-20 18:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Julia 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have to realize that everyguy likes different things in a girl, for all you know he might like girls that are just a little overweight (i know guys like this) or not like super hot or something, it might make them self consious and so they just accept and love the girl they got. You also said that you are really self consious and so you might just be thinking tou are overweight because you see the people in magazines and such and see that you are nothing like them and think there something wrong wit you...which is not true, see its not healthy to be that skinny and alot of them actually aren't but it looks like they are by the way the picture is taken, also guys see these pictures and so they want their girls to be just like them and critisize when they aren't, this could be why you have had a hard time in past relationships. Just accept that your boy is different and he loves you. As for loving yourself more just focus on the things you really like about yourself, even if it isn't something physical.
2006-12-20 18:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by cndrll_1613 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy that your getting the compliments and stuff. And be happy that you have someone. maybe try working out a little if you want to lose weight and make yourself look better. but pretty much your boy loves you for who you are not what you look like so you dont have anything to worry about
2006-12-20 18:18:38 · answer #6 · answered by VoodooTribe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound just like mee! I have always been self-concious, since I was 3 years old. seriously! I have tried everything & I even talk to a counselor about it, nothing seems to help. Just wear clothes that flatter your body and pray about it. I never believe anyones compliments but I say thankyou anyway just so I don't come off rudly.
2006-12-20 18:17:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take this from a happily overweight person who loves every inch of her body, in order to love yourself you have to get to where you are comfortable in your own skin. that means being able to look in the mirror and like what you see despite what people around you say. trust me, i get fat jokes ll the time but i am comfortable enough with myself to laugh along (as much as i hate to admit it some of them are funny!) you have a man that loves you for you, weight and all so just enjoy it. take the compliments and believe them because im sure you are everything he says you are, you just have to learn to believe it. hope it works out for you!!
2006-12-20 18:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by felita2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to love out loud...like you have never been hurt before. love yourself...fake it till you make it, try some daily affirmations and allow this guy to shower you with all the love he is able to give, and soak it up remembering to thank him!!
2006-12-20 18:16:41 · answer #9 · answered by never2pink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie dont feel like that i am 60 pounds over weight but i am the same that was before and think positive always okay dont forget that okay
2006-12-20 18:22:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋